PERMISSIBILITY IS NOT ALWAYS THE WISEST CHOICE (II)

 

FAJR REMINDER: PERMISSIBILITY IS NOT ALWAYS THE WISEST CHOICE (II)

By: Umm ‘Affān

Jumādā al-Ūlā 22, 1448 AH | Monday, 2 November 2026

It is essential to understand that acknowledging the permissibility of marrying a chaste woman from the People of the Book is different from asserting that it is always the best option for every Muslim man in every situation. A permission granted by the Sharī‘ah does not necessarily mean that pursuing it is advisable in every circumstance. A discerning Muslim does not simply ask, “Is this lawful?” but also considers, “Will this choice safeguard my faith, strengthen my family, and help me fulfil my obligations to Allāh?”

In Sūrah Al-Mā’idah, the permission granted by Allāh (ﷻ) specifically concerns chaste women from the People of the Book. This condition must not be taken lightly or reduced to superficial assessments based on appearance, nationality, or religious affiliation. Sound judgment must be exercised rather than relying on hopeful assumptions.

Marriage encompasses far more than attraction and affection. It brings together two individuals whose beliefs, values, understanding of worship, and expectations of family life will influence the environment of their home. Therefore, a Muslim man contemplating marriage to a Christian or Jewish woman ought to reflect carefully on how religious differences will be managed.

How will the family observe religious practices? What religious teachings will the children receive? How will disagreements concerning religious celebrations, moral values, and the religious identities of the children be addressed? These are questions that should not be postponed until after the wedding but openly discussed before making a lifelong commitment.

One of the most critical aspects of marriage is the upbringing of children. A Muslim father's responsibilities extend beyond providing basic necessities such as food, clothing, shelter, and education. He must also fulfil his responsibility for their religious and moral development.

Allāh (ﷻ) states:

“O you who believe! Protect yourselves and your families from a Fire (Hell) whose fuel is men and stones.”

[Sūrah At-Taḥrīm (66): 6]

This verse reminds us that a believer's responsibilities extend beyond personal piety. They also include guiding and safeguarding their families through faith, religious instruction, and righteous example.

In a similar vein, the Messenger of Allāh (ﷺ) stated:

“Every one of you is a shepherd, and every one of you is responsible for his flock.”

[Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī 7138; Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 1829]

A father bears responsibility for those entrusted to his care. Therefore, a man contemplating marriage must consider the environment in which his children will grow, the values they will encounter daily, and the religious influences that will shape their worldview.

This does not mean that every non-Muslim mother will prevent her children from practising Islām, nor does it guarantee that every Muslim mother will automatically raise righteous children. Factors such as character, commitment, religious knowledge, and personal conduct play crucial roles. Nevertheless, when spouses hold different religious beliefs, the possibility of disagreements over their children's religious upbringing becomes a serious concern that deserves careful consideration.

Muslim man, do not make a marriage decision today while neglecting the spiritual implications it may have for your children tomorrow.

Before marriage, ask yourself: Will this woman support me in obeying Allāh and raising children who worship Him? This question carries far greater significance than merely asking whether she can provide a comfortable lifestyle.

To be continued tomorrow, Allāh willing.

I beseech Allāh (ﷻ) to guide us in our choices, grant us wisdom, and lead us towards decisions that safeguard our Dīn and benefit our families. Āmīn.