Men who see marrying their wives as a favour do not do well in marriage.

 Men who see marrying their wives as a favour do not do well in marriage. Husbands that see their wives as liabilities, do not have the knowledge of marital relationship. They will find it difficult to respect their wives, after all they married them out of pity, 'let me just help your ministry'. 

Your complaint about sincere Muslim sisters is unfounded, you are not confident of yourself, when you talk like a person that tolerates poverty, you preach Islam as if poverty is one of its pillars, yet you want a sister to marry you. Look at the two scenarios;

Brother A, lives in one room in Ajegunle, he proposes to a sister, 'Assalam Alaykum sister Rasheedah, I want to marry you, I am a teacher, and I pray Allah expand my source of income, I have written application letters to many organizations, infact, I did one interview last week, I pray they pick me, I also do online business, I stay in one room for now, in Sha Allah, I know we deserve a better accommodation when we get married, which I believe when things are good, we will be able to get a spacious apartment.'

Brother B, 'Assalam Alaykum sister Rasheedah, I want to help you, you know sisters are many, I manage in one school, and that is where I work sha. I hope you can stay in one room, because you these sisters like flat, but me, I cannot kill myself, there are some companions that got married with ordinary date, but today, we are making everything difficult for brothers, you these sisters do not have aqeedah. I have suffered in the hands of many sisters, so let me know, are you interested or not, I don't have time to waste?'

Obviously, sister Rasheedah will prefer the man with good conduct in words and actions. Your inability of getting a suitable partner is not spiritual, but character. Character is more important than being handsome in marriage, if you do not have it, your partner will not be happy. Many of the things people are looking for in a partner are deceptive and fleeting; but an intending partner who fears Allah is to be considered. The words of the brother or sister must match the actions, character builds trust, strengthens respect, promotes loyalty, and translates to rock-solid reputations. 

You are rude and unrefined, no manner of approach and conduct, carelessly you approach people around you, yet you complain of not getting a decent brother, in the real sense, most men seeking sisters do not want to marry problem, they need ladies that will be responsible. So, instead of looking for a man that will marry you with your negative attitude, work on yourself and be a plus to the life of your partner. Marriage is not a rehabilitation center where you want to seek medical attention or correction to traits and habits that can be corrected before tying the knot. 

There are spiritual situations that prevent people from getting married, but not all problems are laced with such, some causes are self inflicted issues that can be corrected with counseling and psychotherapy. It is not the fault of the medium you are using to seek a partner, the same match making process you are quarreling with has been used successfully by other people, so check yourself for proper assessment, relax, pray and work hard, and you will be happy by Allah's assistance. In the relationship and marriage class, we always dwell more emphasis on self importance, how much of yourself do you know? Once you are able to identify your kind, choosing a suitable partner will be easy in sha Allah. 

Always pay attention to details.

Abu Sheikh