*10 HABITS OF HAPPY MUSLIM COUPLES* (Part 10)
*Shaytan*
Remember all that incomprehensible pre-wedding drama between your spouse’s family and yours, or those regular ridiculous flare-ups that you realize made absolutely no sense after you and your spouse cooled down (e.g.: when “why did you turn off the light when you know I was reading?” ends in “marrying you was the biggest mistake of my life!” – W.H.A.T?!): yes, all those absurd, bizarre arguments that sprang out of nothing and all the other senseless discord in your marriage are the best compliments of shaytan.
The Prophet ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him) said:
“ *Iblis (shaytan) places his throne upon water; he then sends detachments (for creating dissension); the nearer to him in rank are those who are most notorious in creating dissension. One of them comes and says: I did so and so. And he says: You have done nothing. Then one amongst them comes and says: I did not spare so and so until I sowed the seed of discord between a husband and a wife. The Satan goes near him and says: ‘You have done well and then embraces him* .” [Muslim]
Shaytan doesn’t have any principles when he seeks to create marital discord: in fact, the rule is that he attacks from where you least expect it. Like through your normally loving, religious and sensible parent/sibling/well-wisher who begins to magnify some irrelevant flaw in your spouse that was somehow never an issue before you tied the knot. Shaytan perpetuates his whispers through their tongues, and you unwittingly believe them because they are your loved ones. And thus begins insane marital strife.
Here’s how to protect your marriage from the shaytan:
1⃣ *Read the mu’awwadhatayn* (Surat Al-Falaq and Surat An-Nas) and morning and evening adhkar daily.
2⃣If your spouse is behaving in a way or saying things they normally don’t, politely say: “ *honey, let’s not let the shaytan get to us.”* This is a tried and tested way to defuse a senseless argument before it starts.
3⃣If you find yourself starting to get angry, seek refuge in Allah subḥānahu wa ta’āla (glorified and exalted be He) from the shaytan immediately.
4⃣If you hear anything negative about your spouse from anyone, examine the words for signs of shaytan’s whispers and traps. If there’s anything that may cause you to have even the slightest ill-feeling or resentment towards your spouse, consciously recall all the good in your spouse and compare it to what’s being said about them: you’ll see the false/irrelevant claims quickly dissipating.
To be continued... In-sha-Allah.
*"And keep reminding, because reminding benefits the believers."*(51:55)
*Shaytan*
Remember all that incomprehensible pre-wedding drama between your spouse’s family and yours, or those regular ridiculous flare-ups that you realize made absolutely no sense after you and your spouse cooled down (e.g.: when “why did you turn off the light when you know I was reading?” ends in “marrying you was the biggest mistake of my life!” – W.H.A.T?!): yes, all those absurd, bizarre arguments that sprang out of nothing and all the other senseless discord in your marriage are the best compliments of shaytan.
The Prophet ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him) said:
“ *Iblis (shaytan) places his throne upon water; he then sends detachments (for creating dissension); the nearer to him in rank are those who are most notorious in creating dissension. One of them comes and says: I did so and so. And he says: You have done nothing. Then one amongst them comes and says: I did not spare so and so until I sowed the seed of discord between a husband and a wife. The Satan goes near him and says: ‘You have done well and then embraces him* .” [Muslim]
Shaytan doesn’t have any principles when he seeks to create marital discord: in fact, the rule is that he attacks from where you least expect it. Like through your normally loving, religious and sensible parent/sibling/well-wisher who begins to magnify some irrelevant flaw in your spouse that was somehow never an issue before you tied the knot. Shaytan perpetuates his whispers through their tongues, and you unwittingly believe them because they are your loved ones. And thus begins insane marital strife.
Here’s how to protect your marriage from the shaytan:
1⃣ *Read the mu’awwadhatayn* (Surat Al-Falaq and Surat An-Nas) and morning and evening adhkar daily.
2⃣If your spouse is behaving in a way or saying things they normally don’t, politely say: “ *honey, let’s not let the shaytan get to us.”* This is a tried and tested way to defuse a senseless argument before it starts.
3⃣If you find yourself starting to get angry, seek refuge in Allah subḥānahu wa ta’āla (glorified and exalted be He) from the shaytan immediately.
4⃣If you hear anything negative about your spouse from anyone, examine the words for signs of shaytan’s whispers and traps. If there’s anything that may cause you to have even the slightest ill-feeling or resentment towards your spouse, consciously recall all the good in your spouse and compare it to what’s being said about them: you’ll see the false/irrelevant claims quickly dissipating.
To be continued... In-sha-Allah.
*"And keep reminding, because reminding benefits the believers."*(51:55)
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