ABUSE (A short story)
PART ONE
Anat, 28. Tall, beautiful. The 4th of five children and the first daughter.
A graduate of Home Economics. Married Abdul-Hafeez Oriire 6 years ago.
After Anat accepted AbdulAfeez's proposal, they had some discussions around their future. He told her his dad died 20 years ago when the last child of their family who was now 27 was just 7 years old.
His mom raised the 5 of them, all boys single handedly. AbdulAfeez was the 4th out of five. And presently, the first 3, Abdulateef, Abdul-Hakeem and Abdulazeez were not in the country. They were married and working in the diaspora. AbdulAfeez who was the 4th decided not to leave his mom like his older siblings did. He decided to stay with his mom after marriage. This he told Anat who agreed to live with him in his mother's house.
Anat had also lost her dad. Her mom too had been single handedly raising her five children since the demise of her husband. So, Anat understood what it was like for a woman to be lonely with no husband or children which was why she agreed to live with AbdulAfeez in his momma's house, in order to make AbdulAfeez's mom happy and also keep her company so that she would not be lonely. Her last child AbdulKabir was living with her but only came home during weekends as he worked far away from home.
After marriage, Anat moved in with her mother-in-law. The woman was a businesswoman who had a big store in front of her house where she sold provisions in wholesale and retail.
Before marriage, Anat and AbdulAfeez didn't have a discussion about whether she would work or not. Then after marriage, AbdulAfeez's mom begged the couple to allow Anat to assist her in the shop which Anat agreed. She was ready to do anything to make her husband and mother-in-law happy. She knew how big her store was and how it was difficult for her to manage the store alone, hence, her agreement not to work outside of the home but to assist her mom-in-law with the shop at no charge.
After morning prayer, she would do the chores which included washing of her clothes, her husband's and that of her mother-in law's clothes. Part of the wedding gifts she received was a washing machine which eased her task. But she washed her mother-in-law's clothes with her hands because mama said her clothes would fade if washed with a machine. She does the cooking simultaneously with washing.
After the inner house chores, she would resume at the shop. She helped with sales which was hard work because her mother-in-law's shop always had a lineup of customers everyday just like in a banking hall. She would attend to customers on her feet till her feet were swollen. She did this with satisfaction and mindset that she was helping her husband build a fantastic relationship with his mom, and of course, helping his Jannah.
At the time Anat married AbdulAfeez, he was working as a secondary school teacher with meagre salary. So, the couple mostly survived on the mother-in-law and the goodies AbdulAfeez's siblings sent from abroad.
Anat got pregnant the third month after their wedding. The first trimester wasn't so easy but she got better after the first trimester. During her first trimester that she was sickly and couldn't do much of house chores, her mother-in-law employed someone to do the washing of her clothes. But as soon as Anat got better after the first trimester, the person stopped coming and Anat resumed washing her mother-in-law's clothes with her hands amongst other responsibilities.
She never complained to her husband even though the woakload was much on her head. She continued striving to make her husband happy.
Anat delivered a baby boy after nine months of pregnancy. Families and friends came to felicitate with her. The new boy was named Abdullah. Her mother came around to help her to nurse her baby. Her mom was of tremendous help. She would bathe the baby, rock him to sleep and do the chores.
Anat's mom spent one month with her after the birth of her baby. After a month, her mom left and Anat for the first time after giving birth, experienced the tediousness of motherhood. When her mother was around, she does nothing except to feed the baby and sleep. Her mom did everything for her which relieved her of the burden of her new motherhood journey.
After her mom had left, the duty of bathing her baby rested on her head. She'd always watched her mom do it. So, she adjusted without much hassle.
After bathing for the baby, she would strap him to her back and do the chores. After the chores, she would resume at the shop. Her mother-in-law had no time to bathe for the baby as she resumed at the shop immediately after morning prayer.
Anat adjusted well. She resumed her chores when her baby was a month without complaint.
Life went on until she got pregnant again when Abdullah was 9 months. She cried. She was overwhelmed. She envisaged a more difficult life with another pregnancy with a baby at hand. For the first time after her marriage, she told her husband she wanted a space of her own. She told him her workload would be minimal if she lived alone. She wouldn't have to worry about minding the shop, cleaning a big house and washing Mama's clothes with her hands. All that would be left for her would be her own clothes and her husband's and baby's which she could wash with the machine.
She would have control of how she would spend her time without any pressure of meeting deadlines, serving a third party and being overburdened.
AbdulAfeez begged her to hang on. He begged her to understand that his mom needed people around. He begged her to be considerate. She cried and said no. She couldn't cope any longer with the workload and another pregnancy. She told him she would run away if he wasn't ready to help her.
After some thought, he decided to talk to his mother about hiring someone that would do the chores and wash Mama's clothes. He went to meet his mother that evening and had a discussion with her.
"Momsy." AbdulAfeez started. "Anat is pregnant again." He announced softly.
"That's good news. Congratulations." Mama said indifferently.
"Thanks ma. With her present condition, I don't think she can continue with the chores. You know she also has a nine months old baby to care for……."
"Did she complain to you?"
"Errrmmm." AbdulAfeez scratched his head, while stuttering.
"Answer me now. Did she complain to you that she can't continue with the house chores?" Mama snapped.
"No ma, she didn't. I just feel she'll be overwhelmed with house chores, a baby and pregnancy." AbdulAfeez replied.
"It's no big deal. In fact, I think she took after me. Abdulateef was just 3 months when I became pregnant with AbdulHakeem. My mother-in-law runs a canteen then. With pregnancy, I would fetch 10 drums of water for cooking everyday. I would axe the firewood with pregnancy and do other chores. I dared not complain. Children nowadays are too lazy. Pregnancy does not stop you from doing house chores. Doing strenuous chores does not affect pregnancy. In fact, she'll become more stronger and the baby too would be stronger. Let her continue the chores, it's good for her condition." Mama said.
"Okay, if you say so." AbdulAfeez said and walked out of the shop.
AbdulAfeez got back in and told his wife to manage. He told her to always eat well in order to have enough strength for the work. He told her the work would make her stronger and the baby too stronger.
Anat cried bitterly. She knew she was in trouble. She knew she was trapped. She had no voice and no freedom. No matter how much she begged her husband to give her own space to her, he continued to tell her that he couldn't leave his mom to live alone.
She couldn't tell anyone what she was going through. Not even her mom. She doesn't want to make her worry. She bore her pain alone. Despite being with a physical child and abstract one, she wasn't spared of the rigorous chores which had become her daily routine.
She continued to scream silently. Her silence was deafening yet she wasn't heard. Eight months into her pregnancy, she lost her mom in a ghastly motor accident. She wept inconsolably. The only person who stood as a rock for her was gone. That same month, due to the trauma her mother's death had caused her, she birthed her second son at eight months of pregnancy.
The vacuum of her mother's loss became more evident with the arrival of her son. She never felt the stress of motherhood for a whole month when she had her first child because her mom was there for her. But now, she carried her burden all alone. Her mother-in-law helped her with bathing the baby for 3 days. After which she told her she wasn't a first time mom so she should have gotten accustomed to bathing a new baby.
Anat accepted her fate. She cared for her babies together with doing the chores and minding the shop. The workload weighed her down especially with the stress of having a new baby, coupled with the death of her mom which she hadn't gotten over. She slipped into post natal depression.
She couldn't complain because she won't be heard. Her husband was of no help. He usually left for work by 6:50am and returned by 6:30pm, exhausted. She couldn't complain to him that she was losing it. He didn't notice her silent cry either. All he saw was a strong woman who was juggling motherhood, house management, shop management and wife duties so well.
When their second son was a year old, AbdulAfeez came home with good news. He secured a job with Airtel communications and was posted to a branch in Abeokuta. Anat's joy knew no bound. She could smell the fragrance of freedom. She could see victory closeby. She thanked Allah as an indescribable feeling of excitement engulfed her.
