10 WAYS TO AVOID SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE

 *10 WAYS TO AVOID SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE*

Sometime ago, I was anchoring a question and answer programme on WhatsApp and someone asked me how she can avoid having sex before marriage. For the benefit of others, I decided to write an article on it. 

Let me start by stating that sex itself is NOT a sin. Sex was created by Almighty ALLĀH. As a matter of fact, Almighty ALLĀH created us with sexual organs because He wants us to have sex. Sex is a gift from ALLĀH to us BUT it's to be enjoyed by ONLY legally married COUPLE. The only time Almighty ALLĀH expects us to have sex is when we are married not before marriage. 

Premarital and extramarital sex are sins. They may be fun but not honourable. If you notice those two words, one carries the prefix "pre" and the other "extra" and what's that telling us sex before(pre) or outside of marriage(extra) is not right. Sex is meant to be only in marriage (marital).

Avoiding sex before marriage, not just because it's the right thing to do, it will save you from lots of avoidable ugly experiences, guilty conscious, STDs, unwanted pregnancy, HIV/AIDS, stagnation, death, ALLĀH's judgement, abortion, etc. It pays to avoid sex before marriage. Almighty ALLĀH will be happy with you and at the same time you will save yourself from troubles. So, close up and zip up. 

 Avoiding sex before marriage is an honourable something to do. Maybe you are in a relationship right now and you sincerely desire to maintain sexual purity, to avoid sex before marriage, this article is meant for you. I present to you 10 ways you can avoid sex before marriage. 

1. Decide

You have to make a decision. Life is all about decisions. Nothing gets done without a definite decision. So, you and your partner have to decide too that you guys are not going to have sex, you've to make up your mind that you will not have sex till marriage. That's the foundation you are going to lay every other thing on.

2. Guide Your Mind

 Your mind is the gateway to your life. What goes on in your mind determines what goes on in your life. 

So, guide your heart from pollution, watch the things you fill your mind with, watch the music you listen to, the videos you watch, the things you read etc. These things have the power to influence your life. 

3. Mind Your Conversations 

 Avoid using obscene words, erotic words or suggestive words. Avoid sex chatting. Mind your use of words. In short, avoid words that can turn you on.

4. Renew Your Mind

 When you are always horny or having an erection, you have been filling your mind with sexual stuff, your mind needs renewing. 

Watch, listen and read positive things, mostly importantly the Glorious Qur-ān. Listen to great Islamic scholars, Hadīths, sermons seerah etc. That's how to renew your mind. Remember, it's garbage in garbage out. It's what you fill your mind with that it will process and give you back in return. You can't fill your mind with negativity and expecting to live positively.

5. Avoid Too Much Closeness 

If you don't want fire to burn you, don't go close. 

Avoid too much closeness. It can spark into flames. Men aren't the only one that lust, women too. Avoid too much unnecessary closeness in any form or shape physically or online.

 6. Avoid Staying In Secluded Place Alone 

Sin thrives in secret very much. To avoid having sex, try as much as possible to avoid staying alone in a secluded place together. If visiting him or her will make you both to fall into it, stop visiting, let your meetings be in an open place. 

7. Don't Cohabit

Cohabiting means living together when you guys aren't married. Cohabiting for whatever reason is not right. That's actually a sin. We should avoid every appearance of evil. 

You are only expected to live together after you are married not before you are married. Body is not iron it must react especially when emotion is involved. It's a harmattan fire! You can't keep a goat and yam in the same house and expects nothing to happen. 

8. Stop Collecting Or Requesting For Money

I'm talking to our beautiful ladies now. For some guys, giving you money or anything equals giving them right to ask for sex. So, don't ask and rarely collect when they give you.

When you keep asking or collecting money, when they ask for sex you'll feel obligated especially when they start blackmailing you emotionally, "After all I've done for you," "After giving you this or that," you get my point? 

9. As For Grace 

 In time past, sexual temptations, immorality and perversions are not rampant like it is now. You turn here and there sex. In the midst of all these, you need Almighty ALLĀH's enabling power (grace) to come out victorious.

The urge to sin is stronger than your will. You have decided many times not to have sex but you keep falling into it despite your decisions. It's good to make decision but much more than that, you need grace. So, ask for ALLĀH's grace. You can't do it on your own. 

10. Avoid Getting Intimate 

Don't eat the food while it's still on the fire. You're the same person that will eat it when it's cooked. So, avoid kissing, romancing, touching, smooching, unnecessary hugging etc., these are launching pad to sex!

Let me conclude by saying that, maintaining sexual purity pays, it will give you peace of mind, it will save you from troubles and most importantly, you will be closer to Almighty ALLĀH (i.e Almighty ALLĀH will love you) . 

May ALLĀH (Sub-haanahu wata'aala) guide us and make it easy for us as well as grant us righteous spouses at the appropriate time. Ameen