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SOUND ADVICE FROM A WISE WOMAN

_*SOUND ADVICE FROM A WISE WOMAN*_

*"Thus we have made you a just (and the best) nation..." [Qur'an 2:143]*

There is concise advice which is among the best advice narrated from Arab women. This is the advice given by Umāmah bint al-Hārith to her daughter Umm Iyās bint 'Awf on the night of her wedding. Among the advice she offered was the following;

"O' my daughter! You are about to leave the home in which you grew up, where you first learned to walk, to go to a place you do not know, to a companion with whom you are unfamiliar. By marrying you, he has become a master over you, so be like a servant to him, and he will become like a servant to you.

*Take from me ten qualities, which will be a provision and a reminder for you:*

*The first and second of them are:* Be content in his company, and listen to and obey him, for contentment brings peace of mind, and listening to and obeying one's husband pleases Allāh, the All-Glorious, All-Merciful.

*The third and fourth of them are:* Make sure that you smell good and look good; he should not see anything ugly in you, and he should not smell anything but a pleasant smell from you.

*The fifth and sixth of them are:* Prepare his food on time, and keep quiet when he is asleep, for raging hunger is like a burning flame, and disturbing his sleep will make him angry.

*The seventh and eighth of them are:* Take care of his servants (or employees) and children, and take care of his wealth, for taking care of his wealth shows that you appreciate him, and taking care of his children and servants shows good management.

*The ninth and tenth of them are:* Never disclose any of his secrets, and never disobey any of his orders, for if you disclose any of his secrets you will never feel safe from his possible betrayal, and if you disobey him, his heart will be filled with hatred towards you.

Be careful, O' my daughter, of showing joy in front of him when he is upset, and do not show sorrow in front of him when he is happy."

*"Your happiness does not depend on anyone else, rather, it is in your hands."*

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