Let's Change Our Mindsets About Marriage Episode 307 Principles In Familial Stability

 ﷽

*Let's Change Our Mindsets About Marriage*

*Episode 307*

*Principles In Familial Stability*

*7. The Seventh Principle: Martial secrets are not material for broadcasting and spreading.*

It comes in the hadith of Abu Sa’eed -May Allah be

pleased with him-: Allah's Messenger صلى الله عليه وسلم said: "The worst

of people in position before Allah on the Day of Resurrection is the man who has intercourse with his

wife, and she with him, and then spreads her secrets".

[Muslim, 1437]. This hadith indicates the prohibition of a

man spreading that which occurs between him and his

wife from the intimate marital affairs, describing the

details of it, and that which comes about from the wife in

it of statements, actions, or suchlike, as has been

mentioned by Imam An-Nawawi and other than him

from the people of knowledge. 

This hadith is clear in this matter, however, it is also not

permissible for a woman that she mentions something

of the flaws of her husband to people of which there is

no legislated justification for mentioning, and this is from

backbiting. Therefore, the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said: "Do you know

what is backbiting?" The Companions said: "Allah and His

Messenger know best." Thereupon he said, "Backbiting is

talking about your (Muslim) brother in a manner which

he dislikes." It was said to him: "What if my (Muslim)

brother is as I say." He said, "If he is actually as you say, then that is backbiting him; but if that is not in him, then

it is slandering him". [Muslim, 2589]

For the bond between the two spouses is a strong and

firm bond and the familial life is a life that requires

safekeeping and maintenance, and so when the

husband starts spreading the flaws of his wife amongst

people —and likewise the wife—, then it becomes a

demolition of the [family] structure and exposure of the

familial life to deterioration and weakness. 

If it has come in the hadith: "If a man spoke something

then turned and looked around, then it is a trust". [At-

Tirmidhi, 1959]; If he only looks to the right or the left,

then it is a trust, i.e. it is not permissible for a person to

inform of that, then how about that which happens

between the two spouses? This is an important affair. It is

not permissible for a wife to mention that which occurs

between her and her husband except in certain

instances such as an important matter where a

legislated reason is found from the likes of seeking a

religious verdict, consultation, complaining of

oppression in a court, or the likes of such issues.

Otherwise, the fundamental principle is that familial lives

are safeguarded and protected and that secrets are not

spread.