DO OR DIE AFFAIR

بِسْمِ اللَّهِ الرَّحْمَٰنِ الرَّحِيمِ

Sometimes, good and decent men and women experience difficulties in relationships, whether before or after marriage. Some remain unmarried despite their sincere efforts to find a life partner. Others experience repeated relationship breakups. A man may begin a relationship with a woman on good terms, only to suddenly withdraw without offering any explanation.

Some people also experience repeated disappointments just when something good is about to happen in their lives. It may not necessarily concern marriage; it could be a job opportunity, a business venture, an academic achievement or another important aspiration.

And then the heart cries:

"Why me?"

My brother, my sister, this is a question many people ask. Muslims ask it. People of other faiths ask it. Even those without religious beliefs ask it.

We must reflect on this question because, when people cannot understand why certain difficulties keep occurring, they may begin to feel that life is unfair. Some may even begin to wonder whether Allāh (SWT) has been unfair to them.

But remember: Allāh is Al-'Adl, The Most Just, and Ar-Rahmān, The Most Merciful. Allāh never wrongs His servants.

Allāh (SWT) says:

"Indeed, Allah does not wrong anyone by even an atom's weight..."

📚 Qur'an 4:40

Do not mistake a difficult season for divine rejection.

It is painful when people try repeatedly but see no positive results. Some become emotionally exhausted, lose confidence and eventually give up. They begin to say, "I can never make it again."

But should disappointment make you abandon hope?

Absolutely not!

UNDERSTAND THE SPIRITUAL DIMENSION

My dear brothers and sisters, Islam acknowledges the existence of Shayṭān, jinn, magic and other unseen realities. The Qur'an and authentic Sunnah teach us to seek Allāh's protection from their harm.

However, we must be careful not to attribute every failed relationship, delayed marriage, marital disagreement or personal disappointment to spiritual attacks.

Not every unmarried person has a spiritual spouse. Not every broken marriage is the result of magic. Not every unexpected setback is caused by evil spirits.

Some difficulties arise from human decisions, incompatibility, dishonesty, poor communication, financial circumstances and other challenges of life. Others may remain beyond our understanding.

We should therefore seek spiritual protection without becoming suspicious or fearful of the unseen.

PROTECT YOUR HEART AND YOUR HOME

One important way to strengthen your relationship with Allāh is to fill your life with His remembrance and the recitation of the Noble Qur'an.

Avoid anything that leads you towards disobedience, neglect of Salah or spiritual distraction. Be mindful of what you listen to, watch and allow into your heart.

Allah (SWT) says:

"And We send down of the Qur'an that which is healing and mercy for the believers..."

📚 Sūrah Al-Isrā' (17): 82

What does this mean for you?

The Qur'an is a source of guidance, healing, mercy and tranquillity. It comforts the troubled heart, strengthens faith and reminds us that we are never beyond the mercy of Allāh.

Read the Qur'an. Listen attentively to its recitation. Reflect upon its meanings and allow its teachings to influence your daily conduct.

For spiritual protection, make these authentic practices part of your daily routine:

1. Recite Āyat al-Kursī before sleeping.
2. Recite Sūrah Al-Ikhlāṣ, Al-Falaq and An-Nās before sleeping.
3. Recite the last two verses of Sūrah Al-Baqarah at night.
4. Maintain your morning and evening adhkār.
5. Establish your five daily Salah and make sincere du'ā to Allāh.

These are among the established practices taught in the Sunnah.

DO NOT GIVE UP!

My brother, my sister, do not allow repeated disappointments to destroy your hope.

If you desire marriage, continue making du'ā and take permissible, sensible steps towards finding a righteous spouse.

If you are experiencing marital difficulties, seek wise counsel and work towards resolving them. If you suspect spiritual harm, seek legitimate ruqyah based on the Qur'an and authentic Sunnah, and avoid fraudulent spiritual practitioners who exploit people's desperation.

Remember, you cannot overcome evil by seeking assistance through forbidden or demonic means. Your reliance should remain upon Allāh alone.

At the very least, create time every day to read three to five pages of the Noble Qur'an. If possible, listen to its recitation regularly and reflect upon its message. You may also play Qur'an recitation in your home, provided it is treated with the respect it deserves. However, playing it continuously throughout the night is not an established religious requirement.

FINALLY...

Never conclude that Allāh has abandoned you simply because your expectations have not materialised.

Perhaps the marriage you desperately desire is not right for you at this moment. Perhaps the opportunity you lost would have brought difficulties you could not foresee. Perhaps there is wisdom in a delay that you do not yet understand.

Allāh (SWT) says:

"Perhaps you dislike something which is good for you and like something which is bad for you. Allah knows and you do not know."

📚 Sūrah Al-Baqarah (2): 216

Keep making du'ā. Keep your Salah. Keep reading the Qur'an. Seek protection through authentic adhkār and place your trust in Allāh.

Your delay is not necessarily a denial, and your disappointment is not proof that you have been forgotten.

May Allāh (SWT) protect our homes, strengthen our marriages, grant righteous spouses to those seeking marriage, heal broken hearts, remove our difficulties and bless us with goodness in this life and the Hereafter.

Āmīn Yā Rabbal-'Ālamīn.