Let's Change Our Mindsets About Marriage Episode 301 Principles in Familial Stability

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*Let's Change Our Mindsets About Marriage*

*Episode 301*

*Principles in Familial Stability*

*1. The First principle: Istiqamah (Steadfastness)* 

upon the commands of Allah —glorified and exalted

be He— is the reason for every happiness.

Allah —glorified and exalted be He— clarified in His

book the condition of His believing servants, so He —

glorified and exalted be He— said: “Verily, those who say:

"Our Lord is Allah (Alone)," and then they stand firm, on

them the angels will descend (at the time of their death)

(saying): "Fear not, nor grieve! But receive the glad

tidings of Paradise which you have been promised!”.

[41:30]

Those whom Allah —glorified and exalted be He—

mentioned their attributes [in the aforementioned verse]

and their speech, which is their statement: “‘Our Lord is

Allah alone’ then they remain steadfast”: they remain

steadfast upon Eeman (faith), remain steadfast upon

fulfilling the commands and staying away from the

prohibitions, and remain steadfast upon all of the

religion as the people of knowledge have said regarding

the meaning of Istiqamah (steadfastness).

And so what is Istiqamah? It is following the speech of

Allah —glorified and exalted be He—, and the speech of

the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم ,while adorning one’s self with the noble

Islamic mannerisms of which the encouragement of has

come in the book of Allah —glorified and exalted be He

— and the Sunnah of the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم ,because if a

person was to oppose this guidance, then verily he

would be a follower of his desires, [as Allah has said in

the verse]: “But if they answer you not (i.e. do not bring

the Book nor believe in your doctrine of Islamic

Monotheism), then know that they only follow their own

lusts. And who is more astray than one who follows his

own lusts, without guidance from Allah? Verily, Allah

guides not the people who are Zalimun (wrongdoers,

disobedient to Allah, and polytheists)”. [28:50]

And so Allah commanded us with Istiqamah, and for

that we supplicate to Him in every recitation of Surat Al-

Fatiha (the opening chapter of the Qur’an) by our saying:

“Guide us to the Straight Way”. [1:6]

And Allah —glorified and exalted be He— ordered us

with this tremendous commandment, which is the

commandment of Istiqamah, He said: “So stand (ask

Allah to make) you (Muhammad SAW) firm and straight

(on the religion of Islamic Monotheism) as you are

commanded and those (your companions) who turn in

repentance (to Allah) with you”. [11:112]. He said: “And

verily, this (i.e. Allah’s Commandments mentioned in the

above two Verses 151 and 152) is my Straight Path, so follow it, and follow not (other) paths, for they will

separate you away from His Path. This He has ordained

for you that you may become Al-Muttaqoon (the pious)”.

[6:153]

Al-Istiqamah: what is its relationship to the familial life?

And why is it a means from the means of happiness? 

No two people differ over [the fact that] obedience to

Allah —glorified and exalted be He— is the means to all

happiness, and that steadfastness upon His commands

and the commands of His Messenger صلى الله عليه وسلم is the means

for guidance and that which distances one from mental

and social problems and other than that. That is why if a

house was built upon the affair of steadfastness upon

the religion of Allah —glorified and exalted be He—, and

the two spouses strove from the very first day for its

foundation to be upon the commandment of Allah —

glorified and exalted be He— and the commandment of

the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم ,moved with their house away from sins,

violations, evil deeds, and semblances of disobedience,

strove to make it an ideal Muslim household throughout

which the verses of Allah —glorified and exalted be He—

are recited, and its inhabitants stand steadfast upon the

obedience of Allah and the obedience of the Prophet

صلى الله عليه وسلم ,carrying out the obligations and staying far away

from prohibitions, then there is no doubt that Shaytaan (devil) will be the furthest away from a house of this kind.

However, the house in which the aspects of

steadfastness weaken, and it becomes a center for evil

deeds and a place of religious violations, then no doubt,

the whisperings of Shaytaan and the desires of the self

will be prevalent in accordance to the distance of its

inhabitants from steadfastness upon the commandment

of Allah and the commandment of the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم.

