DIVORCE DIARIES Episode 25

 *DIVORCE DIARIES*

Episode 25 

Assalamu'alaykum warahmatullahi ta'ala wabarakatuh. Admin, please hide my identity.

I am 27 years old. I am  a sickler and also a pharmacist. I met my husband in 2014 through a Muslim health students program in his school then he was the Amir of his school then.

At first the relationship was distal and I wasn't serious but later on I noticed the seriousness in him and I became serious too. We finally got married in October 2018, before we got married I caught him cheating about 2 times, during those period he blamed me for his cheating, he told me that he is only doing so because I used to decline him of sexual intercourse then when he knew fully and assigned to our agreement of not having intercourse till we get married( I was a virgin then).

After we got married his cheating, fornication and adultery became so intense that he will even bring them to our matrimonial home and bed .... Along the line I fought him with all my strength and I also improved in all I can do to be a  better wife so that he can stop cheating on me.

He will apologize and vow never to do that again after each cheating offense and I will forgive without looking back! Family and friends began to notice during April 2019 and I couldn't hide anything again, he has a lot of girlfriends at work, neighbourhood, mosques and different places.

Around may 2019 I got to know I am pregnant and couldn't fight his promiscuous attitude any longer, he became more irresponsible and doesn't even care of my feelings anymore.

Our parents, ustaz, relatives, friends, mentor, counselor keeps advising him to stop his cheating attitude and he kept deaf ears.

I began to battle with High blood pressure, different STDs ranging from gonorrhoea, staphylococcus e.t.c even while pregnant and my condition (SS).

Around October 2019 I gave birth to a beautiful princess...we are both happy and I called him to order, analyse his attitude and tell him how I am giving him his last chance or else I will request for divorce. I begged him with the sake of our priceless jewel and he promised to change.

A week after the naming ceremony, his mother left  back to her base after preaching to him very well. My mum came to pick me and my child to her place so as to get proper treatment because I gave birth through Ceaserian Section (CS). The third day I left home my neighbour informed me that my husband brought a girl home and they have been together since I left... 

I sent my sister to confirm that for me and she confirmed it. I couldn't help myself and I requested for Talaq (divorce) again... I can't endure it any longer. This is too much for me!

I called his family and I informed them of what happened and my decision, they can't help it. My mother inlaw cried profusely for me on the phone. After some days my father-in-law came to my mum, he brought our ustaz that joined us together. They pleaded to my parents, asked for my forgiveness and they promised to follow the family up and it won't repeat itself again...I forgave and I returned home.

Around February 2020, I caught him again, this time I don't want to listen to any plea, I don't want to hear anything from anyone, am full of pains and regret. I had serious STD, he stopped dropping food allowance, he never brought anything for our child, nothing for upkeep too. How on Earth will I be doing all this and all I can get is cheating in return despite my condition???

I requested for another Talaq (divorce) and I sent him out of the house (I paid for the rent too) and I started living alone, that was during lockdown.

Some months after he took an elderly woman to apologize to my mum, my mum never liked me living alone, she forgave him and instructed me to accept him back to my life.

This time forgiveness, I told him to write me an undertaking that if such happened again I shouldn't listen to any sort of apology no matter where it came from or who is pleading! He did all I requested for, we got treated from the previous STDs and we started again despite having no trace of love for him again, all I could imagine is not to deprive my darling daughter the fatherly care she deserves!

After a month I started having symptoms of sexually transmitted infection again. I told him and he denied it, he said he didn't cheat on me. I took my time to go through his phone and I saw different messages on some ladies he aborted pregnancies for, some housewives he is fornicating with and even up to him having sex with his cousin.... Wallahi, it was too much for me to bear, I regretted going to that length, I sat him down in our silent moment and he told me the shocking news I would never forget in life!

He told me he doesn't love me and he got married to me because his ustaz said if he did he will become rich and I will make him successful in life ( Sub-hānallah ).

I don't know where he kept his Iman (faith) to believe that, I took so much courage and we went to the hospital, we did the infection test again and the report says he has heavy growth of staphylococcus!!! Not again.

At this point I dare who wants to apologize on his behalf, I took my things and I left with the pieces left in me.

No one is pleading on his behalf anymore, even his parents supported my decision, they prayed for me and they told me my life is more important than him.

I have never imagined to be a divorcee.

I never imagined to be a single mother.

I never planned to raise my daughter fatherless.

I knew Allah has something in store for me and I am patiently waiting for that. I don't think I have any reason to love or to marry again. I will be fine and I know I will be fine. 

Thank you for reading my DIVORCE DIARIES.