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Let's Change Our Mindsets About Marriage* *Episode 49


*Let's Change Our Mindsets About Marriage*

*Episode 49*

*THE ONLY THING THAT DOESN'T HAVE A MATCH IN MARRIAGE IS "PATIENCE." IF YOU POSSESS IT, YOU WILL GO ALL THROUGH SUCCESSFULLY*

Both husband and wife have to be patient and put up with one another, because everyone makes mistakes, and the one with whom you have to be most patient is the one with whom you live and interacts with most. Neither party should resort to tit-for-tat reactions. If one spouse sees that the other is very angry, he or she should restrain his or her own anger, and not respond immediately.

For this reason Abul-Darda said to his wife: If you see me angry, calm me down, and if I see you angry, I will calm you down, otherwise it will be too difficult to live together.

Imām Ahmad (may Allaah have mercy on him) married Abbaasah bint al-Mufaddal, and he used to say of her: "Umm Saalih lived with me for twenty years, and we never argued over the slightest thing."

One of the most important rights/duties is that each spouse should advise and remind the other to obey Allaah. It is reported in a saheeh hadeeth that a group of the Sahaabah asked the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him): "Teach us which kind of wealth is best, so that we may try to acquire it?" He said: "The best is a remembering tongue (one that remembers Allaah), a grateful heart and a believing wife who helps ones faith." (Reported by Ahmad, 5/278; al-Tirmidhi, 3039; Saheeh al-Jaami, 5231).

A man should not make his wife angry if he sees in her something that he dislikes, because if he dislikes one of her characteristics, he will like another, so he should balance the two. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "No believing man should hate a believing woman: if he dislikes one of her characteristics, he will like another." (Reported by Muslim, 36)


*{To be continued In-sha-Allāh (If Allāh Wills)...}*


*"And keep reminding, because reminding benefits the believers."* (Qur-ān 51:55)

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