﷽
*Let's Change Our Mindsets About Marriage*
*Episode 88*
*INSPIRATIONAL TIPS TO STRENGTHEN YOUR MARRIAGE*
by Ramsha Altaf
Marriage is a beautiful relationship. It takes a lot of effort to serve this relationship. It just seems easy to get married and built together, in fact, it is way more difficult to do so. When you get into marriage, you are no more a single person.
Your decisions are no more only yours, you have a partner to share every single detail of your life with. The earlier you learn to share your life with your spouse, the stronger your bond gets with the passage of time. There are some things mentioned below, which should not be missed out if you wish to strengthen your marriage:
Respect:
The foremost essential for a healthy marriage is respect for your spouse. There are many marriages where one of the spouses is not financially stable or he does not have a family. But that does not mean that he deserves less respect than those who are wealthy or have a strong family background.
There should be equal respect for each other. Neither the man should think any less for his wife. She should not be treated like a slave who is there just for his comfort and luxuries. Mostly women are the ones who suffer disrespectful behaviour of their husbands. They are treated harshly and not given the respect they deserve. Our beloved Prophet said:
“Take my advice with regard to women. Act kindly towards women, for they were created from a rib, and the most crooked part of a rib is it’s uppermost. If you attempt to straighten; you will break it, and if you leave it alone it will remain crooked; so act kindly toward women.” [Al Bukhari and Muslims]
Care:
The emotion of being cared for is pleasant. Both persons should show care for each other. They both should be aware; if their partner is upset or going through a hard time. One should make sure they become a way of happiness in the other’s tough times.
They both should not only take care of each other in hard days but also stay aware of their needs all the time. It is the responsibility and the right of other of both people in a marriage to show the feeling of care for their partner.
Understanding:
There come many points in life when a person feels alone because he is not able to make people understand himself. That is the time when a person needs his partner the most. One should stand firm with his spouse when he feels low and understands whatever he is trying to say.
The key to understanding is not just for hard times but for normal days too. Both persons should be known to each other’s minds and thinking. If there are things between the partners that do not match then they should develop understanding and respect each other’s opinion rather than imposing yours.
Listen to your partner:
In this world, it is easier to talk than to listen. Listening is one of the biggest deficiencies most people have. When your partner is upset or feeling low, you should be the one listening to them.
They should feel the most comfortable with you when they want to share their personal matters with you that are troubling them. Sit and talk to whatever they are holding on to. Let them vent out. Relax them with your presence.
Give them your time:
One of the precious things that Allah has gifted to His people is time. Time is a state. It is a feeling. It carries so many memories, these memories could be bad and could be good 7. depending on how you spent it.
The one reason why time is so much important is that you can never bring it back. It is one of the costly things which cannot be bought or sold by money. Therefore, give your time to your partner. By spending time with your partner, you not only make them feel the richest person but also get to understand them more.
Eat with them:
Our Prophet always used to eat with his wife Khadija. Eating together increases the love and affection between both the partners. Sharing food increases the sense of care and responsibility. Nabi said:
“Eat together and not separately, for the blessing is associated with the company.”
[SUNAN IBN MAJAH]
Give Respect to each other’s families:
This is a very strong point which should be taken care of. Both the men and women, when sticks together through nikkah, not only sign the nikkah papers to get along with each other but they marry each other’s families as well.
Both the families are now bonded together through these two people. Show respect and care for each other’s family members and treat them as your own. This not only strengthens your relationship but also increases respect for each other.
Stay Patient:
Any relationship is strongly based upon how one controls themselves in anger when the other in an argument with the other person. Let us see this in the context of married life. It is believed that always the truth comes out in anger. Well, this might not be true in every case. Speaking of a healthy marriage, it is advised to stay patient in an argument. But we all know as we all are humans, the most difficult task is to stay quiet in a quarrel.
Therefore, if one of the partners is losing patience in argument then the other should stay calm and try to avoid any type of interaction with their spouse. This will gradually settle down the situation. If both the persons start to speak, it is going to create a mess and things will go the wrong direction. Allah’s last messenger said:
“When a husband and wife look at each other with love, Allah looks at them with mercy.”
