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*Let's Change Our Mindsets About Marriage*
*Episode 156*
*"MY WIFE, I AM SORRY"*
He woke up in the morning and found her praying. He heard her praying for him.He stared at her. It has been a long time since he
has seen her praying. For the past few months, they have been arguing. Last night, they had a nasty fight.He went to the kitchen in a hurry to prepare himself breakfast.
These past days, she hasn't been cooking for him. Shock on him. He found breakfast already set at the table. He ate. He went back to the bedroom, to prepare for a shower. She left the shower. "Good morning. Have a blessed day" she said as she entered the bedroom and he left for the bathroom. After his shower, all dressed up for work; he found his wife at the kitchen, eating breakfast in peace. She was looking at some funny videos on her phone and giggling. He looked at her then walked out the door. The last look he had of her before he left was of her at peace.
That last look disturbed him. This is not how she should be. This is not how she has been. He has been hurting her, she has recently found out that he has been flirting with other women, he has cheated once and used money meant for their family on other women. She should be angry.Her peaceful demeanor disturbed him.
Evening came. He went home and met his peaceful wife again. She was cooking and laughing with their children. She had come from work two hours ago.The dinner was enjoyable. Good food, she having warm conversations with the children. He as the father felt left out. His wife and children seemed to be having fun despite him hurting them.
After dinner, as she washed the dishes and the children had gone to bed. He approached her.
"Are you OK?" he asked her.
"I am more than OK. I am blessed "She answered.
"Are you not mad at me? After all that I am doing and have done wrong?" he asked.
She placed the washed plate in the rack then looked at him and said, "I asked myself, what is the most important relationship in my
life? The one I have with you or the one with Allāh? And I realized it is the one with Allāh. I live for Allāh, not for you. Marrying you was a blessing but it is not all there is in life. Allāh has blessed me with life and I will not waste it crying because of the hurt you cause me to feel"
She picked up a dirty glass and began washing it. "I realized I had given you too much power... Yes, you are my husband, the closest human being in my life and the human being I love the most; but you are not Allāh. You have failed me but God never fails me. I will not let you ruin my joy, my peace and my progress. You break our marriage if you want to, but I will hold on to Allāh. And as I hold on to Allāh, I will be full of joy despite what you do" She said rinsing the glass.
She looked at him and continued, "When you hurt me and disrespected me, I realized I was acting out like a woman who has no Allāh. I got mad and hurled insults, I wanted to revenge and I allowed you to mess me day after day. My performance at work went down, I talked less to our children, I became bitter to the children, I felt sorry for myself, I developed ulcers. And then I realized, I have Allāh, I shouldn't act like someone with no relationship with Allāh. Why should I be hopeless yet Allāh is with me? I had focused so much on you that I forgot about Allāh. When you found me, I had Allāh. We dated and got married and I let everything be about you because I wanted to make our marriage work. Our marriage became the idol I worship instead of the blessing I have in Allāh. Our marriage is failing apart because of you but my relationship with Allāh is still intact"
She scrubbed the pot.
"You have chosen to abandon our marriage but that doesn't mean my whole world has collapsed. I will still continue being a good mother to our children. They will never say the problems between mom and dad, made mom a monster. You do as you please with other women, I will raise our children."
She looked at him and told him, "Do I hate you? No, it will be a lie to say I hate you. You are the man I married, the one I vowed to, the one I love"
Tears fell down her cheeks. She wiped them. "I can't just cancel all the years we have been together. The Qur-ān as well as the Bible asks us to love our enemies. If I am able to love my enemies, surely I can still love you despite all you have done. I am angry and disappointed, but I have taken my power back. I live for Allāh who has exceedingly blessed me, not for you and the pain you cause"
She wiped her wet hands, took the apron from her body and told him, "In my peace, I am planning on where the children and
I will move to. Since you have chosen to have an affair, you have shown clearly that you don't need us. So we will not make your life uncomfortable by forcing you to live with us. You need to be able to bring the woman you are cheating with to your own house. I am working on something. I came into this house in peace and I will leave in peace. You will not kill my smile and shine"
She walked to the bedroom. Minutes later. He followed her to the
bedroom. He found her peacefully asleep.He nudged her. He woke her up and said,
"Please don't go, don't move out. I will hurt you no more, I will cheat no more. I am not OK. I want the peace you have. I want to be the kind of husband you are as a wife."
Since that day, he has been a reformed man. No more affairs, no
more hurting her, no flirting with other women, or endless fights. She didn't move out. She and the children stayed. He submitted to Allāh and learned how to be a good husband, Love is powerful enough to humble the most proud ....... I don't know what you are experiencing this morning but my prayer is, may you enjoy over whatever you are going through and behold, God is going to rain everlasting peace and freedom upon your life...Amen.
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{To be continued In-sha-Allāh (If Allāh Wills)...}
"And keep reminding, because reminding benefits the believers." (Qur-ān 51:55)
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