Let's Change Our Mindsets About Marriage* *Episode 176* *DIFFERENCES BETWEEN ZINĀ (ADULTERY BY MARRIED PERSON i.e EXTRA MARITAL SEX) AND ZINĀ (FORNICATION BY UNMARRIED PERSON i.e PRE-MARITAL SEX)

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*Let's Change Our Mindsets About Marriage*

*Episode 176*

*DIFFERENCES BETWEEN ZINĀ (ADULTERY BY MARRIED PERSON  i.e  EXTRA MARITAL SEX) AND ZINĀ (FORNICATION BY UNMARRIED PERSON  i.e  PRE-MARITAL SEX)*

Punishment In Islam = There is Separate punishment for those who are married and those who are unmarried.

*UNMARRIED*

100 lashes punishment 

“The [unmarried] woman or [unmarried] man found guilty of sexual intercourse - lash each one of them with a hundred lashes, and do not be taken by pity for them in the religion of Allah, if you should believe in Allah and the Last Day. And let a group of the believers witness their punishment”. [24:2]

*MARRIED*

Stone till death punishment

A man from Bani Aslam came to Allah's Apostle while he was in the mosque and called (the Prophet ) saying. "O Allah's Apostle! I have committed illegal sexual intercourse." On that the Prophet turned his face from him to the other side, whereupon the man moved to the side towards which the Prophet had turned his face. and said. "O Allah's Apostle! I have committed illegal sexual intercourse." The Prophet turned his face (from him) to the other side whereupon the man moved to the side towards which the Prophet had turned his face. and repeated his statement. The Prophet turned his face (from him) to the other side again. The man moved again (and repeated his statement) for the fourth time. So when the man had given witness four times against himself. the Prophet called him and said. "Are you insane?" He replied. "No." The Prophet then said (to his companions). "Go and stone him to death." The man was a married one. Jabir bin 'Abdullah Al-Ansari said: I was one of those who stoned him. We stoned him at the Musalla ('Id praying place) in Medina. When the stones hit him with their sharp edges. he fled. but we caught him at Al-Harra and stoned him till he died. [Volume 7. Book 63. Number 196]

This might be helpful in understanding why the punishment is more for a married person, because he has signed a contract with the name of Almighty to be responsible and loyal to spouse and will not cross the boundaries Allah has set. (Nikkah). This means that 2 sins committed by the married person  

1. Zina

2. Unfaithfulness

ADDRESSING THE PROBLEM OF MASTURBATION AND PORNOGRAPHY IN THE MIDST OF THE MUSLIM YOUTHS TODAY

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The problem of pornography and masturbation has been seen by some people as a lesser sin to zina (fornication and adultery) or as a lesser evil to engage in so as not to fall into zina. But we need to remind ourselves that Allah didn't just forbid zina but He also forbade going near zina. And in the verses of the Qur'an where He permitted sexual relations with one's married partner and those whom our right hand possess, He warned us that no other means of satisfying sexual desires is permitted. Pornography and masturbation fall under other means of satisfying sexual desires, and they are all forbidden.

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It is indeed very sad to note that some Muslim youths are falling into these obvious traps of shayton. They assume pornography and masturbation to be minor or insignificant sins but this is a trick shayton is playing on their minds so that they can perpetuate themselves in these sins without feeling much guilt or remorse. One is also easily deceived by the fact that such sins are being committed secretly behind closed doors so they feel safe thinking that, at least, no one is aware of their committing those evils. These days, with the level of technological advancement people can watch pornography contents even on their phones so the evil has been brought too close and are just at the top of our fingers.

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But should Muslim youths be caught engaging in such sins because of the widespread evils and immoralities in our society today? What kind of sexual orientation has been given to our Muslim youths? Do they feel safe from the punishment of Allah when they engage in such base end shameful deeds?

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Firstly, we need to understand that these shameful acts are more than just a problem. They are calamities (museebah). Whoever falls into it has indeed fallen into a grave sin and may be under the wrath of Allah and fall out of His mercy. It is similar to the case of those who were forbidden from eating pork and drinking alcoholic wines yet they enjoy consuming both without bothering about the consequences in this world and on the Day of Accountability. Definitely Allah has cursed such neglectful people and they have been removed very far from His mercy until they repent.

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Secondly, a Muslim should remember always that he is being watched always by Allah's watchmen, the Angels. Allah says about His Watch guards, "......they are honourable writers (recorders). They know everything that you do..." They record all our deeds in details such that nothing big or small is left out without it being recorded in their books. We assume that they are only writing down our deeds but on the Day of Judgement, we shall be surprised that they shall present to us audio/video records of every detail of our entire lives from the cradle to the grave. We shall be left astonished and wonderstruck at the perfection and precision of the job done by the Angels in recording our deeds, speeches and thoughts. Even our skin, limbs and senses will be made to speak up and bear witness against us on that Great Day when all secrets will be laid bare and exposed and no individual will have any power or helper. We shall all be at the mercy of Allah, The King and Master of the Day of Resurrection. A Day when everyone will stand naked in front of Allah and the sun will be brought down close to our heads such that people's brains will be boiling and they will be drenched in their sweats except the chosen slaves of Allah who shall be under His special shade.

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Now, after knowing the implications and consequences, why will someone want to commit such heinous sins like pornography and masturbation when they have been given halal means of satisfying their desires in wedlock by getting married honourably and living in chastity and decency. Why would one choose the Haram over the halal when he very well knows that the permissible acts shall be rewarded handsomely while the forbidden acts will be punished severely and when he knows that Haram attracts the curse and anger of his Lord while halal attracts His pleasure and mercy.

