Etiquette of visiting Graves

 *🌷Etiquette of visiting Graves*🌷

When we visit graves, we should do the following:

- we should greet them and say salaam to them. And do what is proven from the Sunnah. 

السلام عليكم أهل الديار من المؤمنين والمسلمين ، وإن شاء الله بكم لاحقون ، أسأل الله لنا ولكم العافية

“Assalaamu ‘alaykum ahl al-diyaar min al-mu’mineen wa’l-Muslimeen, in sha Allaah bikum laahiqoon, as’al Allaaha lana wa lakum al-‘aafiyah”

“peace be upon you O people of the dwellings, believers and Muslims, In sha Allaah we will join you, I ask Allaah to keep us and you safe and sound.” 

Or we can say:

السلام على أهل الديار من المؤمنين والمسلمين ويرحم الله المستقدمين منا والمستأخرين وإنا إن شاء الله بكم للاحقون

“Al-salaamu ‘ala ahl il-diyaar min al-mu’mineen wa’l-Muslimeen, wa yarham Allaah al-mustaqdimeena minna wa’l-musta’khireen, wa innaa in sha Allaah bikum la laahiqoon”

“Peace be upon the inhabitants of the graves, believers and Muslims. May Allaah have mercy upon those who have gone ahead of us and those who come later on, and verily we will, in sha Allaah, join you.” 

(Muslim, 974)

-we should make duaa *“for”* them. 

- we should ask Allaah to forgive them.

- we can raise the hands when making duaa for them but we should *NOT* face the grave while doing that. 

*Rather we should face the qiblah.* 

-There’s *no Qur’aan* to be read, not even Surah al-Faatihah. 

🍃 Shaikh Ibn Uthaymeen said: 

‘As for the graveyards then they are not a place for reading of the Qur’aan, but rather they are a place for giving Salaam upon the dead and making Dua for them, not a place for making Dua, nor to make Dua to them.

So the deceased are not to be made Dua to, nor to make (general) Dua at their graveside. 

But rather Dua is made for them for mercy and forgiveness because they are in dire need of Dua.’

[Fatawa Noor ala Darb tape no. 30 section of Aqeedah/Bida]

- no need to sprinkle water, except at the time of burial.  

- no need to take flowers or place a plant etc there 

- don’t walk on the graves or sit on them. 

🍃 The Prophet sal Allaahu Alayhi wa sallam said:

“If I were to walk on hot coals or on a sword, or if I were to mend my shoes using my feet, that would be better for me than if I were to walk on the grave of a Muslim. 

And it makes no difference to me if I were to relieve myself in the midst of the graves or in the middle of the market-place [i.e., both are equally bad].’” 

(Ibn Maajah, 1567 saheeh by al-Albaani) 

🍃 And Jaabir radhi Allaahu anhu said: 

“The Messenger of Allaah Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam forbade us to plaster graves with gypsum, to sit on them or to build anything over them.” (Muslim)

*🔺As for women going to visit the graves:*

There’s a difference of opinion among the scholars about women visiting graves. 

According to some of the ulama it's allowed for women to visit the graveyard because of the general meaning of the hadeeth in which the Prophet Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam  said:

 "I had forbid you from visiting the graveyards. As for now, visit them, for they remind you of death." (Muslim)

But some ulama forbade women from going to graveyards because there's another hadeeth that says: 

"Allaah has cursed the Zawaaraat (Visitors-Feminine) of the graveyards, and those that build mosques and place lamps on them" (at-Tirmidhi and others)

And so according to the opinion of the second group, it’s haraam for women to go to graves, no matter who the deceased might be. 

The first group consider the word Zawaaraat as something done repetitively on a regular basis. 

Therefore, in their opinion the prohibition for women ONLY applies IF they keep visiting the graves AGAIN and AGAIN and make it a habit that's done FREQUENTLY. 

So there are certain conditions that women have to keep in mind, if they want to follow the opinion that they can visit the graves. 

🔺Those conditions are:

 

1. They are dressed Islaamically and covered properly.

2. No screaming, wailing and going hysterical.

3. They don't make it a frequent, repetitive thing. 

If however someone wants to take the safest opinion then it's *best for women to avoid going there*. 

And Allaah knows best