And so, from the greatest blessings that Allah —

glorified and exalted be He— bestows upon a person:

that He grants him steadfastness upon the

commandment of Allah —glorified and exalted be He—,

the commandment of Tawheed (Monotheism), Eeman

(Faith), and obedience, and the affair Ittiba’ (following the

Messenger صلى الله عليه وسلم .(That is why the People of knowledge

said: “The greatest honor [that Allah —glorified and

exalted be He— gives a person] is constant

steadfastness”.

The greatest of what Allah bestows upon His slave of

Karamaat (miracles) is that he remains constantly

steadfast.

This does not mean that a person doesn’t make

mistakes, doesn’t slip, doesn’t fall into sins and acts of

disobedience, rather, a believer is one who always

returns to his Lord —glorified and exalted be He—, turns

to Him in repentance if he slips, makes a mistake, or heedlessness, forgetfulness, or negligence occurs from

him—he races towards repentance. Thus, this house

becomes a house established upon the obedience of

Allah —glorified and exalted be He—, and compliant to

the commandment of Allah —glorified and exalted be

He—.

These houses that don’t have acts of disobedience in

them, the Angels are present in them, and the

Shayateen (devils) flee from them. Therefore, it is

mentioned in the hadith: “Angels do not enter a house

which has either a dog or a picture in it”. [Bukhari, 3322],

because having a dog is impermissible, except in the

cases in which the Shari’ah (Islamic legislations) has

made an exception, and it is from the acts of

disobedience. 

Similarly, it is upon a person to purify his house from

every filth and every unpleasant matter, because this

aids a slave [of Allah] upon his tranquility, his

righteousness, and the righteousness of all those in the

household. 

A man came to the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم and said, "O Messenger

of Allah, tell me something of Islam which I will not ask

anyone else about it", He صلى الله عليه وسلم said, "Say, 'I believe in Allah'

and then be steadfast". [Muslim, 38]  Let us ponder upon the saying of Allah —glorified and

exalted be He—: “And whoever holds firmly to Allah, (i.e.

practically follows Islam—Allah’s Religion, and obeys all

that Allah has ordered), then he is indeed guided to a

Right Path. [3:101].

A tremendous verse [it is]! “And whoever holds firmly to

Allah”, i.e. entrusts his affair to Allah —glorified and

exalted be He—, holds firm to His legislations, and

embraces his religion, then [about him] Allah [has] said:

“Then he is indeed guided to a Right Path”.

This guidance is the guidance of Tawfeeq (success),

which is from Allah —glorified and exalted be He, alone

He is, without any partners—, and from the great favors

Allah confers upon a person is [the favor of] guidance,

and therefore Allah —glorified and exalted be He—

addressed His Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم] and said]: “Say (O

Muhammad): "Truly, my Lord has guided me to a Straight

Path, a right religion, the religion of Ibrahim (Abraham),

Hanifa [i.e. the true Islamic Monotheism—to believe in

One God (Allah i.e. to worship none but Allah, Alone)]

and he was not of Al-Mushrikun ". [6:161]

And so, the stability of the Family, its happiness, and

the righteousness of its affairs lies in clinging to its

Religion. Corruption in one’s religion, being far-off from

the Shari’ah (Islamic legislations), opposition to the guidance of the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم is [all] from the causes of

weakness, instability, and falling apart [of the family]. 

And for that reason, it’s not befitting that people always

look towards the materialistic causes, [rather] they

should review their relationship with Allah —glorified and

exalted be He—, His religion, the Sunnah of His Prophet

 صلى الله عليه وسلم ,the affair of Prayer, Qur’an an their conditions when

it comes to violations and sins so that they become

aware of the real causes that lead to instability,

disagreements, and the disaffection that occurs

suddenly between members of the family, whether

between spouses, brothers, or other than them.