Let's Change Our Mindsets About Marriage Episode 281 What is a Good Muslim Marriage Like? (3)

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*Let's Change Our Mindsets About Marriage*

*Episode 281*

*What is a Good Muslim Marriage Like? (3)*

 

If the wife does go out to work, then extra thought and organisation are obviously 

needed, if the home is not to lose out. This might mean that a husband would be expected to do more in the way of housework than he might really want to do-and in fairness, if a 

woman is working long hours as well as the man, then he is a poor Muslim if he does not do his fair share around the house. 

Some Muslim men need reminding that the various fatwas (authoritative pronouncements in religious law) on who has responsibility for housework actually vary quite a lot from madhhab to madhhab, and that there is no fixed and rigid Islamic ruling in this respect. The Hanafis, for example (who include most Muslims in Britain), regard housework as a religious obligation binding upon the wife. Yet the position of the classical Shafi'i school is quite different: 

'A woman is not obliged to serve her husband by baking, grinding flour, cooking, washing, or any other kind of service, because the marriage contract entails, for her part, only that she let him enjoy her sexually, and she is not obliged to do other than that.' (Reliance of the Traveller, tr. Keller, p. 948.) 

If the man is not prepared or able to do his fair share, then other things have to be done when a woman goes out to work: cleaners, gardeners and baby-minders have to be hired to help. With good organisation, it can be done. A Muslim wife who let her home go to ruin while she made money outside would be at fault; but the responsibility of seeing that all runs smoothly is up to both husband and wife. There is no point whatsoever in a wife collapsing with exhaustion to the disgust of an unsympathetic husband. The Islamic way is one of love and consideration, and 

unselfish sharing.

 

Another aspect of welcome is in the generous reception of guests, which is regarded as an important Islamic duty. In Islam, the guest needs no invitation, even to come and stay for a few days, though it is obviously good manners if the visitor can inform the host in advance of his or her arrival. When guests come, Muslims should be hospitable and generous, whether or not they expect to get the same treatment in return. 

As regards the guest, you do not know whom God will send you, or for what reason-therefore you should always be prepared, no matter 

how humble the guest, or how inconvenient-and your household should always be 

welcoming. To achieve this, it has to be well ordered, with thoughtful and considerate catering. 

A guest cannot be welcomed if the cupboards are bare, and the furniture is dirty or broken-down, or if the husband and wife are seething with anger and resentment for each other. 

To this end, it is very important that Muslim men learn properly the principles of Islam when considering both the guest and the person who caters for the guest who is, of course, usually the wife. It is bad manners to bring back people unexpectedly, unless this really cannot be helped, especially in a society that has full use of the telephone! Even then, a good guest should not expect to be entertained lavishly if no

warning has been given-for the cupboard could be bare, or the wife could be sick or exhausted, or vitally engaged in some other planned activity. It is one thing to 

welcome the guest as the 'gift of Allah,' but it is quite another thing for people to impose rudely on others without thought for their convenience. If this happens, the wife can at least console herself with the thought that her sacrifice and good manners will be recorded to her benefit, whereas the guest's and the husband's rudeness will have to be accounted for.