Now, she could move with her husband to Abeokuta and say goodbye to a life of captivity. She had started packing before her husband gave her a shocker.
That night, she made a delicious dinner and brought her husband's food to the room. He met him standing with arms akimbo. Probably surprised at the bags his wife had packed. Anat stood with the tray of food still on her hands.
"Don't be surprised that I have started packing. I can't wait at all. Finally!" Anat said and was about to put the tray of food she was carrying on a stool when her husband hissed and gave her bad news.
He told her he wasn't taking her and the children to Abeokuta. She would still remain with mama while he would be visiting them during weekends.
Anat's mood changed immediately upon the bad news. She held the tray of food on her hand like a statue. The cheerful face she was wearing creased into a frown. She burst into tears.
"Don't do this to me AbdulAfeez please!" She begged amidst tears.
"Please don't make it seem like I'm being unfair to you. I told you right from time that I can't leave my mom on her own. All my siblings are not around. It would be stupid of me to also leave her alone all by herself." He said with a straight face.
"This is not fair. We can hire a live-in-maid for Mama and she'll be just fine." Anat said pleadingly while her husband shook his head.
"No, a maid can never be like family. Please don't bother me further on this issue. I have told you about my decision. You'll stay here and I'll be visiting every weekend. That's all."
"Please try to consider me as well. I need my own space don't you get it?"
"Are you telling me that my mother's house is not enough as a space for you? You have a whole room to yourself. Your children have a room of their own. You have access to everything in this house. You have absolute right to the kitchen and everything therein. What else do you want? You will stay in this house and nothing more."
"Now I see."
"What did you see?"
"I can see that I married a momma's boy who has no control over his own affairs. I can see that I have married a momma's puppet who can't make a reasonable decision…….." Anat was saying when AbdulAfeez angrily slammed the tray of food she was carrying on her face and walked out of the room with a hiss.
Her body was drenched in soup. She felt a burning sensation in her eyes as pepper entered into her eyes. She rushed blindly to the bathroom. She washed her face with water and soap for some minutes before she was able to open her eyes. She blinked her eyes in pain as the burning sensation was still felt. Her eyes and face were red.
She walked back into the room, threw herself on the bed and cried bitterly. She couldn't fathom what just happened to her. Her husband had never been violent. He could get angry at anything that goes against his mom but he was never violent.
At this juncture, Anat felt like taking her two sons and fleeing, but where to. She'd always been a housewife with no financial compensation so she had zero naira in her account. She was an orphan so she had no parents to run to. Her older siblings were no option because they were men. They might not understand the plight of a woman.
She cried herself to bed. Her husband didn't sleep in the room that night. The atmosphere in their home was tense as Anat maintained her lane while AbdulAfeez too was angry.
The unhealthy relationship went on for a week. Then he was going to resume his new work in Abeokuta. He finally realized his brutality towards her and later apologized.
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have poured soup onto your face. Please forgive me……
"I can never forgive you AbdulAfeez. I will never forgive you until you set me free from this bondage. You're a wicked and insensitive man. I have been going through hell in this house since day one but you're too blind to see. I also love to help you in preserving your Jannah but living with your mom is hell, don't you understand?" Anat screamed.
"I'm so sorry. I know I have hurt you. I'm sorry please forgive me. I know my mom is a handful but please continue to bear with her for my sake. I love you Anat. Please assist me. You know my siblings are not here. I also can't leave her alone in this house. She'll die of loneliness. Please my darling. Help me." He pleaded while Anat gave a shrugging smile.
"I can't continue to help you. I'm sorry. Hire a maid for her. If you can't do that then I'm through with this bondage of a marriage. I married you and not your mother. Why should I continue to live with your mother while you're no longer here. I can't and that's the final." She expressed bluntly and walked out.
AbdulAfeez pleaded with her sweetly. He begged her with everything. He persuaded her with a sugar coated mouth. He worked on her emotions. He pressed her mumu button. He offered to pay her a monthly allowance of 50k as his new job was one with a mouthwatering salary.
After a lot of persuasion, she agreed to continue living with Mama while her husband visited during weekends.
He kept to the promise of the 50k allowance which he paid her every month.
Two years later, the pain she experienced with Mama kept increasing. But now that she'd been receiving monthly allowance from her husband, she usually sent money on errand for somethings she felt she couldn't do by herself. Mama wanted her to be washing her clothes but she hired a worker to do that. Mama nagged and complained but she ignored her.
Life went on, she birthed her third child who was also a boy. Her first two children were enrolled in a school. Then she decided to do something about her life as well. Since her two older children had now started school, she enrolled herself in a fashion school where she learned fashion designing for 6 months. She graduated and bought necessary tailoring tools to establish a fashion business. And she was doing well.
During school breaks, she would tell her husband that she wanted to visit him since the children were on holiday but he would refuse with the same excuse that Mama shouldn't be left alone.
There was a time when Mama's sister was around. That time coincided with the children's holiday. Anat made use of that opportunity to visit her husband in Abeokuta. They hadn't spent a week when mama started disturbing AbdulAfeez with calls to send them back because her sister had left. They went back after spending only four days. And that was the only time they had the opportunity to visit AbdulAfeez in over 2 years that he'd been working in Abeokuta.
Anat was fed up. She'd had it up to the throat. She cried to bed most of the time because she couldn't understand the kind of mess she was into. She couldn't stop wondering how a son would still be tied so much to the apron of his mom at the detriment of his wife's happiness. She was tired, she was ready to run away. At this time, she'd saved over a million naira from her monthly allowance.
One day, she called one of her friends who resided in Ikorodu area of Lagos to help her get an apartment. Her aim was not to quit the marriage. She just needed to go away from home if that would reset her husband's brain and prompt him into action of getting hold of his own life.
Anat made the call and told her friend her specification. Unknown to her, her mother-in-law was behind her door listening to her conversation.
That evening, she went to the shop to assist Mama with sales. Her mother-in-law started complaining of being broke. She complained that she needed to stock the shop with goods but she was broke. She complained that she'd reached out to all her children but they all were also broke at the moment. Mama continued complaining and lamenting of how she would lose all her customers if she wasn't able to restock. She said if she could get someone to borrow her the money, she would be grateful and pay back in three months time. Mama complained and was almost crying.
Anat was touched and really would have loved to borrow her from the money she had but that money was meant for her house rent.
When Anat didn't say anything about borrowing Mama money, mama turned to her.
"Anat please borrow me 2 million naira please. I'm very well aware that your husband gives you a monthly allowance of 50k. And I know you can borrow me from the money. Please borrow me. I promise to pay you back in 3 months time." Mama pleaded while Anat heaved a sigh.
"Mummy I don't have up to 2million ma."
"How much do you have? Anything you have just borrow me. I'll pay back soon." Mama pleaded over and over again.
The compassionate and empathetic Anat told Mama she only had a little over 800k as she'd spent most of her savings to procure varieties of sewing machines for her sewing business.
Mama told her she would manage the 800k plus but Anat told her she could only borrow her 800k as she would love to keep the remaining change for miscellaneous expenses.
Anat did a transfer of 800k to Mama. Mama thanked her.
"Thank you my dear. Please do not tell your husband that I borrowed money from you." Mama pleaded.
"I won't ma." Anat replied innocently.
Little did she know Mama didn't need money. She only wanted to prevent her from leaving the house. Mama knew she couldn't leave without having money to sustain herself, that was why she deployed the tactics of borrowing money from her.
Anat told her friend that she wouldn't need a house again as the money she intended for the rent had been spent on another thing.
Three months lapsed but Mama refused to pay Anat back. She came up with different excuses to defer the payment. Six months passed, yet mama didn't pay. Anat didn't stop asking. It got to a point that Mama started getting touchy whenever Anat asked her about the money. She would snap at her and ask her if it was her 800k she'd been feeding on since she married her son.
