TEMPTATION: ARE YOU GUILTY?

 ﷽

*TEMPTATION: ARE YOU GUILTY?*

You know Mus'ab, right? He’s that brother you always saw posting religious stuffs on Facebook, coordinating religious events in his school, and also clean the masjid for weekly halqah. He was loved by everyone he met online and offline. The youths, especially, bonded with him, and they often sought his help with their problems—from parental control to dating or even sex and music addictions.

At class, people knew Mus'ab as the only “practicing” Muslim. When it's time for Salaah, He would just walk out to masjid even when the lecture is going on, Mus'ab don't shake hands with ladies and most of them knew to keep their distance.

He was quite the handsome fella though; when he entered the class some of the ladies would nudge each other and whisper and giggle almost childishly. A few of them even wore revealing clothes and acted flirtatiously with him just to tease him. But his faith kept him resistant; he’d often explain to them the etiquettes of interaction between men and women in Islam, trying all-the-while to lower his gaze and then mind his own business.

Also, Sisters online also love to read from him because of his great sense of humour accompanied with religious values and many proceed to have private chats with him by feigning some silly questions. He answered their questions and keep every other things off.

That worked for a while, but before he knew it, Shaytaan had gotten the best of him; he slowly began stealing glances at ladies in his class secretly every now and then. Also chatting with sisters carelessly till dead nights. He'd told them all what his life's about and they knew when he eats and clean up. He’d catch himself and remember Allah’s words: “He sees the betrayal of the eyes, and what the hearts conceal.” He’d force himself to focus on his work again.

Bit by bit, though, he started convincing himself that it’s only a glance and chatting to make friend, and at least he’s not actually doing anything wrong with them. He got comfortable with his glances, which became longer stares and full-blown visual examinations after some time. Soon enough, He started meeting sisters he'd met at Facebook and also giving ladies at his class private tutorials, their contours and gestures would replay in his mind after they left.

He started having lustful thoughts many times throughout the day. These feelings became stronger and stronger, until his heart became inflamed with desire, and severe longing to be with one of them. But he had enough faith and taqwa (God-consciousness) left in his heart to know that such an act would be out of the question; he would just feel too ashamed of himself before Allah to fall into such a situation.

To satisfy himself without harming anyone else or his reputation, he began spending his nights looking at porn, which eventually led him to masturbation. He’d feel so utterly disgusted and ashamed of himself afterwards, but his desires had become too intense. Soon he became addicted to the very same things he counseled the youth about! The feeling of hypocrisy ate at his heart, and he decided to isolate himself from the brothers who needed him.

Until one day, when one of these ladies came for tutorial, she's lingering and making advances; he froze, temptation ignited, and all hell broke loose…

You might not be “Mus'ab”—or maybe you are. It might go down differently with each person, but the reality is that the temptations brothers and sisters are bombarded with at class, online, in the street, or on TV can make even the strongest and most Islamically active of them fall.

HOW CAN WE RESIST TEMPTATION?

What should we do to battle temptations, and how to stop if we're already giving in?

You might think only men suffer from Mus'ab’s problem. But let me tell you about Sumayyah.

She was a very bright, energetic sister in her mid-20s. She's a Muslim poet and also an ADMIN to several sisters' group on social media, Sumayyah also teaches her fellow sisters on campus how to recite the Glorious Qur-ān.

The brothers respected her and jokingly called her ‘shaykha’ (scholar) because she wouldn’t mingle and flirt with men. The girls looked up to her and wanted to be just like her. She was all around a top-notch Muslimah.

Sumayyah sometimes feel disturbed and stressed, she would make some posts on Facebook revealing her feeling. Some brothers would use the opportunity to message her and ask if she's OK, Initially, she was guarded and would tell them not to worry. But a particular brother kept prodding her day after day until she finally opened up—and actually broke down. He talked to her and comforted her.

She liked that he cared and showed a lot of concern. When she expressed her feelings, he would listen without judging or telling her what to do or change. He made her smile, and cheered her up. Every time she talked to him, she felt a load lift off her shoulders. And they became friends.

Though the brother never tell her about love or dating, so she thought all is well since it's all about friendship and the brother is old enough to be her brother. She thought it's ok to take some advice from him. She soon got accustomed to him and knew so many things about him.

Now, she started looking forward to meet this brother. She liked his optimism and positive attitude. He became her energy fix. The way he advice her made her feel cool.

The way he joked with her made her feel loved. He had something else on his mind, but she had no idea.

The brother was a married man. She never imagined that she’d fall in love before marriage, let alone with someone who was taken. She felt guilty and torn, but was already too attached to him—to how he made her feel. Her heart soaked him up, and swelled with love, and lust. She wanted him near her. She wanted to smell him and feel his touch. No, no, no. She knew that she shouldn’t have these feelings and impure thoughts. She knew so well that Almighty Allāh was closer to her than her own jugular vein, and that he was well aware of her secrets. Yet, every time she was chatting with him, she’d forget all that. She’d actually forget Allah momentarily, because desire consumed her senses.

