Let's Change Our Mindsets About Marriage Episode 308 Principles In Familial Stability

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*Let's Change Our Mindsets About Marriage*

*Episode 308*

*Principles In Familial Stability*

*9. The Ninth Principle: Pardoning when able is a means to repel disputes and the continuation of familial cohesiveness.*

Allah —glorified and exalted be He— made pardoning

desirous, He said: “But whoever forgives and makes

reconciliation, his reward is with Allah.” [42:40]. He —

glorified and Exalted be He— said: “And march forth in

the way (which leads) to forgiveness from your Lord, and

for Paradise as wide as the heavens and the earth,

prepared for Al-Muttaqun. Those who spend (in Allah’s

Cause) in prosperity and in adversity, who repress anger,

and who pardon men; verily, Allah loves Al-Muhsinun

(the good-doers)”. [3:133,134). And our Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said:

“And Allah will not increase the servant for [his]

pardoning except honor”. [Muslim, 2588]

 The best people you can pardon are those who are in

your own home; the best people a man pardons are

those who are closest to him, his wife, and his children.

And likewise, the best person a wife pardons is her

husband, even if he has made a mistake, forgot, or

became inattentive. He makes a mistake, and he

intentionally made that mistake, then he realized his

mistake. And so pardoning occurs because pardoning

has in it that which makes the love lasting; in it is

stability, in it is harmony and union, and it is that which

actualizes the great objectives of familial life. 

Allah —glorified and exalted be He— said: “Let them

pardon and forgive. Do you not love that Allah should

forgive you? And Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful”

[24:22]. He said: “Repel (the evil) with one which is better

(i.e. Allah orders the faithful believers to be patient at the

time of anger, and to excuse those who treat them

badly)”, not just a simple dispute, rather enmity. But if

you race towards beautiful speech, He said: “..then verily

he, between whom and you there was enmity, (will

become) as though he was a close friend.” [41:34]

Thus, in the pardoning of your wife, or the pardoning of

the wife for her husband, is the overpowering of the

Shaytaan and its defeat. Because the Shaytaan is

pleased with agitation between the Muslims and has

given up hope that the worshippers will worship him, so

he tries to sow discord between them. 

So, if a dispute occurs, the one who is at fault should

race towards apologizing, and the other party should

receive him with acceptance of the apology and

pardoning, without extending the size of the dispute

until the size of the wound becomes more than the size

of the bandage. A rational person does not do this, nor is

he is pleased with it.