This went on till one day, on a Saturday. Anat had a function on the island. She was expecting her husband that Saturday. But one of her friends gave birth and that day was the aqeeqah. Her husband gave her permission to attend that they would meet in the house.
That Saturday evening, she came back and met her husband, his mom and her husband's youngest sibling in the shop. Mama was crying. Anat was scared at the condition she met Mama. She asked what was wrong but her husband grabbed her hand and took her outside of the shop.
"What is the problem?" Anat asked.
"Where is the 2million naira that you stole from my mother." AbdulAfeez asked her which left her confused.
"What are you talking about?" Anat asked, confusely bewildered.
"Exactly what I asked you. My mom is crying because her 2million naira is missing. You're the only one who assist her in the shop. And where she kept the money is a hidden place that an outsider cannot discover except an insider. Tell me where you put the money now and give it back before this matter escalates more than this." AbdulAfeez said while Anat opened her mouth in dismay.
She thought she was dreaming. AbdulAfeez snapped at her to jolt her out of her dream.
"Tell me where you put my mother's money!" AbdulAfeez screamed.
"Your mother's money? What money are you talking about?" Anat asked, still bewildered.
"Stop acting and tell me where the money is."
"What money are you talking about because I don't understand. I didn't take any money. I didn't even know she has any money hidden. I don't even know she has that much in the shop. Please don't accuse me of theft……." Anat was trying to say when Mama rushed out of the shop.
"Anat you're the only who who assists me in the shop. And you're the only one who knows where that money was kept. An outsider wouldn't have digged so hard. Please give back my money. Is it because I borrowed 800k from you? Is that why you stole a whooping sum of 2million from me? Please give me my money now before I call the police." Mama threatened.
At this juncture, AbdulAfeez and his brother tried to appease their mom. They were both surprised that there had been an exchange of hands between Mama and Anat.
"Mommy please calm down. Is what I heard true? Did you actually borrow money from Anat?" AbdulAfeez asked his mom.
"Yes I borrowed money from her." Mama replied while her two sons spoke in one voice.
"Wow, now I see!" Both AbdulAfeez and AbdulKabir chorused.
At this juncture, Anat had started crying profusely.
"What did you both see please? I didn't steal Mama's money at all. It's true she borrowed 800k from me and I've been asking her but she didn't pay back. In fact, I have decided not to ask again. Why would I steal her money behind her back?" Anat lamented and then turned to her mother-in-law.
"Mummy I don't know the money you're talking about. I didn't steal your money please believe me." Anat pleaded amidst tears.
"I can't believe you because you've been choking me about paying back your money. You should have just removed your 800k instead of stealing the whole 2million.
"Mummy I didn't steal your money. What kind of problem is this? I didn't steal your money believe me……"
"Shut your mouth you thief! I can never believe you. Give me my money now you thief!…….
To be continued in the concluding part.
ABUSE (A Short Story)
PART TWO
No matter how much Anat tried to explain that she didn't steal her mother-in-law's 2million naira, no one believed her.
Her husband who should have trusted her and stood for her didn't believe her as well. He told her he would have given her the benefit of doubt but since he learnt that she lent his mother some money, he couldn't believe her. He told her that he believed she must have taken the money as a payback for Mama's ingenuity.
Anat wept bitterly. She kept trying to explain herself but no one believed her. All evidence was pointing to her. She was the only one who assisted Mama in the shop. The money was kept in the store, a separate room that was attached to the shop. No customer had access to the store except the insiders.
Mama told them she still saw the money on Friday morning before she couldn't find it on Saturday. She also told them she had no visitors since Friday. So, the money wouldn't have developed a wing and flown away if not that someone took it.
AbdulAfeez tried to appease his mom. He begged her not to report to the police as she had threatened. He told her he would talk to Anat and her money would be retrieved. And if Anat had spent the money, he would refund the money from his own pocket.
That evening, Anat had almost cried her eyes out. She couldn't believe what just happened to her. She wished it was a dream but sadly, it wasn't. She was still sobbing when AbdulAfeez entered the bedroom.
He moved closer to her and sat beside her on the bed.
"Crying won't solve this problem. The only thing that'll solve this problem is for you to return mummy's money."
"AbdulAfeez you don't trust me?" Anat marveled amidst tears.
"I wanted to trust you but all evidence is pointing to you. Especially when I learnt you lent mummy a sum of 800k. Why didn't you tell me that you lent her that huge amount of money? Why should you resort to stealing from her in order to get your money back? Why?" AbdulAfeez bombarded her with questions.
"Firstly, mummy was the one who begged me not to tell you that I lent her some money. I don't know her reasons. Secondly, believe me when I say I didn't take Mama's money. I don't even know she has that much money in the store. Have I ever stolen from you people since I married into your family? Why should I now?"
"Well, the only reason that comes to my mind is that you are trying to retrieve your money."
"Subhana'llah! So you believed I stole the money?"
"Leave what I believe or what I do not believe for now. A huge amount of money is missing in this house where we have only four adults. You, mama, myself and AbdulKabir. Myself and AbdulKabir have not been home since last weekend. It was only you and Mama. And mama said she still saw the money yesterday morning. So, who could have taken the money? Is it my 5, 3, and 1 year old sons? Stop lying Anat. Bring the money wherever you're hiding it now. And if you've spent the money let me know so I will know how to refund my mother's money. Even to refund the money will be difficult now because I just pumped all my money into a business. Why are you doing this to me Anat, why?"
"It's so sad that my husband of all people does not trust me. I didn't steal Mama's money. How best am I supposed to say it before you believe me? The mama that I know may not have lost any money. This might just be one of her devilish plans to implicate me…….." Anat had not finished saying when a hot slap landed on her face.
"Are you calling my mother a devil and a liar? How dare you? I give you just one month to return that money. After a month and you refused to return the money, then I'll bundle you into the car and take you back to your family like a badly purchased good. I can't live with a thief." He said angrily and walked out of the room.
Anat held her cheek and cried bitterly. She had cried gallons of tears, yet she was still hurting. She couldn't believe AbdulAfeez could hit her. She couldn't believe he could join his family to accuse her of theft. The most painful was that he didn't trust her. If trust is lost in a marriage then the marriage is dead. Someone that couldn't fight for her when she was accused of theft would not blink an eye if she's accused of a heavier crime.
The following day was tense. Anat tried to explain herself again but her husband wasn't ready to listen. He wouldn't speak to her, neither would he respond to her speeches.
This went on till he returned to work the following morning which was Monday. Before he left on Monday morning, he sounded a warning to her to either return the money before or exactly a month to that time. He said that failure to return the money would be disastrous. He also informed her that he wouldn't be coming home until she'd returned the money. He went to work angrily and didn't come home as he'd threatened.
He wouldn't answer her calls, return them or reply to her messages. She'd cried so much that she'd become a shadow of herself. She couldn't find anyone to talk to. The problem was a weight on her chest and she was losing it. She slipped into depression. She wallowed in self pity and melancholy. Her husband was denying her access to him, mama too was making her life unbearable at home.
Every day, mama would shout at her. She would call her unprintable names. She would tell her that she would make her life a living hell until she returned her money. Mama told her that left to her, she would have reported her to the police but her son was the one holding him back, telling him to give him a month to get Anat to return the money.
When all roads seemed blocked, Anat turned to Allah in prayers. She prayed day and night in tears for Allah to reveal the truth before the one month ultimatum she was given lapsed.
She thought to herself that two things might have happened, it was either the money wasn't missing at all, probably Mama's plan to implicate her, or an outsider took the money. Whichever way,,she prayed fervently and ceaselessly to Allah to bring the truth to light.
Anat couldn't gain access to her husband. She wanted to visit him in Abeokuta but changed her mind at the second thought. The idea might be dangerous especially when he was still mad. She continued to pray to Allah to come to her aid.
