Chapter One - Hadiza

 Hadiza

Chapter One - Hadiza 

My name is Hadiza. I was born in a community surrounded by people who didn’t care much about the value of life. Everyone lived as if tomorrow was a luxury they might not deserve—selfish, careless, and ready to take whatever they could grab. I grew up learning early that survival meant bending rules, breaking them sometimes, and smiling when the world judged you.

I was part of a group of girls who were infamous in our town. We were known for our disrespect, our daring nature, our refusal to bow to society’s narrow standards. We were dishonored in the eyes of many, laughed at, whispered about—but we didn’t care. In fact, we wore the title like a badge of pride. We were the gang everyone warned their daughters about. And deep down, we enjoyed it.

Our days were a blur of nightclubs, loud music, and tight clothes that drew more than attention—they invited desire, chaos, and sometimes trouble. Men from our town, even from neighboring communities, came to us with opportunities we called “jobs.” Whether it was a party, a club, or just someone’s private gathering, we were there. We knew the price, and we accepted it.

I had four friends—my sisters in crime, my chosen family. Khadija, with her sharp tongue and fearless laughter. Hafsa, quiet at first, but when she spoke, her words could cut through any lie. Jumai, the dreamer who believed she could escape all of this one day. And Zainab—Zee Baby—our leader in mischief, the one everyone followed without question. Together, we were unstoppable.

One night, as we lounged in my small room, the neon lights from the street outside casting shadows through the window, we began our ritual of reflection—or what we pretended was reflection. The air was thick with perfume, cigarette smoke, and the faint sting of alcohol lingering from earlier.

“I swear,” Khadija said, flicking her hair back, “sometimes I wonder if we’re really living… or just pretending life is fun.”

Zainab laughed, a high, careless sound that bounced off the walls. “Pretending? Life is exactly what we make of it, Khadija. Don’t tell me you’re getting soft now.”

Hafsa rolled her eyes. “Soft? Girl, don’t act like you don’t think about it sometimes. About the people watching, the whispers, the… consequences?”

Jumai leaned back against the wall, her eyes half-closed. “Consequences are for people who care. We don’t care. That’s why we’re free.”

Zainab’s smile faded just a little. “Free?” she said softly, almost to herself. “Do we really feel free, or do we just like pretending? Sometimes I look around and I feel… empty, you know?”

Khadija snorted, leaning forward. “Empty? Zee Baby, don’t start your existential speech again. We live for the thrill, the nights, the attention. Isn’t that enough?”

I stayed quiet for a moment, watching them, listening to the words float around the room. And maybe that night, for the first time, I felt a shiver of doubt. Not enough to stop me, but enough to whisper that maybe, just maybe, all this wasn’t forever.

The conversation drifted toward our plans for the weekend.

“There’s a new club opening in Ajegunle,” Hafsa said, pulling her phone from her bag. “I heard it’s going to be wild. VIP tables, international DJs. They’re asking if we want to perform. Well… you know…” She trailed off, letting the implication hang in the air.

I sighed. “Of course they’re asking us. They always do. And we’ll say yes, like always. Because what else is there?”

Jumai smirked. “Nothing else, Hadiza. Nothing at all. This life… it’s all we have. And we take it, every night, every opportunity, every man who throws money our way.”

Zainab crossed her arms. “You girls, always acting like this is enough. Don’t you ever think about what comes after? About the fall?”

Khadija laughed, but it was nervous. “Fall? What fall? We’ve never fallen. We’re too smart for that.”

Zainab’s eyes darkened. “Smart? Or just lucky? Luck doesn’t last forever, Khadija. You know that, deep down.”

Silence settled over us for a moment, broken only by the hum of the streetlights outside.

I finally spoke. “Do you ever… feel tired? Tired of pretending, of dancing, of being looked at like we’re… objects?”

Hafsa shifted uncomfortably. “Sometimes. But then I remember… it’s all we’ve got. And as long as we have each other, it’s bearable. Right?”

Zainab looked at me then, her eyes softer than I’d ever seen them. “Hadiza… I worry. I worry that one day, this life, this freedom, will turn on us. That one night, one man, one mistake… it could ruin everything.”

Jumai laughed quietly, almost bitterly. “Everything? We’ve already ruined everything for ourselves. Isn’t that the truth? We’ve already stepped past the line. There’s no going back.”

We all sat in silence after that, letting the words sink in. The conversation was heavy, but somehow, it felt real. Honest, even if the truth hurt. We didn’t say it aloud, but deep down, we all knew that our choices had consequences. And one day, the life we loved would betray us.

As the night crept on, we made plans for the club. Tight dresses, high heels, and makeup that could blind anyone in the room. We laughed, we joked, we danced in our small space as if the world outside didn’t exist. But underneath, the words Zainab had spoken lingered. The feeling that the fall was coming.

And maybe, just maybe, we weren’t as invincible as we thought.

To Be Continue inshallah.... 

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©AHMAD ZAHIR ENAGI ABU KHALIF