Let's Change Our Mindsets About Marriage Episode 249 WHEN SHE CAN'T BEAR A CHILD

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*Let's Change Our Mindsets About Marriage*

*Episode 249*

*WHEN SHE CAN'T BEAR A CHILD*

One of the trends of Jahiliyya was looking down upon people who were unable to conceive or have a child. This behaviour is one of the characters that the Prophet fought in the early Islamic period. Today we live in a society where people seems to forget that both life and death belong to Allah; just like a child, wealth and power/status. Allah says "To Allah belongs the dominion of the heavens and the earth. He creates what He wills.. " [42:49]

When you hurt your wife for not being able to conceive it shows how ignorant and naive you are, it shows your lack of faith in Allah; it shows your lack of knowledge about Allah. Likewise, hurting your daughter in law for not being able to conceive shows the same trend. Let me remind us, being born to this world is an opportunity; no one can make it happen without the decree of Allah. Your parents were not any better when Allah gave them children, including yourself. So if you have issues with someone's fertility, don't curse them, or pass negative comments toward them, they didn't create themselves, so how can they create a child? Query Allah instead, can you?

Many Prophets of Allah PBUH were denied children, though some were given, but later Allah took them away. So it is totally up to Allah to choose who to bless with a child. Many people who are not blessed undergo severe traumatic experiences. Some get divorced as a result as if they were the Creator (Allah). Some undergo family discrimination. That is injustice. So why add more pressure on them? Although we should all understand that blessing one with a child is a gift, not having it is a test. This is evident in the saying of Allah "And We will surely  test you  with  something   of fear and hunger  and , a  loss  of  wealth  and  lives  and  fruits,  but  give  good  tidings   to  the patient" [2:155] 

Brothers and sisters note that when you question someone's inability to concievie, you are not only offending them, but you are offending Allah as well. You are indirectly challenging the decree of Allah, and that can take you out of the fold of Islam. Bcos it is part of being a Muslim to accept Qadar (predestination). So watch your tongue and stay out of people's life. If you cant support them and make dua for them, then don't pass negative comments towards them.

Lastly, when you are in the presence of someone who does not have a child stop talking about children, stop asking them about pregnancy, stop talking about how blessed you are for having children. Talk about something else. It hurts them a lot to sit and listen to people say things about children. Please respect their feelings. 

May ALLĀH grant pious children to those who want them. Ameen