One Wednesday afternoon, three days before the one month ultimatum Anat was given lapsed, she needed to stock the house with food stuff, so she went to the market. She returned from the market and entered into the house to open the gate for the taxi that brought her. As she bent down to open the gate, someone stood behind her. She turned back and saw her husband. She gasped in surprise. He was the last person she was expecting to see, especially on a Wednesday.
To her surprise, he wasn't wearing an angry face. His face was calm which made Anat wonder. Another gaze at his facial expression revealed remorsefulness.
He greeted her and told her he would open the gate. Anat was surprised. She stared at him like a statue. He opened the gate for the taxi to enter.
The taxi entered, Anat moved over and wanted to get the food stuff from the trunk, yet AbdulAfeez told her not to bother. He removed all the items from the trunk and took them inside the house. The astonished Anat stood still and watched in dismay like someone in a dreamland.
After the taxi had left, AbdulAfeez came out of the house and held Anat's hand gently. She released her hand swiftly from his hold. He held it again while she did the same thing.
"Please come to the shop." AbdulAfeez said to her with an affectionate gaze. She shrugged and rolled her eyes at him.
He walked to the shop while he reluctantly followed him.
Inside the shop were Mama, Mama's younger sister and AbdulKabir, Mama's last child. AbdulAfeez and Anat joined them, making five of them.
Anat greeted them and she was told to sit down.
Mama was the first to speak.
"Anat my wife, please forgive us." Mama started while Anat shrugged.
"Forgive you for what?" Anat asked with a frown.
"Forgive us for accusing you wrongly." Mama, AbdulAfeez and AbdulKabir chorused while Anat hissed loudly.
She got up and was about to walk out of the shop when AbdulAfeez quickly held onto her.
"Please darling, don't leave. Please hear us out." AbdulAfeez pleaded.
"Who's your darling?" She snapped while Mama's younger sister got up from her seat and held Anat's hand.
"Anat my child, your anger is very much justified. If you sue us all for wrong accusation and defamation of character, then it's worth it because we have wronged you so badly." Mama's younger sister expressed.
Anat's mouth let out a snigger. She shook her head before responding.
"I don't have an idea of what you're saying. What happened?" She asked impatiently with a clueless smirk.
There was an exchange of gaze among Mama, her children and sister. They all passed the baton to Mama's sister to speak. Mama's sister cleared her throat before speaking.
"Anat my child, we are very sorry. We don't mean to accuse you wrongly…….." Mama's sister was saying when Anat interrupted.
"Why are you saying we, we, you were not part of them? Why are you taking responsibility for what you didn't do? The people that accused me of theft were my mother-in-law and her two sons, of which my husband was unfortunately one of." Anat said with a frustrated scream.
Mama's sister patted Anat's shoulder to calm down before she continued speaking.
"My darling, I am using a first person plural pronoun because I am directly affected. It was my son who stole the 2million naira……"
"What?" Anat exclaimed.
"Yes." Mama's sister responded.
"How?" Anat queried, anxiously impatient.
Mama's sister explained that the previous evening, she received a message from her son who travelled to canada three weeks ago. In the message, her son, who was also Mama's nephew, told her to inform her sister that he took 2million naira from her shop. And that was the money he used to process his travelling papers. He informed his mom that he would return her sister's money when he made it in Canada.
Anat asked how that happened because Mama said she had no visitor before the money disappeared. Mama's sister replied that her son visited Mama on Friday. While they were discussing, mama went inside the house to visit the ladies. A customer walked in and demanded for a certain product. Mama's nephew checked everywhere in the shop and couldn't find it. He decided to check the store if he could find it.
In the process of checking everywhere for the product that the customer demanded, he found Mama's money where it was kept. To him, that was luck because he needed the money badly at that time. His eyes blinked with temptation. He couldn't resist the money. He'd been nursing an ambition to travel to Canada but money was debarring him. In fact, he visited his aunt that day to beg for some money from her. But before he could raise the issue of money, luck smiled on him and he found money lying unused in someone's shop.
He took the money and arranged the store neatly as if no one was there. Mama returned to the shop and their discussion continued.
Mama's nephew was able to get away with the money without Mama suspecting anything. The Saturday that she accused Anat of stealing her money, she had wanted to take part of the money when she found emptiness.
After the explanation, Anat shook her head before speaking.
"But mama said she didn't have any visitors before the money disappeared, why? Just so I can be accused without any doubt?" She asked and walked out on them all.
She ran into her bedroom and cried bitterly. She'd been treated badly and never given a chance to explain. She'd been distrusted and violated. She'd been physically, mentally and psychologically abused over something she knew nothing of. She cried loudly.
She'd been vindicated at last but after the vindication was when she felt the blow of the injustice meted on her more. She cried profusely with a runny nose.
Her husband walked into the room, a feeling of remorse was written all over him. He moved closer to her and wanted to touch her, she snapped at him.
"Don't you dare touch me!" She shouted.
"I'm so sorry." He apologized while Anat smirked.
"Sorry? Did you say you're sorry? Will your sorry redeem my dignity? Will your sorry undo the slap you gave me? Will your sorry rectify all the emotional and psychological stress and agony I have been through? Will your sorry undo everything that has happened?" She asked with a burning anger.
"I'm sorry." He repeated.
"You're not sorry. You're not sorry because you did what you did on purpose. Even if your mother didn't trust me, you as my husband should be able to trust me. But no, you left me all to myself the time I needed you most. You all joined hands to humiliate me and strip me of my honour. If your cousin didn't confess to his crime, I would have been labelled a thief for life. A name my parents didn't give me. I thank God for answering my prayers. I thank God for vindicating me."
"I'm sorry for not trusting you." AbdulAfeez pleaded calmly with remorse.
"And your inability to trust me will be your greatest misdoing. What's marriage without trust? Let me remind you about what you told me about a month ago, you said if I didn't return the money before or in a month's time, you'll bundle me into the car and return me to my family like a badly purchased good, right? Now before you and your family disgraces me more than you already have, I need to take an honourable exit out of this marriage." She said and started packing her things.
He grabbed her hands and begged her.
"Please don't leave me. I'm sorry for all I have done to you. I'm sorry for not trusting you, please do not leave me." He begged profusely while she pushed him away with all her might and continued packing.
____
Let's finish it tomorrow in shaa Allah
LATEEFAH ADEWUNMI JUMAH;LAJFINGERS
ABUSE (A Short Story)
PART THREE
Anat continued to pack while AbdulAfeez continued to beg non stop. He held her hands but she pushed him away. As she was packing, he was unpacking. This continued for some minutes before she shouted at him.
"What is the problem? Why are you unpacking my bags?"
"I am because I don't want you to leave. Please do not leave me." He begged.
"You don't want me to leave yet you treated me like a piece of trash. A healthy marriage is built on love, friendship, peace, harmony and most importantly, a foundation of trust. Why should I continue with a marriage without trust? I don't know the next thing you'll do to me. The events of the past few weeks have made me realize how weakling you are. If you can't trust me when an allegation of theft is levied against me, I'm sure you can never trust me if I'm being accused of zina. In this age where it is very easy to photoshop. You'll just believe without verifying and I'll be left shattered. AbdulAfeez, being married to you is a danger zone." Anat lamented while AbdulAfeez shook his head.
"No, that can never happen. I trust you and I know you'll never commit zina……"
"You! You that didn't believe me despite my tears and efforts to exonerate myself. What is the assurance that you'll trust me when a heavier accusation like zina is levied against me?" Anat asked while staring hard at him.
"Zina must be proved by testimony of four male Muslim eyewitnesses to the actual act of penetration. Or by a confession repeated four times and not retracted later. The offenders must have acted of their own free will." AbdulAfeez replied while Anat let out a brief sarcastic laughter.
"Can you see how you shot yourself in the foot?" She asked.
"What do you mean?" He asked, confused.
