Suffering in Silence* [[---- Episode 3 ----]]

 *Suffering in Silence*

[[---- Episode 3 ----]]
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بسم الله الرحمان الرحيم

Al-Qurtubi (r.h.) said: *“If you have power over your wife, then remember the Might of Allah; Allah’s Might is over every might, so no one should transgress his wife, as Allah Almighty, is indeed in observation and watching.”* 📚[End of quote]

Now,

Continuation of the previous episodes - as promised:

*Burning Issue No 2* Direct & Indirect Torture.

It is imperative to note that in addition to physical injury and assault, domestic violence can also be emotional and psychological, but is often taken as not being “that bad,” because it did not cause physical harm. In fact, emotional and psychological abuse is substantially more injurious than physical abuse, yet is not as often identified and addressed. Some of it includes:

*Cold-shouldering*

Cold-shouldering is a commonly used manipulation tactic that can, at its mildest, seem passive aggressive. At its most severe, it can feel like absolute psychological torture.

It is customary with some men that, when upset with their wives, they sulk, refuse to talk, do not attend to household responsibilities, hit the children, or grumble😀. Some men may even keep malice with their wife for longer than necessary.

Honestly,

This attitude, not only fails to punish the woman, but may result in her retaliation (sometimes). Yes. And life then, becomes difficult, turning into a series of quarrels. The woman moans, then, the man does😀. The woman does something else, and the man does the same until they become tired and, through the mediation of relatives or friends, which in most cases add salt to injury.

The Prophet (PBUH) stated: 👉🏻 "At a time when two Muslims refuse to talk to each other and do not reconcile within three days, both will be out of Islam, and there will not remain any friendship between them. Then anyone of them who takes the initiative to reconcile with the other, would enter Paradise faster (than the other) on the Day of Judgment'." 📚 Hadith

*Body Shaming*

This one is related to name-calling, but deserved its own description. Making your wife feel like she is “less than” because of her size or shape of her body is abusive. We are all worthy of love and respect, regardless of our bodies. Not everything you see outside that glitters is a gold.

In Surah An-Nisa' 4:19, Allah (swt) say:

وَعَاشِرُوهُنَّ بِٱلۡمَعۡرُوفِۚ فَإِن كَرِهۡتُمُوهُنَّ فَعَسَىٰٓ أَن تَكۡرَهُواْ شَيۡئࣰا وَيَجۡعَلَ ٱللَّهُ فِيهِ خَيۡرࣰا كَثِيرࣰا

"And live with them in kindness. For if you dislike them - perhaps you dislike a thing and Allāh makes therein much good". 📚An-Nisa' 4:19

*Name-calling*

Name-calling is a pretty obvious one, but is still worth mentioning. It can seem surface-level at times, but some name-calling can cut deep, especially when referring to someone’s identity, sexuality, masculinity/femininity, etc. It is one of the easiest ways to bring someone down. It is another one that we don’t always consider abusive, because it can be sometimes disguised as “jokes.” But when used to belittle, insulting names are not funny at all.

Yazid ibn Asad reported: The Messenger of Allah (pbuh) said to me, “O Yazid, love for people what you love for yourself.”

In another narration, the Prophet said, “Do not treat people but in the way you would love to be treated by them.” 📚Source: Musnad Ah‌mad 16220

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