Let's Change Our Mindsets About Marriage* *Episode 217* *DIVORCE YOUR WIVES IN THE ISLAMIC WAY

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*Let's Change Our Mindsets About Marriage*

*Episode 217*

*DIVORCE YOUR WIVES IN THE ISLAMIC WAY*

It is sad how some men divorce women as if their wives are commodities or something they picked from the bush. Marriage is something that Allah describes as great because it is a form of ibada as much as other forms of ibadat. The Messenger PBUH describes marriage as a path to Jannah. And He even describes men who are kind to wives as the best of men. 

Despite its greatness, some people have no regards or respect for marriage and its spiritual practices such as divorce. Divorce is as much ibada as the marriage itself, because it helps settle disputes or lessens the burden of a troubled marriage. Even though it is lawful to separate in marriage, yet, Allah is not pleased when it is done. So we must do it honourably and with caution.  Allah ta'alah and his Messenger have stated certain do's and don'ts we must observe during divorce, which many of us don't follow. Remember, divorce is part of ibada; therefore, observing it correctly is very important in Islam.

Dos and don'ts of divorce.

● Do not divorce without following the steps for divorce as stated in surat Nisa 34-35 where Allah says sit and communicate, then abstain from each other on bed, then seek an arbitrator, then if it fails, divorce is the last option. Lots of people just divorce without following this.

● Do not divorce when they are in the state of Menses. Allow them to finish before you do it.

● Do not divorce them dishonourably by saying I divorce you three times (Talaq Talaq Talaq) that is bid'a. The sunnah way is to divorce them once, and then subsequently. 

● Do not force them out of your house, because Allah instruct them to stay in your home until their iddah period is over.  (Al-Talaaq 65:1)

● During this waiting period, you cannot intimate them until you take them back as wives. 

● When you send them back to their home, give them a gift, be generous and kind. Gift can be money or its kind. 

● Do not abuse or hit them during the divorce process. 

● Don't just divorce them, write and have witnesses to witness the divorce. 

●If you wish to divorce a woman, don't just send her home and leave her to rot before you say you divorce her. If you meant divorce, be honest from the beginning, tell her or inform her parents. But don't force her out without telling her she is divorced. For example, someone says go to your village and stay. After five months, people start to spread the rumour, that is when she finds out. That is Haram Wallahi; you cant do that. It is not fair at all. 

Brothers, remember, when you married her, you didn't pick her from the bush, you followed a process and involved many people. So don't just discard her like that, respect her for the sake of Allah, respect her for the sake of your children, if you dont have, then respect her for the fact that Allah has made all the children of Adam special, so no one deserves to be disrespected. Also remember all the days when you used to enjoy her blessings. Dont be ungrateful.