"You said zina must be proven by testimony of four witnesses to the actual act of penetration, which only means that four people must have witnessed the P go into the V, right?"
"Yes."
"Okay, and you also said there must be a four time, repeated and non retracted confession by the accused, right?"
"Yes."
"And the confession must not be made under duress, isn't it?"
"Yes."
"Can you now see that you're a bunch of knowledge without usage? Islam is a religion of fairness. Islam frowns at false accusations which is why all these rules are put in place. The same way you cannot accuse anyone of zina unless there are four Muslim witnesses who have seen the actual penetration is the same way you cannot accuse anyone of theft without witnesses. The theft itself has to be proven, either by the testimony of two qualified witnesses or by the confession of the thief twice. No one witnessed when the money was taken by me. And I, the accused did not for once confess to the crime, not to talk of confessing two times. You just accused me baselessly and you expect me to still continue with this marriage, never, it can't work." Anat said with a strong will while AbdulAfeez continued to beg her.
"I know I have betrayed you and I am very sorry. Please give me a second chance. Don't leave me please Anat." He pleaded with tears.
Anat watched as he cried like a baby. She'd never seen him so vulnerable and helpless. She wanted to act tough by ignoring him but she loved him. She couldn't bear to see him so devastated, yet she couldn't compromise her dignity, happiness, and comfort anymore.
She continued packing while AbdulAfeez wouldn't stop begging her with tears. She took another look at the grown man crying in front of her, a feeling of compassion engulfed her. She spoke while avoiding his pitiful, and mercy tempting face.
"What exactly do you want?" Anat asked, avoiding his gaze.
He responded sharply as if he'd been waiting for that response since forever.
"A second chance to love and trust you. That's all I'm asking for." He responded sharply.
Anat was silent. She had an inner deliberation with her heart before responding.
"Okay. I'll give you a second chance. But only on one condition."
"Thank you so much my sweetheart." He said and pulled her close to his chest.
She freed herself swiftly.
"Before you thank me, won't you ask for the condition? You need to ask because giving you a second chance will be dependent on you meeting my condition."
"What's the condition?" He asked while gulping his throat.
"All the problems we ever had in this marriage arises as a result of a third party. If we can just have our own space then there'll be no more problems. The only condition that'll make me give you a second chance is to take me out of this house. I need a lone space with my husband. I'm tired of a self imposed distance relationship. You're not living in the diaspora, why can't I live with you? Even couples who are separated by seas and mountains always make an effort to come together by all means. That's my condition." She stated and there was a long uncomfortable silence.
She had to tap him gently on the shoulder when it seemed he travelled into a trance.
"Please give me time to think about it." He replied.
"There's nothing to think about. Let me have your reply now, else I'm through."
"Anat, I have heard you. I'll start making preparation to get a bigger apartment in Abeokuta." He replied.
"When will that be?"
"Very soon. I'll be on the look out as soon as I get to Abeokuta next week."
"Before you get a bigger apartment, we can manage for now in your small apartment." She suggested with some impatience.
"That place is just a room, remember. We obviously can't manage in a room with three kids."
"It's not a room but a room with a kitchen and toilet. It is called a self contain. We can manage." She insisted.
"No, I want a bigger house. And again, we have to consider the children's school as well. Let us at least wait for vacation time before we move."
"That's true sha. But you can't blame me. I can't wait to be free."
"You talk as if you're in bondage." He said calmly.
"You can't understand wallahi. I'm the one wearing the shoes and I know exactly where it pinches."
"I'm sorry for all I have made you go through. Please forgive me." He apologized and scooped her into his embrace.
_____
The couple settled their differences. Mama and AbdulKabir also apologised to Anat for accusing her wrongly.
Things went back to normal. AbdulAfeez went back to work.
The kids were now on holiday but AbdulAfeez kept coming up with excuses of being unable to get an apartment.
School resumed again and Anat had no choice but to send the kids back to school. It was now 4 months since they had the relocation discussion yet AbdulAfeez had not gotten an apartment. At this juncture, Anat started to doubt his genuineness.
She continued to remind him. During his visits on weekends too, they would talk about it and he kept promising to get a house as soon as he saw one. Sometimes, they had heated arguments about the same issue and he kept saying the same thing, he would get an apartment as soon as he saw one.
Anat suspected a foul play but she continued to remind him.
One day, Mama's cousin who lived in the US came to Nigeria on vacation. She wanted to lodge in a hotel but Mama told her to come to her house.
Three days after the visitor arrived, she had some clothes to wash. She told mama about it and Mama asked Anat to wash for her.
Anat collected the clothes and was about to dip them into the machine when the visitor said the clothes should be hand washed. Anat shrugged. She dipped the clothes in a bowl and began to wash. She spent the next 45 minutes washing the clothes, after which she spread them on the line.
She removed the clothes after they were dried and took it to the visitor's room. The visitor thanked Anat and offered her 2 dollars as compensation. Anat declined the offer with a smile.
"You don't like dollars?" The visitor asked with a smile while Anat smiled and walked out.
That evening, Anat was already on her bed, ready to sleep when she heard a scream coming from the visitor's room. She rushed out. She got to the visitor's room and met her mother-in-law.
"What happened?" Anat asked, shuttling her gaze between her mother-in-law and the visitor.
Her mother-in-law turned to her and asked questions.
"Did you see dollars inside any of the clothes you helped my cousin to wash?" Mama asked Anat who gasped with surprise.
"No, I didn't see any dollars. I hand washed the clothes so I would have felt it if there was any money in the clothes." Anat replied while the visitor shook her head.
"I kept the money inside the pocket of this green skirt." She said while raising the green skirt she was referring to. "I kept the money inside this green skirt, I remember vividly. And I haven't brought out the money from the skirt. Please give me back my money. I promise to give part of it to you." The visitor said while Anat opened her mouth in dismay.
She wanted to speak but cry instead. Her mother-in-law turned to her and spoke.
"Anat did you take the money?" Mama asked but Anat couldn't respond. She continued crying.
"Young lady please stop crying and give me back my money. They asked you a simple question and you're shedding crocodile tears. No wonder you refused when I offered you 2 dollars. I didn't suspect that you might have stolen my money. I was wondering if you're a saint, but how wrong was I. Give me back my money. I understand that dollars can be tempting. I don't blame you for taking it but please give it back." The visitor shouted while mama appeased her.
"Please calm down. Anat is not a thief. My son's wife is not a thief, I trust her. She doesn't steal but dollars can be very tempting. Anat please we won't scold you too much. Where did you keep the money?" Mama asked and this time, Anat found her voice.
"This is the height. Mama you're accusing me of theft?" Anat asked, marveled.
"No I am not accusing you of theft but our guest can't find her money and you were the one who washed her clothes. I can never accuse you of theft after what happened the last time, I dare not. Maybe you took the money from her pocket and forgot to return it after washing." Mama said but Anat could not respond.
It was too much for her to bear.
They were still in the room when the visitor suddenly screamed again.
"Thank gracious, I have found the money." She said.
"Where did you find it?" Mama asked.
"Don't mind me. I found it at the bottom of my travel bag." The visitor uttered with a stupid smile while Mama scolded her.
"You're mad. Why didn't you search well before you raised a false alarm?" Mama scolded while Anat hissed and walked out.
Mama quickly ran after her. She caught up with her at the entrance of her room. She grabbed her hands and begged her profusely.
"Anat please I'm sorry. Don't mind that stupid woman. Please we're sorry. Don't tell your husband about what happened please." Mama begged.
"Even if I tell him, he can't do anything. He's such a fool who can't discern right from wrong. He's the greatest mistake of my life. But now I am ready to correct that mistake because he'll never meet me in this house." Anat said, released her hands from Mama's hold and walked into her room.
_______
The prophet (s.a.w) said: “Anyone who falsely accuses a believer, male or female, of what is not in him, on the Day he will be raised he will remain in ‘tinat khabal’ until he is released from it.” Someone asked: “What is tinat khabal?” He (s.a.w) said: “It is a kind of pus that is secreted from the sexual organs of prostitutes.”