Sumayyah had become enslaved to her lover, and that was when she lost all self-control just like someone at somewhere reading this post....

Just like it happened to Mus'ab and Sumayyah, brothers and sisters including the married ones fall victims to temptation. Yours might not be from the social media or the classroom, but the reality is that temptation is everywhere.

The prophet said : "I have not left behind me any fitnah (temptation) more harmful to men than women" Bukhari 5096, Muslim 2740

Being unable to handle temptation had led many lives to chaos and also led a lot of couples to opt for divorce.

But if you can trust me and read this till the end, you can win the battle of temptation against shaytaan.

TIPS AND SUGGESTIONS ON HOW TO BATTLE TEMPTATION

Whether your struggle is at the initial stage of guarding your gaze and thoughts, or at the level of watching porn, masturbating or dating. These are some suggestions and tip to help battling temptation.

1. CUT AND REPENT: No matter how addicted you are to that wrong person, force your self to stop the relationship with him/her and repent now, renew your faith in Allāh and have it in mind that he is watching everything you do and knows everything going on your inbox.

People may be seeing you as Maa Shaa Allah brother / sister, but you know in yourself that you are a Sub-hānallah or even A'ūdhu Billaah. You may not call it 'love' with that person, but you know inside yourself that the relationship between you two is below ordinary, Cut it once, remember the great torment awaiting anyone who do so and also remember yourself about the great reward you will earn if you refrain from the unlawful. That lady can never be better than the hoor al'ayn waiting for you in jannah.

Just cut the rope connecting you two once without looking back. It may be hard, but summon the courage to do so. Remember it is a strife for Jannah.

Allah says:" But as for him who feared standing before his lord, and restrain himself from impure, evil desires and lusts. Verily Paradise will be his abode (Q79:40-41)

2. YOUR EYES: You shouldn't give room for temptation, If you are not involved yet, remember that lowering the gaze will really guard you from temptation, Isn't it surprising that something as dangerous as zina (adultery or fornication) starts from the gaze?! Why don't you lower your gaze and free yourself from the bondage of shaytaan. But you shouldn't lower you gaze from her chest and then plug it to the pornography on your phone. Keep your eyes from everything unlawful including those 18+ stories and romantic novels. 

3. MARRIAGE: Over thousands of years ago, our great Prophet Muhammad (Blessings and Peace of Allāh be upon him) recommended a great remedy for temptation. Yeah, the remedy is marriage! Marriage will help you lower your gaze and guard your chastity. Anytime you got tempted by the opposite sex, whether on the street or on the social media, just go to your spouse and quench your thirst. And if you are not married, go and nikkah it, Nikkah will save you from that hell.

4. FASTING: Fasting reduces the power of those false urges, if you are not married yet, fast at any fastable day to reduce the urge.The prophet recommended that also.

5. COMPANIONS: Had it been Sumayyah got a friend of her gender that she could express her feelings to, she might not fall to the hand of that married man, many people also fell to this when they need advice, lesson or just a person to chat with, they couldn't find a friend of their gender and they begin to share it with an opposite sex. There shouldn't be a close friendship between you and an opposite gender that is not your mahram, No matter how much their love for you, it is the love we've for our chickens in poultry, just for one day to come and we eat/sell them. And even if we were to have friends of our gender, they should be good friends in terms of religion and moral. Bad companion will make you feel too-holy and they make you be like them. They will make you see bad things like Zina as something in vogue.

Keep yourself away from bad friends and set yourself free from the bondage of shaytaan.

6. DON'T GIVE WAY: Help yourself by keeping away from places of temptation, stop saying I have enough eeman (faith), so I can go to a stripper hotel and buy soft drink. This is not a matter of eeman, remember that Mus'ab and sumayyah also have eeman and later give up. You shouldn't stay alone with an opposite sex, even if she's a niqabi (wearing niqab). Don't teach her tajweed in your room. Block all possible way.

7. DHIKR (REMEMBRANCE OF ALLĀH): Shaytaan brings about those temptations, whenever you felt the evil thought stroking your mind, Quickly seek refuge from Allah against the accursed and occupy your tongue with the remembrance of Allah. Only in the remembrance of Allah the heart with find solace. 

8. SET A PENALTY: Set a penalty for yourself like praying all night and fasting consecutively, then enforce the penalty anytime you slip.

Increase the penalty in increments or duration, the more you keep doing the sin.

Soon enough, your desire to rest or eat well will outweigh the need to fulfill other desire.

Plus, these good deeds are means of expiating your sins and gaining mercy of Allāh (Sub-haanahu wata'aala). If your chosen penalty doesn't work with you, change it to something more effective or enforce more than one penalty simultaneously.

And finally, always pray to Almighty Allāh to save you from all kinds of temptation.

May Allāh (Sub-haanahu wata'aala) ease our affairs. Ameen