Head of the Family* [[---------- 6️⃣ -----------]]

 *Head of the Family*

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بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Islam allows polygamy and permits men, under specific circumstances, to have at most four wives at any given time. But, Islam does not have the intention of siding with men and encouraging them to overindulge in sexual desires and debauchery or to overlook the rights of women and *oppress* them. Rather, Islam’s aim is to uphold a range of women’s natural rights—the right to marriage, forming a family, and having and rearing legitimate children.

*Conditions for Polygamy:*

Islam tolerates polygamy; however, it has placed various conditions for it that, in practice, are very difficult to observe for the majority of men going for polygamy today. These are as follows:

1⃣. Possession of sufficient financial resources to provide all expenses of each family - feeding,, accommodation, health, clothing etc

From the Hadith,

Mu’awiyah al-Qushayri reported: I said, “O Messenger of Allah, what are the rights of women over us?” The Prophet (PBUH) said, “That you feed them when you eat, you clothe them when you clothe yourself, you do not strike her face, and you do not rebuke her or boycott except inside the house.” 📚Source: Sunan Abi‌ Da‌wu‌d 2142

Today,

You see a man who is sharing family financial responsibilities - feeding, clothing and even payment of house rent and children school fees (50-50) with his wife, AGITATING for second wife. And when the innocent woman *protest,* he say - *she is jealous.*  Islamically, men in this *types of 50-50 family responsibilities sharing formula* are not qualify to talk about second wife.

My brother, must everybody suffer  because you want to be happy by taking another wife?

2⃣. Physical prowers for completely satisfying the sexual desires of each wife

3⃣. Observance of complete justice and equality among each family in every way without any favoritism

On the above condition, Allah, the Almighty has declared in the Quran:

"then marry [other] women, who seem virtuous to you, two or three or four; and if you fear that you cannot do them justice, then marry one [only]…” 📚 Surah an-Nisaa

This verse gives permission for polygamy on the condition that there is no likelihood of refraining to observe fairness and justice, which is rather unfeasible and very hard to attain.

A man who has more than one wife is obligated to observe equality, justice, and fairness among his wives in the amount, type, and quality of nafaqah,, and even in mannerism.. It is the duty of polygamous men to behave comparably in all events, even if their wives are different in age, beauty, character, social status, and other virtues and perfections.

My people,

It is clear in another verse of the holy book that,, the verse above on justice amongst wives *does not* include *love or feelings* 😳. Yes. Allah (swt) say in the Qur'an: An-Nisaa (4:129)

وَلَن تَسْتَطِيعُوٓا۟ أَن تَعْدِلُوا۟ بَيْنَ ٱلنِّسَآءِ وَلَوْ حَرَصْتُمْ ۖ فَلَا تَمِيلُوا۟ كُلَّ ٱلْمَيْلِ فَتَذَرُوهَا كَٱلْمُعَلَّقَةِ ۚ وَإِن تُصْلِحُوا۟ وَتَتَّقُوا۟ فَإِنَّ ٱللَّهَ كَانَ غَفُورًا رَّحِيمًا

"And you will never be able to be equal [in feeling] between wives, even if you should strive [to do so]. So do not incline completely [toward one] and leave another hanging. And if you amend [your affairs] and fear Allah - then indeed, Allah is ever Forgiving and Merciful."

We must remember that,

Other aspects of mu'amalat mentioned above are non-negotiable. Yes. A man with morethan one wife must ensure justice in those aspects (feeding, accommodation, clothing, gifts etc) *EXCEPT* love or feelings.

*Don't hurt your wife with ill behaviors bcos you want to marry another wife:*

It's natural that any woman who love her husband will feel bad and jealous if she heard about another woman coming in.. Some women will....

TO BE CONTINUED