Let's Change Our Mindsets About Marriage Episode 311 10 HABITS OF HAPPY MUSLIM COUPLES (Part 2)

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*Let's Change Our Mindsets About Marriage*

*Episode 311*

10 HABITS OF HAPPY MUSLIM COUPLES 

(Part 2)

2. They are grateful for each other.

If there is one fundamental need that exists in every single human relationship, it is the need to feel relevant and appreciated. And there is no other relationship where this need is as grossly overlooked and abused, as in marriage. Why does this happen? Is it because humans tend to take things for granted, especially when they’re done by those closest to them?

When you’re newly married, every single thing your spouse does for you feels so special. As time goes by, your husband going out to work hard and earn for the family becomes normal; and a few years later it becomes “his duty anyway”. Similarly, every meal your new bride cooks is delightful, then somehow the salt always seems to keep getting lesser, till eventually she’s “not doing anyone a favour by just doing her job”.

Sounds familiar? Oh yes, ungrateful Muslim spouse speaking right there.

Happy Muslim couples live and breathe this hadith in their marriage:

“ He who does not thank the people is not thankful to Allah.” [Abu Dawud]

What is not there to thank your spouse for? Here are 5 reasons to thank your spouse right now:

1⃣For providing you a roof to live under/for making a home out of your house.

2⃣For buying you clothes to wear/for making sure you have clean clothes to wear everyday.

3⃣For buying you the food you eat everyday/for making delicious meals for you everyday.

4⃣For being there to take you where you need to go/for being there to take care of the house when you’re away.

5⃣For coming back home to you every evening/for being the person you can come home to everyday. 

Allah Ta’ala says in the Qur’an:

“… If you are grateful, I will surely increase you [in favour]; but if you deny, indeed, My punishment is severe.” [Qur’an: Chapter 14, Verse 7]

Our spouses are an immense favour and blessing of Allah Ta’ala upon us: they are an irreplaceable source of spiritual, emotional, mental and physical comfort. Happy Muslim couples keep getting happier because they simply implement the command of Allah Ta’ala in the above verse: They are grateful everyday for each other, so Allah Ta’ala increases the happiness they find in each other, just like He promised.

The verse doesn’t end there though. The last half of the verse should send a chill down every married person’s spine: “…if you deny, indeed, My punishment is severe.” 

How many times have our egos stopped us from acknowledging and appreciating our spouses? 

How many times have we denied all the good they’ve done for us through a single word or sentence in the middle of a senseless argument?

 Every conflict left unresolved, every hurtful word exchanged and every baseless complaint is a refusal to value one of Allah’s best gifts to us: a spouse . It is a denial of a favour Allah Ta’ala has blessed us with that many are longing for. And you don’t have to wait for the Hereafter to bear the consequences of such denial. Days of depression, frustration, anger, spite, lack of barakah (blessing), and even illness and hardships make life living hell for those who refuse to be grateful in their marriages.

Allah Ta’ala also says in the Qur’an:

“ And as for your Lord’s favor, then discourse about it! (i.e., proclaim it) .” [Qur’an: Chapter 93, Verse 11]

So if you aren’t doing so already, stop holding back and proclaim to your spouse how grateful you are for them!

You and your spouse can start becoming grateful for each other right now by:

▪thanking each other for at least one thing everyday: you could do this through a text message, a note in a lunch box or on the fridge, or just before you go to sleep at night (brothers, I promise you will not decrease in height if you do this).

▪exchanging a smile that says“thank you, you mean the world to me”saying “thank you/jazak Allah khayr” every time your spouse does something for you.

▪getting/doing small things for your spouse that you know they will absolutely love.

▪writing down things about each other you’re grateful for in a journal and exchanging your journals regularly: journaling makes you reflect, realize and truly internalize what you’re thinking about. There’s nothing better than internalizing the gratitude you feel towards your spouse; and there’s nothing more heart-warming for them to read than what you’ve written from the depths of your heart!

 

"And keep reminding, because reminding benefits the believers."(51:55)