Guidelines To Intimacy In Islam Episode 3

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Guidelines To Intimacy In Islam

Episode 3

SEX AS A RIGHT OF BOTH SPOUSES

Islam protects the sexual rights of both the husband and wife, and to satisfy the sexual appetite of one's spouse is a legitimate objective of sexual relations and even of marriage itself. The right of gratification belongs to both husband and wife, and it is a mistake to assume that only the husband has this privilege.

The wife has as much right to expect her sensual needs to be fulfilled as the husband. As such, sensual gratification is the right of both spouses. Imam 'Ala al-Din al-Kasani عليه تعاىل هللا رحمة ,a prominent classical Hanafi jurist, states: "And both spouses share this ruling of deriving sensual gratification, for 

just as the wife is lawful for the husband [in terms of deriving sensual gratification 

from her]; her husband is lawful for her ... It is the right of the husband to request sex from her whenever he so desires unless there is an impediment, such as menstruation, postnatal bleeding, Zihaar [the husband swearing an oath to abstain from sex with his wife], being in the state of Ihraam and other impediments. And it is [also] the right of the wife to request sex from him, since deriving sensual gratification from him is her right, as it is his right to derive 

sensual gratification from her. (Badaa’i al-Sanaa’i 2:331)

Seeking one's rights through demands, force and argumentation contradicts the spirit of marriage, and never solves anything. Rights should always be understood in light of the following Hadith:

"The most perfect of believers are those most perfect of character; and the best of you are the best of you to your spouses." (Sunan al-Tirmidhi 1162)