Let's Change Our Mindsets About Marriage Episode 336. ﷽ The Muslim Woman And Her Husband

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*Let's Change Our Mindsets About Marriage*

*Episode 336*

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*The Muslim Woman And Her Husband*

(Part 5)

*5. She does not disclose his secrets*

 

The chaste Muslim woman does not disclose her husband’s secrets, and does not talk to 

anyone about whatever secrets and other matters there may be between him and her. The serious Muslim woman is above that; she would never sink to the level of such cheap and shameless talk as goes on amongst the lowest type of people. Her time is too precious to be wasted in such vulgar behaviour. She would never accept for herself to be counted as one of 

those people whom the Prophet described as one of the worst types: 

“Among the worst type of people in the sight of Allah (subhaanahu wa ‘ta’aalaa) on the Day of 

Judgment is a man who enjoys his wife’s intimate company, and she enjoys his intimate 

company, then one of them goes and discloses the secret of the other.”

 

Talking about that which is private between a husband and wife is one of the most abhorrent ways of disclosing secrets. No one does such a thing but the worst type of people. There are 

some secrets the disclosure of which is not as bad as disclosing this secret, but in any case, 

telling secrets at all is disliked and is unacceptable. Keeping secrets in itself is a worthy and virtuous deed, whilst disclosing them is a serious error and shortcoming, from which nobody can be immune except the infallible Prophet . The disclosure of a secret that the Prophet had entrusted to Hafsah, who told it to ‘A’ishah, led to the plotting and intrigue in his household that caused him to keep away from his wives for a whole month, because he was so upset with them. Concerning this, the following ayah was revealed:

 

(When the Prophet disclosed a matter of confidence to one of his consorts, and she 

then divulged it [to another], and Allah made it known to him, he confirmed part thereof 

and repudiated a part. Then when he told her thereof, she said, ‘Who told you this?’ He 

said, ‘He told me Who knows and is well-acquainted [with all things].) (Qur’aan 66:3) 

 

The two women concerned are then confronted with their error, and called to repent, so that they might draw closer to Allah (subhaanahu wa ‘ta’aalaa) after having distanced themselves by their deed, otherwise Allah would be his (the Prophet’s) Protector, and Jibril and the righteous believers would also support him: 

( If you two turn in repentance to Him, your hearts are indeed so inclined; but if you 

back up each other against him, truly Allah is his Protector, and Gabriel, and [every] 

righteous one among those who believe - and furthermore, the angels - will back [him] 

up.) (Qur’aan 66:4) 

Then they are issued with a stern warning and the terrifying prospect that if they persist in 

their error, they may lose the honour of being the wives of the Prophet: 

( It may be, if he divorced you [all], that Allah will give him in exchange Consorts better 

than you - who submit [their wills], who believe, who are devout, who turn to Allah in 

repentance, who worship [in humility], who travel [for Faith] and fast - previously married or virgins.) (Qur’aan 66:5) 

This incident presents a valuable lesson to the Muslim woman on the importance of keeping 

her husband’s secret, and the effect this confidentiality has on the stability of the individual and the home. One of the greatest blessings that Allah (subhaanahu wa ‘ta’aalaa) has bestowed on the Muslims in particular, and on mankind in general, is that he has made the public and private life of His Messenger like an open book, in which can be read the 

teachings of this ‘aqeedah and its practical application in real life. Nothing is secret or hidden: 

matters and events that people usually keep secret are discussed openly in the Qur’aan and Sunnah, even unavoidable human weaknesses. All of these issues are presented in order to 

teach people right from wrong. 

The Sahaabah, may Allah (subhaanahu wa ‘ta’aalaa) be pleased with them, understood that the Prophet’s life was entirely devoted to Allah (subhaanahu wa ‘ta’aalaa) and His message, so why should they keep secret or conceal any aspect of his life? The stories that have been narrated about his life, his household and his wives represent a practical application of the words he preached, and for this reason, the Sahaabah (may Allah reward them with all good) transmitted the most precise details of his life, and did not fail to record any aspect of his daily life, whether it was major or minor. This is part of the way in which Allah (subhaanahu wa ‘ta’aalaa) caused the life of his Prophet to be recorded, including details of the precise way in which Islamic teachings were applied in his life. This is in addition to the Qur’aanic references to the Prophet’s life, which form a record that will remain until heaven and earth pass away.