BROTHERS’ BREAKFAST

 

BROTHERS’ BREAKFAST

بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِيمِ

It is a sad reality that, for many Muslim men, the last time they sincerely told their wives, “I love you,” “You are beautiful,” or “You are one in a million” was before the wedding—or perhaps only a few weeks after it.

Like a candle that burns brightly at first but gradually flickers into darkness, the warmth of our words can fade with time.

The Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ) was known to express affection and appreciation towards his wives. He would even playfully race with ‘Ā’ishah (رضي الله عنها), demonstrating that affection and playfulness have a place in marriage. 📚 (Sunan Abī Dāwūd)

If the best of mankind (ﷺ) showed affection towards his wives, then who are we to withhold kind and loving words from our own wives?

Imagine this:

Your wife spends time choosing a beautiful outfit and adorning herself in a way that would make an outsider say, “Mā shā’ Allāh, she looks radiant!”

Yet, when she walks past you or sits beside you, you remain silent—unmoved and seemingly unimpressed, as though you barely noticed her.

How heartbreaking it can be for a woman to feel that she must seek appreciation from strangers because her own husband—the man whose opinion should mean so much to her—never seems to notice her efforts.

This reminds me of a story that has been shared about a married woman who eventually became emotionally attached to another man after repeatedly receiving compliments from him.

She explained that her husband rarely complimented her, even when she dressed nicely to please him. At her workplace, however, a new male colleague regularly complimented her appearance. At first, she rejected his comments and warned him to stop. But over time, she became accustomed to the compliments. Eventually, she began looking for him when he was not around, and what began as seemingly harmless attention developed into an inappropriate emotional attachment.

My brother,

Her behaviour was wrong, and marital infidelity can never be justified by a lack of compliments from a spouse. Nevertheless, there is an important lesson here for husbands: do not underestimate the power of attention, appreciation, and kind words within your marriage.

The Prophet (ﷺ) said:

“The best of you are those who are best to their wives.”
📚 (Jāmi‘ at-Tirmidhī)

Being among those who are “best” is not merely about providing financially. It also includes noticing her, appreciating her efforts, speaking kindly to her, and making her feel valued.

A simple:

“Mā shā’ Allāh, you look beautiful.”

“That colour really suits you.”

“You look lovely today.”

or even:

“Jazākillāhu khayran for everything you do for our family.”

can brighten her entire day.

Brothers, let us also be honest with ourselves.

How often do we notice or admire female strangers, while failing to appreciate the woman Allah has entrusted to us as our wife?

Why should our eyes be quick to notice the beauty of others while becoming blind to the beauty, loyalty, sacrifices, and character of our own wives?

Your wife may wake up early, care for the home, support you through difficulties, remain loyal to you, and make an effort to look beautiful—perhaps especially for you.

Notice her. Appreciate her. Compliment her. Thank her.

Do not wait until another man notices what you have been taking for granted.

A man may spend his life searching for diamonds in the desert, only to return home and discover that he already had one in his pocket.

Allah (SWT) says:

“And live with them in kindness.”
📖 Qur’an 4:19

Kindness in marriage is not limited to material provision. It is also expressed through gentle words, loving gazes, appreciation, patience, affection, and acknowledgement.

So, brothers, do not allow your wives to feel invisible in their own homes.

Compliment your wives. Express your love. Appreciate their efforts. Make them feel beautiful, valued, and cherished—within the boundaries of what is pleasing to Allah.

And remember: a good marriage is built not only through major sacrifices, but also through the small acts of kindness we practise consistently.

May Allah SWT bless our marriages, increase love and mercy between spouses, protect our homes from Shayṭān, and make us among those who are best to our wives. Āmīn.

Share this write-up to remind other brothers.

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