A Message 4 You* [[--- Part 22 ---]]

 *A Message 4 You*

[[--- Part 22 ---]]
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بسم الله الرحمان الرجيم

Brother, look at your marriage. Look at your wife.

Many of us treat our wife like a stranger we do not like. We look at her mistakes. We remember what she does wrong. We forget her good things. We forget her good side.

But look at the Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him. He is the best of creation. Yet, he experienced troubles in his home. His wives sometimes disagreed and it hurt him to the extent that he stayed away from his house for 29 days. His close companions also had troubles in their marriages.

Think about this.

If the best men, married to the best women, had problems... who are we? How can we expect our wife to be perfect?

Allah (swt) allowed these to happen not because prophet's wives were bad wives. No! It happened to serve as a lesson for us, the husbands. Allah showed us that every marriage has tests.

My brother,

Your wife, whom you call a disappointment, is not 100% bad. Please, remember:

(1) She is the mother of your children. She made you a father.

(2) She cares for your home and your kids.

(3) She is a comfort to you inside your bedroom.

There is a wise saying: "The cow does not know the value of its tail until it is cut off." Do not wait to lose her to know her worth. If she is gone—by divorce or death (God forbid)—who will love your children like she does? Who will know your life like she does?

This reminds me,

Uncle Ibrahim had a good life. He had a wife, Aisha. She was not perfect. Sometimes she forgot things. Ibrahim looked at her small flaws like a flaw in a beautiful glass. He could not see Aisha's good side. He only saw the flaws.

He told himself, "This is a failure. I need a wife who is perfect."

He told Aisha to leave. She cried, but she left.

Uncle Ibrahim married again. Her name was Zulai whom he saw as a good wife material before marriage. She was different. Her voice was higher. She made his tea too sweet. She was worse than his first wife.

Uncle Ibrahim was angry. "Why can you not be more understanding? Why are you not like my first wife?" Zulai tried. But she could never be Aisha. Soon, Zulai left too.

Uncle Ibrahim married a third time. Zeenatu was younger, quieter. But she also had worse flaws.

Uncle Ibrahim's anger grew. It was a hot stone in his stomach. He shouted, "Can no woman understand a man? My first wife knew! You are all failures!"

Zeenatu looked at him with wide, frightened eyes. She saw a man made of anger and ghosts. One morning, she was gone.

Now Uncle Ibrahim lives alone. The frightening truth found him in the quiet house.

He pushed away the one person who truly knew him. He called her a failure, but the failure was his own eyes that only looked for flaws. He broke his first, good home. Now he lives in a cold, empty place.

The most frightening thing is not being alone. It is knowing you had love and threw it away. And you can never, ever get it back.