The Long-Lasting Effects of Yelling at Your Kids

 *The Long-Lasting Effects of Yelling at Your Kids*

by Healthline.com

Overview

If you’re a parent, you know that sometimes emotions get the best of you. Somehow children can really push those buttons you didn’t know you had. And before you know it, you holler from the top of your lungs.

You’re not alone in doing that, and your feelings of parental frustration are normal. The good news is that you can change the way you talk to your children, switching from a yelling monologue to a respectful dialogue.

Why do parents yell?

The short answer is because we feel overwhelmed or angry, which makes us raise our voices. But that rarely solves the situation. It may quiet the children and make them obedient for a short while, but it won’t make them correct their behavior or their attitudes.

In short, it teaches them to fear you rather than understand their consequences of their actions.

Children rely on their parents for learning. If anger and associated aggression like shouting is part of what a child perceives as “normal” in their family, their behavior will reflect that.

The effects of yelling

If you’ve ever been yelled at, you know that a loud voice does not make the message clearer. Your children are no different. Shouting will make them tune out and discipline will be harder, since each time you raise your voice lowers their receptivity.

Recent researchTrusted Source points out that yelling makes children more aggressive, physically and verbally. Yelling in general, no matter what the context, is an expression of anger. It scares children and makes them feel insecure.

Calmness, on the other hand, is reassuring, which makes children feel loved and accepted in spite of bad behavior.

If yelling at children is not a good thing, yelling that comes with verbal putdowns and insults can be qualified as emotional abuse. It’s been shown to have long-term effects, like anxiety, low self-esteem, and increased aggression.

It also makes children more susceptible to bullying since their understanding of healthy boundaries and self-respect are skewed.