10 REASONS FOR THE RAMADĀN GUILT TRIP

*10 REASONS FOR THE RAMADĀN GUILT TRIP*

A Ramadan where you don’t gain weight from overeating at iftars, don’t miss a single suhoor so you’re not tired the next day at work, actually finish reading the Qur’an during the month, pray all your taraweeh/Nawafil prayers (and of course, obligatory prayers) on time and in perfect concentration, focus on ibadaat intensely in the last nights of Ramadan instead of going on a crazy shopping frenzy for Eid?

So what are the reasons for falling into this guilt ride every month? Here are 10 reasons I thought of:

1. Unrealistic Expectations: Each year we go into Ramadan with extremely high expectations of ourselves. How many times have you heard people promise themselves they’ll finish the Qur’an 5 times this Ramadan; or that they will pray taraweeh and tahajjud every single night? There is nothing wrong with high aspirations; in fact, we should have high goals to challenge and improve ourselves. However, knowing ourselves, we shouldn’t make our goals unrealistic, thereby putting a lot of psychological pressure on ourselves. So when we feel that we ‘slipped,’ even

slightly, we lose all hope of ‘making it’ and fall into the oh-well-maybe-next-year syndrome instead of re-adjusting our plans and expectations 

2. We don’t ease into Ramadan: We see a mega transformation in ourselves during the first days of Ramadan - we’re waking up an hour early before Fajr even though we may not be trained to wake up that early during normal days. We pray 20 rak’ah taraweeh when we barely prayed the sunnah prayers before. We read 10-20 pages of Qur’an each day when we normally barely read a page or two a week! What’s the result of this big push? We can only sustain it for a few days then we lose track, realize it’s too hard, and we’re back to square one.

3. Lack of consistency: The moment we reach the middle of Ramadan, our hectic schedule begins to overtake us and we slip; our daily routine of reading 10 pages of Qur’an after Fajr is no longer taking place; going to taraweeh every night soon becomes every other night; waking up for tahajjud is replaced by waking up a bit before Fajr for suhoor; and we drop our

consistency when we most need it.

4. Lack of knowledge: Not equipping ourselves with practical knowledge about making most of Ramadan is a big factor in having a Ramadan guilt trip. Lack of understanding the virtue of Ramadan, and lack of understanding of the psychological, physical, and emotional ingredients to have a fulfilling Ramadan is also a factor. 

5. Lack of community support: Ramadan seems like a personal battle for each of us. No one really talks about their spiritual experiences and how well they are keeping up with their Ramadan resolutions. We seem to fight ourselves in Ramadan. There’s not much of a support group or discussion – just me, myself, and I.

6. Lack of time management: “Time management? What time management? Oh you mean that thing when you’re supposed to allocate certain tasks at certain times…brother, please, what are you talking about? This is Ramadan, things are different in Ramadan…it’s Ramadan! We can’t manage time in Ramadan, it would be nice just to get time to sleep properly, man…” I rest my

case.

7. Lack of energy management: Nutrition and sleep seem to be the first casualty during Ramadan – we don’t eat properly, we don’t sleep properly, hence we can’t function properly and we fall into the Ramadan Guilt Trip! 

8. Lack of fitness: “Are you crazy?! Fitness in Ramadan?! Dude which planet do you come from?” No, I’m not crazy. Fitness is very possible in Ramadan, and in fact, I’ll argue that it is quite important too.

9. Missing the spiritual link: Ah, the crux of Ramadan – developing our spiritual self and taqwa of Allah Subhanahu wa Ta’ala. Somehow we forget that Ramadan is a time for spiritual renewal. We lose ourselves halfway through Ramadan and the next thing we know, we’ve boarded the roller coaster ride of a guilty Ramadan. 

10. Lack of training: We don’t plan for Ramadan, we train for Ramadan. Ramadan is the arena for the believers, a chance to perform our best, and reap the benefits. But it needs all-year training. As any Olympic athlete will tell you, you need to practice for the big race and not just turn up on the event day and expect to win! Now I know I’m generalizing and maybe the above 10 reasons for falling into a guilt-ridden Ramadan do not apply to you, but I want you to search through your memories and experiences of Ramadan and ask yourself if any of the above 10 reasons were actually the root causes for you having an ‘unproductive Ramadan.’