"And follow not [O man, i.e. say not, or do not, or witness not] that of which you have no knowledge [e.g. one's saying: "I have seen," while in fact he has not seen, or "I have heard," while he has not heard]. Verily! The hearing, and the sight, and the heart, of each of those one will be questioned [by Allah]." Al-Israh verse 36.
"O believers, if an evildoer brings you any news, verify (it) so you do not harm people unknowingly, becoming regretful for what you have done." Al-Hujurat verse 6.
"O believers! Avoid many suspicions, (for) indeed, some suspicions are sinful. And do not spy, nor backbite one another. Would any of you like to eat the flesh of their dead brother? You would despise that! And fear Allah. Surely Allah is the Acceptor of Repentance, Most Merciful." Al-Hujurat verse 12.
ABUSE (A Short Story)
PART FOUR
Anat packed her things. She packed everything without remaining a pin, except the things she jointly owned with AbdulAfeez. Mama was begging her but she didn't budge.
Mama really tried to make her stay but Anat was bent on leaving. Enough is enough. She wanted her husband to do the needful and stop playing a momma's boy which wasn't doing his family any good.
She got a taxi to convey her stuff. They stopped over at the children's school to pick them. Thankfully, the kids had just finished the term examination. Though they'd not vacated, there was hardly any activity after exams.
She had nowhere in mind to go. She had only a friend, her very good childhood friend who lived in Ikorodu. She had gotten into the taxi before putting a call through to her friend when the taxi man asked for her destination. Her friend told her she could come and spend some time with her as her husband wasn't in the country at the moment. Her friend also agreed that she needed a break from the marriage. A break it was. Yes, a break and not a divorce. A break as a means to table her grievances to her husband and appeal to his conscience. But it turned out to be a costly break.
She got to her friends house. Her friend welcomed her with open arms. She narrated all that happened to her friend. Her friend Nafeesah, was well aware of her situation before now. Nafeesah sympathized and empathized with her. They were hopeful that the break would sow a good seed.
That night before going to bed, Anat held her phone close to her chest. She was expecting her husband's call which never came till she was finally taken away by sleep.
The next day, she expected his call from dawn to dusk which also never came. Her friend told her to relax that it was possible mama had not informed him of her exit. She agreed and waited till the next day.
The next day came and it was the same story. The fourth day came and it was the same story.
On the fifth day, Anat told her friend that she was scared because that was very unusual of AbdulAfeez. He would have called and begged her but that was the fifth day and he hadn't called. Even if mama didn't inform him of her exit, the weekend had passed already. He must have gone home for the weekend and why had he not called? Anat lamented to her friend who continued to raise her hope that her husband would call.
Exactly a week after she had left home, she told her friend that she was going to call her husband but her friend advised her against it.
"Don't sell yourself cheaply. You're trying to communicate to him with your absence, if you succumb to the temptation and give him a call first then what you're fighting for has been forfeited and defeated. Do not call him first. Don't worry, he'll call you and beg for forgiveness." Nafeesah assured.
A week passed. Two weeks passed, yet AbdulAfeez did not call. He didn't send a message either. Anat was beginning to be impatient. She was beginning to bite her finger in regret. Yet her friend continued to boost her hope that her husband would call and beg. Nafeesah continued to remind her of what she was trying to get by leaving her matrimony. If she gave up the fight now then her fight and message won't be acknowledged.
By the third week, Anat couldn't take it any longer. She told her friend that she was going to visit her matrimonial home. Her friend kicked against it.
"No you shouldn't. That'll be tantamount to begging to be accepted back while it should be the other way round. They're the ones that should come and beg you like a queen that you are. What I'll rather advise you to do is to visit your family and explain your predicament to them." Nafeesah advised.
Anat followed her friend's advice. She decided to visit the first child of her parents who lived in Ilorin. Her late parents had five of them, of which Anat was the fourth. She had three elder brothers and a younger sister. The first child of her parents was an only child for ten years. So, he was like a father to them all.
Anat travelled to Ilorin the following weekend with her children. She explained her predicament in tears to her brother. Her brother was amazed that she'd been going through that much without informing him or any of her siblings.
Her brother scolded her for taking such drastic action as leaving her matrimony without informing her family about her situation. Her brother told her not to worry that he would personally take up the case and try his best to reconcile the two lovers.
Anat's brother put a call through to AbdulAfeez several times but he didn't pick. He sent messages which he never acknowledged. He then took it upon himself to visit his house in Lagos.
Hassan, Anat's brother, travelled to Lagos all the way from Ilorin in order to rectify his sister's marriage. He met mama at home. He spoke at length with Mama about the issue and why AbdulAfeez hadn't called his wife for once. Mama told him it was a serious offence in their family for a woman to use her hands to pack her things from her matrimonial home without being chased out. Hassan was amazed at such a belief. He begged mama to talk to her son. Mama told him she had begged AbdulAfeez in futility. Mama advised Hassan to visit AbdulAfeez in Abeokuta to talk to him man to man.
Hassan appreciated Mama's goodwill. He drove from Lagos to Abeokuta to see AbdulAfeez in his office. AbdulAfeez formed busy throughout Hassan's visit. He stayed glued to the laptop in front of him while Hassan waited patiently in the reception. After six hours of waiting, he finally called Hassan into his office and told him he doesn't have much time because he was going for a meeting.
They talked briefly and Hassan asked why he had not called his wife to know where she had been.
"Did I send her out? Why should I call her?"
"Subhana'llah! Were you aware of the reason she had to leave?" Hassan asked.
"Whatever the reason might be, I don't care. If my wife cannot regard me enough to await my arrival before doing something stupid as leaving my house then she doesn't deserve to be my wife anymore."
"Subhana'llah! Let's try to settle this issue amicably. Do not let us give room for shaytan. Anat had her reasons. She wouldn't have done something like that without a tangible reason. She's only human who's clamouring for better treatment." Hassan explained.
"In summary, she's been mistreated, right? I don't know what she has told you but I am not ready to have any discussion about Anat right now…….." He was saying when the landline in his office rang.
He received the call and placed the receiver back.
"Egbon, I'm sorry I won't be able to continue with this discussion. I've been summoned for a meeting." AbdulAfeez informed.
"Alright. I'll wait for you."
"Please do not wait. I don't know how long the meeting would last." AbdulAfeez said, cleared his table and stood on his feet.
Hassan also got up. AbdulAfeez led the way out while Hassan followed. He didn't even look back at his brother-in-law or uttered a word of goodbye. Hassan shook his head and exited the building.
It was already late, Hassan couldn't return to Ilorin that day. He had to lodge in a hotel. The following day, he returned to Ilorin where Anat was already impatiently awaiting his arrival. She almost didn't allow him to rest before asking for how his journey went.
Hassan shook his head and told his sister that her husband was difficult. He asked Anat if there was any elder in his family he listened to.
Anat cried her eyes out. After she'd given herself a good cry, she answered her brother that AbdulAfeez respected his uncle a lot. Her brother advised her to visit AbdulAfeez's uncle in the company of his wife.
_______
On a Friday morning, Another journey of reconciliation was made to Lagos by Anat and her sister-in-law. AbdulAfeez uncle resided in Ikeja area of Lagos. Fortunately for them, they met the old man at home. Anat narrated all that happened to him in tears. The man had listening ears. He listened to Anat's explanations and cries. He consoled her. He didn't apportion any blame to her. He rather advised her not to seek redress after something had gotten out of hand in case of another time.
Uncle told her he would send for AbdulAfeez but that wouldn't be that day. He told Anat to come back on Sunday which was two days away. Anat and her sister-in-law thanked him and left his house.
