Let's Change Our Mindsets About Marriage* *Episode 146* *HOW NOT TO BE A KNIFE, BUT A WIFE

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*Let's Change Our Mindsets About Marriage*

*Episode 146*

*HOW NOT TO BE A KNIFE, BUT A WIFE*

1. The wife that wins all arguments with her husband is not wise. The home is not a Law court.

2. The wife that uses sex as a weapon in the home – placing embargo, going to bed in jeans, shorts and trousers – lacks wisdom.

3. The wife that uses the modern trends and laws of “women’s rights” to insult or ridicule her husband simply makes a fool of herself.

4. A woman that makes her home devoid of peace through bickering, nagging and quarrels needs help. A man should be eager to run away from office to be at home, for that should be the safest and coziest place on earth for him.

5. Modern-day equality in marriage does not mean competition. It simply means partnership. Taking advantage of such equality to turn around and become the de facto head of the home and oppress the man is tantamount to playing with fire. If you destroy your home, soon you will be the boss of an empty home.

6. A wise wife makes the man feel so good that he assumes that he is the head. Once he gets that feeling, the woman gently wields her power and the head actually turns to wherever the neck wants without a protest.

7. A wife that does not pull herself away from friends’ influence and advice or even from the control of her mother and father will have herself to blame.

8. When a man is looking for a wife, he bypasses women of different shapes and sizes to choose a wife. But soon after childbirth, many women hide under the excuse of childbirth to let go of themselves. Many stop bothering about their looks, shape, dressing, etc. Within 5 years of marriage, people start wondering if the wife is the man’s aunt, even though she is 7 years younger. Her defense is that if he truly loves her, he should love her the way she is. But when looking for a wife, he saw people like the present YOU and ignored them and settled for the former YOU. Today, you go to bed smelling of onions and pap. You go to bed wearing grandmothers’ clothes. Why are you playing with your marriage? Love is not about looks – we know. But looks enhance love and marriage. There is a difference between someone disfiguring herself and the person being disfigured by an accident. Please don’t be complacent. As hard as it may be, work on looking like you were when he first saw you and began the chase.

9. If every night you are tired, sleepy, sore, down with headache or fever, “not in the mood,” you are a joker, a serious comedian!

10. If your children suddenly become more important to you than your husband, you need prayers.

11. If you assume that as the woman, only you need to be pampered and fussed over while the man is a stone that has no emotions, you need to be pitied.

12. A woman that has the mind of a wife does not excite her husband. Wives are usually complacent and presumptuous. A wife must strive to have the mind of a girlfriend. A girlfriend is always nicer, sweeter, more loving and always thinking of ways to wow her sweetheart; a girlfriend does not try to win all arguments, does not call the man a “useless man”, is not careless about her looks or dressing, always smiles and laughs with the man, sends the man sweet messages and calls, etc. Are you your husband’s girlfriend in word and in deed?

13. When you rely on your beauty, cookings, character, connections and bedroom performance alone to keep your man and your home intact without putting Almighty Allāh in the picture, you’ve missed it. Without Almighty Allāh, it cannot be GOOD. 

Put Allāh first in your home.

{To be continued In-sha-Allāh (If Allāh Wills)...}

"And keep reminding, because reminding benefits the believers." (Qur-ān 51:55)