*10 HABITS OF HAPPY MUSLIM COUPLES* (Part 1)
What does it take to stay Muslim, married and extremely happy today? As oxymoronic as that just sounded, believe it or not, it’s absolutely possible!
Marriage, especially for Muslims, is a lot more than having someone to call a husband or wife. The marital relationship is an incredible blessing and divine sign, as Allah Ta’ala says in the Qur’an:
“ *And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquility in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought.”* [Qur’an: Chapter 30, Verse 21]
The whole purpose of having a spouse is to find tranquility in and with them; and our relationships with our spouses have signs that Allah Ta’ala is asking us to give thought to.
How are some Muslim couples finding this tranquility in their marriage while many others seem to be having a miserable time?
What are those couples whose eyes exude deep love and contentment doing right in their relationships?
Here are the top 10 habits of Muslim couples who’ve found tranquility and happiness in their marriage:
1⃣ *They love each other for Allah’s sake*
What does it mean to love each other for Allah’s sake? It means you make the love and obedience of Allah Ta’ala the basis and focus of your relationship with someone else. It means you love someone so much that you want your love for them to last beyond this lifetime and into the Hereafter, where you can live in eternal happiness with them having earned Allah’s pleasure together. It means you love someone purely because of how much they remind you of Allah Ta’ala and help you get closer to Him.
Hold it right there. I know what you just thought: “but my wife/husband doesn’t remind me of Allah at all.”
A lot of people who marry each other even for primarily religious reasons end up disappointed after marriage when they suddenly find their spouse not praying all the sunnah prayers (like they thought they would) or reading the Qur’an everyday or the morning and evening adhkar or fasting Mondays and Thursdays or being excited about attending halaqahs or praying tahajjud or doing something for the Ummah – like they thought they would. *Our own restrictions of spirituality to acts of physical or outward worship blind us from seeing how much our spouses contribute to improving our character,* which is an unsurpassed form of spiritual growth, because the Prophet (Sallallaahu Alaihi Wasalaam) says:
“ *Nothing is placed on the Scale that is heavier than good character. Indeed the person with good character will have attained the rank of the person of fasting and prayer.”* [Tirmidhi]
Your spouse has loved you for Allah’s sake every time they have:
▪stopped you from harbouring suspicions or ill-will (about your boss or competitor or any other annoying person in your life)
▪stopped you from backbiting (about your friends, colleagues, in-laws (ahem))
▪helped you be more kind and gentle in your speech and manners (to helpers, waiters, labourers, siblings, elders and children)
▪helped you fulfill people’s trusts (by encouraging you to get to work on time and do the best at your job, to pay off your debts, to keep people’s secrets)
▪helped you be more honest with yourself or to others
▪helped you forgive someone and overlook their faults
▪helped you become more generous or less extravagant
▪helped you recognize and overcome the weaknesses of your inner self
In all of the above and so many other times that go unnoticed, committed Muslim spouses consistently help each other get closer to Allah Ta’ala. They stop each other from anything that may lower them in the sight of Allah Ta’ala and constantly help each other win Allah’s love.
Truly happy Muslim couples engage in winning Allah’s pleasure together whenever and in any way they can: they glorify Allah Ta’ala together in the quiet hours of Fajr, they thank Allah Ta’ala in tahajjud together, they make it a point to read a minimum amount of Qur’an everyday, they do regular or even random acts of kindness and charity and they maintain loving and happy ties with each other’s families.
...to be continued In-sha-Allah.
*"And keep reminding, because reminding benefits the believers."*(51:55)
What does it take to stay Muslim, married and extremely happy today? As oxymoronic as that just sounded, believe it or not, it’s absolutely possible!
Marriage, especially for Muslims, is a lot more than having someone to call a husband or wife. The marital relationship is an incredible blessing and divine sign, as Allah Ta’ala says in the Qur’an:
“ *And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquility in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought.”* [Qur’an: Chapter 30, Verse 21]
The whole purpose of having a spouse is to find tranquility in and with them; and our relationships with our spouses have signs that Allah Ta’ala is asking us to give thought to.
How are some Muslim couples finding this tranquility in their marriage while many others seem to be having a miserable time?
What are those couples whose eyes exude deep love and contentment doing right in their relationships?
Here are the top 10 habits of Muslim couples who’ve found tranquility and happiness in their marriage:
1⃣ *They love each other for Allah’s sake*
What does it mean to love each other for Allah’s sake? It means you make the love and obedience of Allah Ta’ala the basis and focus of your relationship with someone else. It means you love someone so much that you want your love for them to last beyond this lifetime and into the Hereafter, where you can live in eternal happiness with them having earned Allah’s pleasure together. It means you love someone purely because of how much they remind you of Allah Ta’ala and help you get closer to Him.
Hold it right there. I know what you just thought: “but my wife/husband doesn’t remind me of Allah at all.”
A lot of people who marry each other even for primarily religious reasons end up disappointed after marriage when they suddenly find their spouse not praying all the sunnah prayers (like they thought they would) or reading the Qur’an everyday or the morning and evening adhkar or fasting Mondays and Thursdays or being excited about attending halaqahs or praying tahajjud or doing something for the Ummah – like they thought they would. *Our own restrictions of spirituality to acts of physical or outward worship blind us from seeing how much our spouses contribute to improving our character,* which is an unsurpassed form of spiritual growth, because the Prophet (Sallallaahu Alaihi Wasalaam) says:
“ *Nothing is placed on the Scale that is heavier than good character. Indeed the person with good character will have attained the rank of the person of fasting and prayer.”* [Tirmidhi]
Your spouse has loved you for Allah’s sake every time they have:
▪stopped you from harbouring suspicions or ill-will (about your boss or competitor or any other annoying person in your life)
▪stopped you from backbiting (about your friends, colleagues, in-laws (ahem))
▪helped you be more kind and gentle in your speech and manners (to helpers, waiters, labourers, siblings, elders and children)
▪helped you fulfill people’s trusts (by encouraging you to get to work on time and do the best at your job, to pay off your debts, to keep people’s secrets)
▪helped you be more honest with yourself or to others
▪helped you forgive someone and overlook their faults
▪helped you become more generous or less extravagant
▪helped you recognize and overcome the weaknesses of your inner self
In all of the above and so many other times that go unnoticed, committed Muslim spouses consistently help each other get closer to Allah Ta’ala. They stop each other from anything that may lower them in the sight of Allah Ta’ala and constantly help each other win Allah’s love.
Truly happy Muslim couples engage in winning Allah’s pleasure together whenever and in any way they can: they glorify Allah Ta’ala together in the quiet hours of Fajr, they thank Allah Ta’ala in tahajjud together, they make it a point to read a minimum amount of Qur’an everyday, they do regular or even random acts of kindness and charity and they maintain loving and happy ties with each other’s families.
...to be continued In-sha-Allah.
*"And keep reminding, because reminding benefits the believers."*(51:55)
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