They lodged in a hotel around that locality till Sunday. Very early on Sunday morning, they left the hotel for AbdulAfeez's uncle's house. They got to the house and the uncle told them he'd sent for AbdulAfeez and that he would join them soon.
They waited patiently for AbdulAfeez who didn't come until noon. He sauntered into his uncle's living room and his eyes turned to red immediately he sighted Anat. Uncle told him to sit down.
Uncle started by telling him that his wife had come for a reconciliation and that he should listen to her plea. He was enraged. He replied with eyes spitting fire.
"What reconciliation is she seeking after packing out of my house? I don't have anything to reconcile with her." AbdulAfeez said angrily while Anat and her sister-in-law were quiet.
"Calm down AbdulAfeez and listen to me. There's no marriage without challenges. No woman is perfect and no man is perfect. The most important thing is to be perfect for each other."
"No uncle, she's not perfect for me and I am not perfect for her. She even called me a fool. She said I was the greatest mistake of her life. A mistake is something you don't repeat. If I am a mistake in your life, why should we have anything together again?" He asked angrily.
"I'm sorry AbdulAfeez. That was something I said in a fit of anger. I didn't mean it please forgive me." Anat begged with witty eyes.
"No, a mistake should be corrected. I am a mistake in your life so let's correct that mistake by getting divorced." AbdulAfeez brought forth a shocker.
"No please AbdulAfeez. I am sorry for all I have done. Please uncle help me to beg him. I don't want to divorce him." Anat cried out.
"You children these days, you know you don't want to divorce your husband yet you pack your things out of the house and hibernate for one month." AbdulAfeez's uncle stated.
"I'm just trying to get him to listen to me. I'm just trying to be heard." Anat cried out again.
"Now that you packed out, has he listened to you? He has really heard you indeed, right? Packing out of your matrimonial home is never a way to get your spouse to listen to you. You should have just come to me and I would have tried my best to rectify the situation." AbdulAfeez uncle said and then turned to AbdulAfeez. "AbdulAfeez my son, your wife said she's sorry. Please forgive her."
"Uncle I respect you a lot wallahi. If not, I would have turned back immediately I got here and saw this woman. I am through with this marriage and I am not joking. What this woman is asking for is something I can never give to her. Ask her if we didn't discuss it before our marriage. I told her in clear terms that I'm going to live with my mother. I have my reasons which I told her and she agreed. A day will never pass by without Anat threatening to leave me if I didn't get her own apartment for her. She threatened me everyday. I'm tired of her nagging. I tried to dodge her request because I wasn't going to dance to her tune but she's been giving me fire and brimstone. Uncle, Anat's iddah started the very day she left my house. Let her complete the remaining wherever she has started it. I am through." AbdulAfeez said with a scream while Anat quickly got up from where she was sitting and held onto him.
"Please AbdulAfeez don't do this to me. Please don't divorce me. I still love you. Please forgive me. I never wanted to leave you but all I wanted was to be heard. Please forgive me. I am ready to live with your mom forever. Please don't desert me now AbdulAfeez."
"It's too late. You were the one that called for a divorce the very day you packed out of your matrimonial home. I am done with you. Uncle please I need to go. I have a very important appointment I must catch up with." He said and got up to leave while Anat quickly held onto his leg.
Anat's sister-in-law who had been quiet all the while joined the conversation.
"AbdulAfeez please calm down. No woman will pack out of her matrimonial home if there wasn't any problem. The problem is what we should try and address instead of being unnecessarily stubborn." Sister-in-law said while AbdulAfeez flared up again.
"Uncle can you hear that, it is me that is stubborn, right? These people clearly do not come for any reconciliation, they came to foment trouble." AbdulAfeez said while sister-in-law replied to him.
"We didn't come to foment trouble, not at all. You're the one that should try and be calm so that we can reach an agreement. All we want is for the root of the problem to be treated. You're trying to avoid that discussion and it's not fair. No woman will leave her marriage if all was well. You kept denying the fact that this woman was abused by you and your family. You kept saying she packed out, she packed out, did she pack out for no reason? Would she have packed out if she wasn't abused?" Sister-in-law asked with a straight face.
"What's your definition of abuse, if I may ask?" AbdulAfeez asked.
"She was accused wrongly of theft twice………." Sister-in-law was saying when AbdulAfeez interrupted.
"Fear Allah now. No one accused Anat of theft. She was just asked if she didn't take the money on the two occasions which wasn't too much, considering the fact that she was directly involved in the two cases. Uncle please I'm leaving. I'm not ready to banter words with these people." AbdulAfeez said and made to leave but Anat grabbed his leg again.
"Please don't leave me AbdulAfeez. Don't leave me please forgive me. I will never disturb you about having my own space again. I am ready to put up with your mother's behaviour………"
"Uncle can you hear her?" AbdulAfeez interrupted sharply. "Can you hear the woman you're begging me to take back? She said she's ready to put up with my mother's behaviour as if my mother is a monster. I don't need you to put up with my mother's behaviour again. There are many good sisters out there who are ready to stay put under a man, who will treat their mother-in-law's like goddesses without an iota of disrespect."
"AbdulAfeez I have been doing just that. I have been treating your mother nothing short of a goddess. Please don't do this to me." Anat begged.
"Stop crying as if I am unfair to you. You were the one who used your own hands to pack your things out of my house. I didn't kick you out. Any woman who packs out of my house can never enter again. You pack out of my house, you pack out of my life. It's as simple as that." AbdulAfeez remained obstinate.
"Please AbdulAfeez don't do this to me. Where do you want me to go with three children?" Anat cried out.
"Didn't you think about that before you decided to be woke? Anyway, I have freed you from this marriage. You've always referred to living with my mother as hell, so I free you from the hell which never was but one you created for yourself." AbdulAfeez said and flung her hands away.
He was walking out but Anat grabbed his legs again. He pushed her away and ran out.
She surged forward and ran after him. Her sister-in-law tried to hold her but she slipped from her hold. Before she could get to where his car was parked, he was zooming out already. She ran back to his uncle's house and begged him to speak to his nephew. Uncle shook his head before speaking.
"Don't worry, I'll continue to talk to him. Everything will be settled by God's grace. Who divorces a woman in this manner? Don't worry, go home. I'll talk to him."
"I don't want to go home sir. Please let me stay here." Anat begged.
"Ha, no you can't stay here. Don't worry, I'll personally go to his mother's house next weekend to talk to him. He'll listen to me. I am the only fatherly figure he has left. He dare not disobey me. Please go home. I'll call you next weekend to give you positive feedback." Uncle said while Anat thanked him and left with her sister-in-law.
Sister-in-law was just shaking her head for Anat's naivety. Who holds onto wreckage if not a naive person? AbdulAfeez clearly doesn't deserve her, her sister-in-law thought but she continued to console the crying Anat that all would be well. They returned to Ilorin that Sunday and awaited positive feedback from AbdulAfeez uncle.
That was the last Anat heard from uncle. She would call him but he wouldn't pick. She visited him severally but he was always said to have gone out.
Anat's siblings tried different reconciliation methods but AbdulAfeez said he was done. He kept saying on repeat that her iddah started the day she packed out and that she should go and complete the remaining months.
Highly respected Islamic clerics intervened from both sides to no avail. AbdulAfeez said he was done. Anat visited his Abeokuta residence to beg him but was told he had moved out. She returned to Ilorin dejected. She continued sending people to beg him to no avail.
She cried and wailed. She asked a series of questions to which no one had an answer for. She fed with her own tears, morning afternoon and night. She looked back at the days, the weeks, the months and the years she spent with AbdulAfeez and his family, all were memories of sacrifice. She lived less well so that AbdulAfeez and his family could live much better. She sank herself into a shell just to please her husband. She held onto bitterness everyday just so AbdulAfeez and his family could experience happiness. She didn't know where and how she went wrong.