[SAHIH BUKHARI]
*{To be continued In-sha-Allāh (If Allāh Wills)...}*
*"And keep reminding, because reminding benefits the believers."* (Qur-ān 51:55)
*Let's Change Our Mindsets About Marriage*
*Episode 88*
*INSPIRATIONAL TIPS TO STRENGTHEN YOUR MARRIAGE*
by Ramsha Altaf
Marriage is a beautiful relationship. It takes a lot of effort to serve this relationship. It just seems easy to get married and built together, in fact, it is way more difficult to do so. When you get into marriage, you are no more a single person.
Your decisions are no more only yours, you have a partner to share every single detail of your life with. The earlier you learn to share your life with your spouse, the stronger your bond gets with the passage of time. There are some things mentioned below, which should not be missed out if you wish to strengthen your marriage:
Respect:
The foremost essential for a healthy marriage is respect for your spouse. There are many marriages where one of the spouses is not financially stable or he does not have a family. But that does not mean that he deserves less respect than those who are wealthy or have a strong family background.
There should be equal respect for each other. Neither the man should think any less for his wife. She should not be treated like a slave who is there just for his comfort and luxuries. Mostly women are the ones who suffer disrespectful behaviour of their husbands. They are treated harshly and not given the respect they deserve. Our beloved Prophet said:
“Take my advice with regard to women. Act kindly towards women, for they were created from a rib, and the most crooked part of a rib is it’s uppermost. If you attempt to straighten; you will break it, and if you leave it alone it will remain crooked; so act kindly toward women.” [Al Bukhari and Muslims]
Care:
The emotion of being cared for is pleasant. Both persons should show care for each other. They both should be aware; if their partner is upset or going through a hard time. One should make sure they become a way of happiness in the other’s tough times.
They both should not only take care of each other in hard days but also stay aware of their needs all the time. It is the responsibility and the right of other of both people in a marriage to show the feeling of care for their partner.
Understanding:
There come many points in life when a person feels alone because he is not able to make people understand himself. That is the time when a person needs his partner the most. One should stand firm with his spouse when he feels low and understands whatever he is trying to say.
The key to understanding is not just for hard times but for normal days too. Both persons should be known to each other’s minds and thinking. If there are things between the partners that do not match then they should develop understanding and respect each other’s opinion rather than imposing yours.
Listen to your partner:
In this world, it is easier to talk than to listen. Listening is one of the biggest deficiencies most people have. When your partner is upset or feeling low, you should be the one listening to them.
They should feel the most comfortable with you when they want to share their personal matters with you that are troubling them. Sit and talk to whatever they are holding on to. Let them vent out. Relax them with your presence.
Give them your time:
One of the precious things that Allah has gifted to His people is time. Time is a state. It is a feeling. It carries so many memories, these memories could be bad and could be good 7. depending on how you spent it.
The one reason why time is so much important is that you can never bring it back. It is one of the costly things which cannot be bought or sold by money. Therefore, give your time to your partner. By spending time with your partner, you not only make them feel the richest person but also get to understand them more.
Eat with them:
Our Prophet always used to eat with his wife Khadija. Eating together increases the love and affection between both the partners. Sharing food increases the sense of care and responsibility. Nabi said:
“Eat together and not separately, for the blessing is associated with the company.”
[SUNAN IBN MAJAH]
Give Respect to each other’s families:
This is a very strong point which should be taken care of. Both the men and women, when sticks together through nikkah, not only sign the nikkah papers to get along with each other but they marry each other’s families as well.
Both the families are now bonded together through these two people. Show respect and care for each other’s family members and treat them as your own. This not only strengthens your relationship but also increases respect for each other.
Stay Patient:
Any relationship is strongly based upon how one controls themselves in anger when the other in an argument with the other person. Let us see this in the context of married life. It is believed that always the truth comes out in anger. Well, this might not be true in every case. Speaking of a healthy marriage, it is advised to stay patient in an argument. But we all know as we all are humans, the most difficult task is to stay quiet in a quarrel.
Therefore, if one of the partners is losing patience in argument then the other should stay calm and try to avoid any type of interaction with their spouse. This will gradually settle down the situation. If both the persons start to speak, it is going to create a mess and things will go the wrong direction. Allah’s last messenger said:
“When a husband and wife look at each other with love, Allah looks at them with mercy.”
[SAHIH BUKHARI]
*{To be continued In-sha-Allāh (If Allāh Wills)...}*
*"And keep reminding, because reminding benefits the believers."* (Qur-ān 51:55)
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