*10 HABITS OF HAPPY MUSLIM COUPLES* (Part 3)
*3. They communicate like best friends*
What a Whatsapp conversation looks like a few years into a typical marriage:
“Need bread.”
“K.”
I mean, c’mon: “K”?? Not even an “o” to make that miserable “k” look a little less miserable?!
What happens to married people’s manners, interest, enthusiasm and most importantly good assumptions when talking to their spouses?
Is it okay to talk this way because you’re just so used to someone?
Why do we not talk this way to people we’ve been friends with for years?
What makes a spouse less-deserving of respect, enthusiasm and affection when no one deserves it more than them (except our parents) for choosing to live every single day with us?
Why do we not talk to our spouses like we talk to our best friends, even though they are much closer to us than anyone will ever be?
Happy Muslim couples talk like best friends, in good times and in conflict. In good times, they wait to tell each other about their day, they joke, laugh, share ideas, flirt, compliment each other, respect their spouse’s right to hold different opinions and learn from each other’s opposing points of view. In fact, happy Muslim couples communicate just like the Prophet(Sallallaahu Alaihi Wasalaam) and his wives did.
Aisha (Radiallahu Anha) narrated that:
Allah’s Messenger (Sallallaahu Alaihi Wasalaam) said to her: “ *I know when you are pleased with me or angry with me.* ” I said, “Whence do you know that?” He said, “ *When you are pleased with me, you say, ‘No, by the Lord of Muhammad,’ but when you are angry with me, then you say, ‘No, by the Lord of Abraham.* ’ ” Thereupon I said, “Yes (you are right), but by Allah, O Allah’s Messenger, I leave nothing but your name.” [Bukhari]
Couples that have learnt to communicate effectively do away with the majority of marital stress because they become so attuned to each other’s feelings that they can immediately sense the emotional state of their spouse through the slightest change in words or tone.
And as our beloved Aisha (Radiallahu Anha) put it so beautifully – even in anger; happy, loving Muslim spouses never desert anything more than each other’s name when they try to communicate that they feel wronged or hurt. They never desert love and respect for each other in conflict: this, is the key to staying happy in your marriage.
...to be continued In-sha-Allah.
*"And keep reminding, because reminding benefits the believers."*(51:55)
*3. They communicate like best friends*
What a Whatsapp conversation looks like a few years into a typical marriage:
“Need bread.”
“K.”
I mean, c’mon: “K”?? Not even an “o” to make that miserable “k” look a little less miserable?!
What happens to married people’s manners, interest, enthusiasm and most importantly good assumptions when talking to their spouses?
Is it okay to talk this way because you’re just so used to someone?
Why do we not talk this way to people we’ve been friends with for years?
What makes a spouse less-deserving of respect, enthusiasm and affection when no one deserves it more than them (except our parents) for choosing to live every single day with us?
Why do we not talk to our spouses like we talk to our best friends, even though they are much closer to us than anyone will ever be?
Happy Muslim couples talk like best friends, in good times and in conflict. In good times, they wait to tell each other about their day, they joke, laugh, share ideas, flirt, compliment each other, respect their spouse’s right to hold different opinions and learn from each other’s opposing points of view. In fact, happy Muslim couples communicate just like the Prophet(Sallallaahu Alaihi Wasalaam) and his wives did.
Aisha (Radiallahu Anha) narrated that:
Allah’s Messenger (Sallallaahu Alaihi Wasalaam) said to her: “ *I know when you are pleased with me or angry with me.* ” I said, “Whence do you know that?” He said, “ *When you are pleased with me, you say, ‘No, by the Lord of Muhammad,’ but when you are angry with me, then you say, ‘No, by the Lord of Abraham.* ’ ” Thereupon I said, “Yes (you are right), but by Allah, O Allah’s Messenger, I leave nothing but your name.” [Bukhari]
Couples that have learnt to communicate effectively do away with the majority of marital stress because they become so attuned to each other’s feelings that they can immediately sense the emotional state of their spouse through the slightest change in words or tone.
And as our beloved Aisha (Radiallahu Anha) put it so beautifully – even in anger; happy, loving Muslim spouses never desert anything more than each other’s name when they try to communicate that they feel wronged or hurt. They never desert love and respect for each other in conflict: this, is the key to staying happy in your marriage.
...to be continued In-sha-Allah.
*"And keep reminding, because reminding benefits the believers."*(51:55)
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