The day that made it three months that she packed out of the house, AbdulAfeez sent her a message that goes thus: 'Today marks the end of your iddah. You can have custody of Abdurrahman and Ahmad while I take Abdullah. Abdullah can keep my mother's company pending the time I would get another wife. Can you see that I am nice not to have taken the three kids from you? I don't want you to die. You should be thanking me. I'll open an account for them and be dropping alimony every month.'
She cried again upon reading the message. She showed it to her family. She showed it to the clerics who intervened in their matter. They told her since he wasn't ready for reconciliation, and with the confirmation of the divorce he had sent to her, that was really what he wanted and that the marriage was over. They urged Anat to take heart and accept her fate.
The days that followed were filled with indescribable sadness. She wallowed in dejection. She soaked her heart in self blame. She wished she had done things differently. She blamed herself for her present predicament. She cried amidst hot lamentation.
Her family and friends rallied around her. They told her it wasn't her fault. They told her to stop beating herself up.
She remained in her brother's house. They gave succour and warmth but despite that she wasn't finding post divorce life easy. She cried everyday. She ditched her meals. She experienced mood swings. Sometimes she would speak to her family and other times she would lock up in her room. It got to a time her family had to seize the key of her room. May we not be unfortunate. What if she harmed herself. She couldn't lock up again, so they were able to check up on her from time to time.
One day, she was crying non stop as usual. This time, AbdulAfeez had taken Abdullah from her, remaining her youngest kids, Abdurahman and Ahmad. Abdurahman went to call his uncle and his wife that her mom had been crying non stop. The duo rushed in and met her crying truly.
They moved closer to her on the bed. Her brother's wife hugged her and spoke calmly to her.
"Sis, you don't need this. You won't heal if you continue to hold onto debris. I know it's hard but please try to have your life back." Her sister-in-law placated.
"No big sis, I don't have a life without AbdulAfeez." Anat replied with tears.
"No my dear. You had a life before you met AbdulAfeez and you'll continue to have a life now that he's left you. Marriage has never been a woman's life. Marriage is rather part of it. When a part of the body experiences decay, the doctor will not give the patient an option of death, they'll give him an option of amputation so that the rest of the body can experience ease. You can't die because marriage being a part of your life has experienced a decay. No, that decay has been corrected by a divorce and now the rest of your life can experience ease. Please let go now and put your trust in Allah. He'll do the best for you." Her sister-in-law comforted.
"Big sis." Anat called out.
"Yes dear."
"Can't we go and beg him again?" Anat asked anxiously.
"Darling, you don't beg to be in people's lives. AbdulAfeez has divorced you. And even if he takes you back, come on, he won't treat you any better. It's going to be another phase of hell because he clearly said that you can't have freedom except to continue living with his mom which wouldn't have been a problem if the experience was good. But the experience wasn't palatable. You were wrongly accused of theft twice amongst other injustices. AbdulAfeez does not deserve a queen like you. He obviously does not care about your feelings and your rights and that's not marriage. You've been subjected to abuse and maltreatment in your matrimonial home and your husband didn't bat an eyelid, he wants you to continue without regard for your comfort and sanity, that's not home. A home is a haven of peace. A home is a place where the heart finds ease. A home is bliss. A home is tranquillity. A home is happiness, fondness and rosiness. A home is a place where lovers have mutual agreement. There's apparently no agreement and compatible goals between you and AbdulAfeez and he's not ready to change. There has to be compatible goals or where there's none, there should be a workable compromise. But in your case, there is none of the above. So tell me, do you want to live the rest of your life in shambles, and as a doormat?" Her sister-in-law asked why she shook her head.
"That's it. You deserve better. No woman deserves to go through abuse in a marriage. We thank God you were able to come out wholly without suffering a mental illness. Your life is not over. Allah has better things in store for you. You're still very beautiful even after three children. You're endowed with a beautiful character any man would desire in a wife. So tell me why you won't get a better man? Forget about AbdulAfeez and move on. He's your past. If you hold on you won't see the future which I'm sure is brighter than the past." Her sister-in-law consoled while she nodded in a lighter mood.
Her brother who had been silent all the while also joined the conversation at this juncture.
"I spoke to my friend who runs a big eatery. I told him you're a graduate of home economics. He's willing to offer you a job as a chef with good pay. Please go see him tomorrow. Idleness is what is making you wallow in self retribution and excruciating pain, if you get something doing, your pain will vanish into thin air." Her brother said while his wife concurred.
"Yes I agree with your brother. You need to ward away this sorrow by getting busy. Let me bring your food. If you refuse to eat it then you'll leave me with no choice but to force feed you with your mouth in between my thighs like our mothers do to babies in the olden days." Her sister-in-law joked while she laughed." Her family was elated to see her laugh.
"I'll be right back." Her sister-in-law said and rushed out of the room to get her food.
Time passed. She healed. She told her stories with tears initially but as time passed, she was able to tell her story without tears. The moment you're able to tell your story without a drop of tear, then you're healed.
She got a better man. When she looked back, she was amazed at how much she'd endured. When she experienced a better treatment, she realized she had held onto shambles for years.
_______
DO NOT DESPAIR IN YOUR PREDICAMENT
That MOMENT
When your COMMITMENT
As well as your ENGAGEMENT
Never got any ACKNOWLEDGEMENT
But an EMBARRASSMENT
With a lot of DISAGREEMENT
Which comes with heat ARGUMENT
You worry in BEWILDERMENT
Faced with loads of ASSIGNMENT
Without any COMPLIMENTS
To justify your ACCOMPLISHMENT
You wish to terminate your INVOLVEMENT
You could no longer bear the HARASSMENT
Do not despair in your PREDICAMENT
For Allah has an ARRANGEMENT
Which will give you an AMUSEMENT
Plus an ENLARGEMENT
In another ESTABLISHMENT
With an awesome IMPROVEMENT
In an elevated DEPARTMENT
With lots of ENCOURAGEMENT
And a better TREATMENT
In a conducive ENVIRONMENT
Devoid of IMPRISONMENT
Complemented with halal ENDORSEMENT
You shall say bye to DISAPPOINTMENT
When Allah give you a REARRANGEMENT
Rejoice in moment of EXCITEMENT
For Allah is through with His PRONOUNCEMENT
Which is everlasting ADVANCEMENT
_____
👉 No woman deserves to go through abuse in a marriage.
👉 Have a proper discussion with your would-be spouse before marriage. Ask the right questions.
👉 Not seeking external help sometimes does not help a marriage. Seek help when necessary. Depression is real. Mental illness is real. Victims of abuse are more prone to suicide.
👉 Laj fingers is not teaching you not to live with your in-laws. Domesticate this information. To domestic this information simply means to apply it as it conforms with your situation. Two situations aren't the same. If you misinterpret this message to be that laj fingers say you shouldn't live with your in-laws then you're answerable to Allah.
👉 This message is not in anyway an advocate for divorce. Divorce is the last resort after every reconciliation means have been exhausted.
👉 Laj fingers is not saying all mother-in-laws are bad.
👉 There're are one million and one good mother-in-laws.
👉 Dear mothers of today who have birthed sons, let's strive not to be the mother-in-law that we criticize
👉 It is easier to criticize the mother-in-laws of today, but when it gets to your turn, will you do better?
👉 Some wives too are so bad that no good in-laws can tolerate them. You can't be a bitter person and expect people to treat you sweetly. You're not OXYMORON. Some wives are so irritable that they don't want to welcome their in-laws in their space. Change for the better.
👉 Lastly, there's no one size fits all in marriage. Ensure you domesticate any information you read about marriage. What works for your friend might be a disaster for you.
👉 Lastly, know when you're the pain and when people are the source of your pain. That is, be good. A good person will attract goodness. And in a situation where you're good but you ended up in a mess of a marriage, seek help. No woman deserves to be abused. May our marriages be blissful.
LATEEFAH ADEWUNMI JUMAH;LAJFINGERS
24th March, 2021.
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