How to Stop Yelling at Your Kids – 10 Proven Ways

 *How to Stop Yelling at Your Kids – 10 Proven Ways*

1. BE PROACTIVE

If you feel the frustration coming, it’s time to clear your plate for the day.  Of course, it’s not always possible, but there are at least a couple of things on your list that you can skip to avoid the extra pressure.  Try to take it easy for the rest of the day.  Take this step before you get to boiling point.

2. BREATHE

Breathing deeply does wonders!  As soon as you feel that fluttering in your chest, close your eyes, and breathe.  Breathe deeply and slowly at least five times.  When you open your eyes, that rising feeling will be tamed.

3. SING!

This is my personal favorite.  I have a song I sing when I begin feeling frustrated.  It grounds me and takes my mind away for a minute or two.  This gives me plenty of time to calm down and stay calm.

Whether you can hold a tune or not, it doesn’t matter.  You’re not competing for a prize.  You’re being an amazing mom.  Sing your frustration away, and if dancing is your jam, add it to the mix.  

Afraid your kids might think you’re weird?  Great!  It’ll stop them in their tracks and they’ll stare at you in amazement.  They may even join you, and this will lighten the mood.  Sometimes there’s no better cure than a Hakuna Matata tune.

4. TAKE 5

Walking away for 5 minutes removes you from the situation and gives you space, which will help relax the tension.

This is not always possible, of course.  When your child decides to see if the dinner plate flies as well as a frisbee, it’s not exactly a good time to leave him to his own devices.  But when possible, take a few minutes to calm down before reacting.

5. REFRESH

Splash your face with cold water.  It sounds elementary, but it works.  Don’t want to ruin your makeup?  No problem, the next tip might be just what you need.

6. BLOCK

A very effective way to block words you might later regret from coming out is taking a mouthful of water.  Here’s the trick: Don’t swallow it until you’ve calmed down.

7. REMINISCE

Think back to when your child was a newborn.  You counted those tiny little fingers and toes, you kissed those rosy cheeks.  You stroked her tiny little head that felt like the gentlest velvet beneath your fingertips.  You held her as she was snoozing on your chest, and breathed in that delicious newborn scent.  

You were so thankful she was yours.  You are still thankful she is yours.  Think about how it felt to have this new little human depend on you.  She depended on you to feed, change, and nurture her.  She depended on you to soothe her cries, to rub her back to calm her.  

She still depends on you for all that and more.  Remember how it felt like to hold that little human in your arms and hold her again, even if she’s not that little anymore. 

8. IMAGINE

Imagine how your child feels when he is yelled at.  Imagine yourself in his shoes.  Maybe he had a rough day?  Maybe something else is going on that you’re not aware of?  Talk to him and try to see the situation from his perspective.  Ask him questions, and if he won’t answer, just be there for him.  Eventually, after he begins seeing you as someone who will listen without diminishing the importance of his feelings, he will begin to confide in you.

Kids go through hard things too, and if those things seem minuscule to us adults, it does not make them any less important or impactful to them.  Make them feel like you understand, and you both will feel better.

9. BOND

Build a strong bond with your children.  Remember, they are not an inconvenience, they are a blessing.  They’re real people, building real character.  Be their friend, their guide, and their confidant.  Make memories with them that they will remember with fondness.  Capture those memories even if you don’t feel camera-ready.  What do you want them to remember about their childhood?  A mom that yelled?  I doubt it.  I know I don’t.

10. BE A GOOD EXAMPLE

We all know that children do what we do, and not what we say.  If you want to raise your kids into adults that can channel their frustration in healthy ways, show them how to do it.  Yelling at them when you’re frustrated or angry will only teach them to do the same.  Teach them by example.

You may not always have a glass of water handy, or have the opportunity to step out for 5 minutes.  But having a few of these options to fall back on will arm you for battle against your own frustrated self.