Let's Change Our Mindsets About Marriage Episode 279 What is a Good Muslim Marriage Like?

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*Let's Change Our Mindsets About Marriage*

*Episode 279*

*What is a Good Muslim Marriage Like?*

'You shall not enter Paradise until you have faith, and you shall not have faith 

until you love one another. Have compassion on those who are on earth, and He Who is 

in Heaven will have compassion for you.' (Hadith in Bukhari) 

Firstly, a good Muslim marriage should show welcome. Even if the wife did not spend all her day in the home, but perhaps had some employment outside it even so, the Muslim home should be ready to welcome the family and the guest.

 

It is the most miserable thing in the world to come home to a dark, locked house, totally empty and bereft of human presence-and this is particularly crushing to a new husband or a child. Any wife thinking of taking up some kind of employment should bear this in mind. Where children are involved, she should make some arrangement with a relative or helper so that they do not build up a mental picture of a home where they 'don't count, 'where they do not feel welcome. As regards a husband, as he is an adult he should not ignore the problems, but be able to talk the thing through and see what the difficulties are, and be able to support the best possible solution that is acceptable to them both. In an Islamic marriage, both husband and wife have responsibilities and duties, and both are individuals responsible before God for their own Records. Neither has the right to impose or force the other to do something against religion, or to make the other suffer. 

It is no good, of course, the husband simply feeling 'hard done-by' if he wishes to 

accept the wife's earnings as part of the total income of the household, but then 

makes a fuss if it is he who returns to the house first, and who might, perhaps, be 

expected in that case to light the oven or make the tea! Obviously, if the wife returns 

before the husband, it is she who gets the 'dark emptiness,' and she is naturally 

expected to accept this as part of the way things are. To some extent, it is not really 'part of the way things are' any more, in a society where the women are increasingly joining the men as part of the country's workforce. This has to be acknowledged. The correct Islamic attitude should always be to seek out the best way, and not insist on any code of conduct that is going to upset either partner, or make either partner suffer unfairly. It means that sometimes a husband may have to take the rough with the smooth, or it may mean that the wife may find it better for her marriage not to take full-time employment, if this threatens to put too much strain on the marriage. Everything should be considered fairly and openly. 

It is patently not all right to expect a highly intelligent woman to sit around at 

home wasting her life's talents by limiting herself to housework alone. It is true that 

there is serious unemployment in many Muslim societies, and a major influx of women into the jobs market would make this much worse and leave many families without one 

breadwinner, let alone two. But it is also true that the Muslim world is crying out for female 

doctors, nurses, lecturers and so forth, and these women have to undergo considerable 

sacrifice in order to get themselves trained, and expect to be able to offer their services to 

the community in much the same way as a trained man. It is not the duty of a Muslim man to be selfish and deprive the community of these talented and dedicated women, and 

expect them to limit themselves to the service of just one man. So many men take the 

talents of their wives for granted, and stultify their possible development, which is such a great pity, and a tragedy for society.