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In islam, it is forbidden for a man to look at the thigh of a fellow man just as it is forbidden for a woman to look at the thigh of a fellow woman. What this imply is that it is forbidden to watch most of the games that are played while the players and athletes expose vital parts of their body like football, basketball, handball, boxing, wrestling, swimming, tennis, etc, etc. We will be left with watching only games in which the players wear clothes that cover up their bodies well like cricket, golf, ice-hockey, etc. Can you now imagine watching people naked and shamelessly engaging in immoralities and bestialities in the open and being aware that they are being watched everywhere these pornographic films are being played? Is this not outrageous and abominable? Can you imagine decent, civilized, cultured and well-mannered people to watch such shameless display of animalistic behavior? Can you ever conceive in your minds that Muslims who have been described as the best of people ever raised from mankind to sit down to watch such unrestrained immoralities? Muslims who are the best in morals and character, who enjoin what is good and forbid what is evil, and believe in Allah and the Last Day when they shall give account of their deeds? No. Muslims should not engage in such except they wish to give their Lord open evidence against themselves and they are daring Him by saying to Him, "....what can you do to us if we commit these grave crimes?"

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Some muslims will give excuses of late marriage as their reason for engaging in such shameful acts. Please, tell them that on the Day of Judgement, no excuse shall be accepted from them for they have been enjoined to get married early and to keep the company of the truthful and the righteous in order not to fall into such sins and traps of shayton. Some will say that they are only engaging in such sins temporarily till they are able to get married. Tell them that the moment that they commit these evil they seize to be believers until they stop committing the sin and they do not know when the appointed time will come for them to return to their Lord. What if Allah takes their soul while engaging in these sinful acts? They may think that it will be easy for them to abandon these evils when they decide to repent and turn back to their Lord but they may have become addicted to the evil acts and find it very difficult to leave them when they want to stop engaging in them. They may need medical counseling and psychotherapy and other professional help and rehabilitation before they can successfully leave these evil acts permanently.

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A word is enough for the wise. Muslim youths are advised to keep the company of pious and truthful youths and elders because a man easily follows the ways of his friends. And they should avoid bad associations and companies online. They must learn self-restraint, self-discipline and uprightness and they must never take sins with levity for as Allah is Compassionate and Merciful, He is also very Strict and Stern in punishment. May Allah preserve our iman and save us from the evil snares, traps and machinations of shayton. AmeenIt's not hard to find a beautiful woman. 

Do you know what's hard? 

Finding a woman with Imaan and Taqwa.

What's even rarer, a woman with the right Aqeedah. 

A woman away from Deviation. A woman who speaks upon Haqq. A woman who is away from Shirk and Innovation.

Choose wisely Brothers. Don't just go for Beauty.

Many times in marriages, a husband feels torn between his mother, and wife, when in fact, this not even an issue about choosing. His mother bore him, and his wife will bare his children, so they both fulfill the status of a mother. His role and challenge revolves around justice. He *must* be just whenever the scenario arises with the best conduct. We hear stories of abuse in households, and this takes place, due to the lack of justice and moral conduct. If these are present, then regardless of what role a person undertakes, justice will prevail. 

It is catastrophic and unfair to teach men to choose between both, or that one is more worthy than the other. I've heard that wives are replaceable, but mothers are not - what type of advise is this? Neither are, and neither should be. Both are essential and important for a healthy, functional society. We need to stop sending the wrong messages to our men, because due to these messages, injustice takes over morality. The lesson is always; be just, even if it is against you.

•••How To Be The Most Beautiful Woman in the World•••

With your beauty, you are better than the sun; with your morals you are more sublime than musk; with your modesty you are nobler than the full moon; with your compassion you are more beneficial than rain. So, preserve your beauty with faith, your tranquility with contentment, your chastity with the proper Hijaab.

Remember that your adornment is not gold, silver or diamonds, rather it is two rak'aats at Fajr, going thirsty when you fast for Allaah, concealed charity which no one knows except Him, hot tears that wash away sin, a lengthy prostration born of utter submission to Allaah, shyness before Allaah when the inclination to do evil overwhelms you.

Clothe yourself with garments of Taqwa (piety) for you are the most beautiful woman in the world, even if your clothes are shabby. Beware of the life of bewitching immoral disbelieving women, for they are the fuel of the Fire of Hell.

"None shall reach it but those most unfortunate ones"

~ Surah Al-Layl, verse 15

•••Beauty Of The Sahabiyaat رضى الله عنهما•••

☆We did not see their faces, We did not hear their voices, but when we read about them, we develop such love for them in our hearts, SubHaan-Allaah!

These are the Sahabiyaat رضى الله عنهما.

These are such people who define beauty not by looks but in their worship and love for Allaah.

☆They were beautiful yet they wore no brand, attractive colours or revealing clothes, rather they were covered with the highest level of hayaah.

You do not need to reveal your body and "put yourself out there" to be beautiful, you were created by Allaah,

{Al Musawwir} The shaper of beauty and He made you, because of that alone you are so beautiful.

Be inspired by the Sahabiyaat رضى الله عنهما, they are the women we should look up to...

Some parents have made marriage difficult, but at the same time are complaining that their sons and daughters are committing Zina. OK... 

Allahul Musta'an!

Make Nikah Simple 👍

{To be continued In-sha-Allāh (If Allāh Wills)...}

"And keep reminding, because reminding benefits the believers." (Qur-ān 51:55)