What should a parent do if sexual abuse is suspected?

 *What should a parent do if sexual abuse is suspected?*

 by Grown Ups Magazine 

Sexual abuse has far-reaching consequences. People who were sexually abused as children often have sexual problems throughout adulthood, including promiscuity and the inability to maintain a stable relationship. Discovering the sexual abuse and acting upon the information is key to reestablishing the child’s wellbeing.

As difficult as it is, adults must maintain a sense of calm when asking a child about a suspected case of child abuse. Don’t put the child on the spot by demanding answers. This tactic not only scares the child, but can also cause him or her to bury the secret deeper. Children often mistakenly believe that the abuse is their fault and that they did something to bring it on themselves. Instead, lead the conversation with a series of open-ended questions that require answers beyond a simple “yes” or “no.” If the child discloses sexual abuse, stay calm. It’s important to tell the child that you believe him or her and offer assurances that you will do what you can to protect him or her. Reassure the child that he or she did the right thing by telling you and that it’s not his or her fault that the abuse happened. Don’t make promises you can’t keep or have no control over, such as promising that the abuser will pay for his or her actions. Do not confront the abuser yourself.

Even if a child doesn’t confess sexual abuse, remember that a parent’s intuition is usually accurate. When in doubt, err on the side of caution and go with your gut. Every state has a State Child Abuse hotline to report acts of abuse. Call them and report the situation if the abuser lives within the home. If the abuse was perpetrated by someone outside the home, contact the police. If the child displays physical signs of abuse, take him or her to the doctor for verification and documentation. Keep in mind that certain individuals who regularly work with children, such as school personnel, social workers, health care providers, mental health professionals, child care providers, medical examiners, and law enforcement officials are required to report child abuse and neglect.

A counselor can be a vital resource for parents and children whether or not suspected abuse has been disclosed. They are trained professionals who can help the child understand that he or she is not to blame for the abuse. Counselors can also help reduce the behavioral and emotional damage imparted by sexual abuse.