My thoughts about women, and the evil of some women nowadays.

 *My thoughts about women, and the evil of some women nowadays.*

I keep wondering how I managed to study women, if this is really how some of them behave , but it’s obvious, especially in relationships.

 *Firstly:* Why do men always demand kisses, hugs, or other things from their girlfriends, even when they love each other and try to be righteous? The truth is, these things happen because women also take advantage of the men they are dating, even when they know he will never think negatively about them. Even when the man has nothing, and even when the woman is not truly in need of money, she still takes advantage, and that’s why men also end up taking advantage of them.

 *Things like:* 

“I don’t have data,” yet she is online.

“We didn’t cook at home today,” or “I don’t have appetite,” while she has eaten.

This is wrong. It’s obvious that some women don’t understand how men struggle and hustle to get money for them.

That’s why sometimes I don’t blame men who don’t give enough money to their wives, even though it’s not Islamic.

*Secondly:* Some women lie and narrate different stories when they feel you are madly in love with them. They use you as a shield even for family issues, and they never appreciate it. Instead, you are the one pampering her, doing everything to make her happy, while she takes advantage of your kindness.

This is to say that almost 50–60% of women, no matter who they are, even if she is a hafiza of Qur’ān, a niqābi sister, or anything else, some of them still fall into this category.

That’s why relationships today don’t last. About 80% of relationships end up in kissing, having sex, hugging, or doing things that are not permitted.

*My advice to sisters:* I’m not attacking anyone; rather I’m sharing what I have experienced, despite how hard I tried to be nice to my partner, yet she used me as a shield.

If you are the type who is in a relationship, avoid begging for money too often, for data, food, or making your man feed your whole family when he hasn’t even married you. And then after all that, some still cheat on the man despite all he did to support them.

Be sincere, have tawakkul, yaqeen, and sabr. Be content with the little he gives, and you will know your value and respect. No matter who the man is, he will respect you more. Share your pain with him, support him, pray for him, and always give him your time. Let him know you love him. Avoid unnecessary side talks and too many friends, and make sure your family knows about him.

*My advice to brothers:* Most men also take advantage of how women beg and their weakness, not because she doesn’t have enough money or is poor, but because some men want to sleep with them or make fun of them. In the end, these men end up turning her into another type of person, and she later inflicts revenge on others because of what she suffered.

As a man, the first thing to do after she accepts you is to introduce yourself to her family. At least let them know their daughter is in love, even if you’re not ready for marriage yet. And try your best to get married early, Allah’s support will come. Don’t be scared of marriage or waste your time and money on a lady you won’t marry.

Avoid giving too much money unnecessarily. Ask her what she will use it for. Don’t be afraid to question her if something is wrong that may affect your career, your life, or your deen. Know your boundaries, respect her as a woman, as a mother, and as a wife. Treat her like a queen, that will increase love between you.

*Note:* I’m not attacking or referring to anyone. I’m just sharing some of my experience and the lessons I’ve learned from the situation some women put me into. A lot of brothers and sisters should learn from these lessons.

*May Allah ﷻ protect us from deceit, guide us to sincerity, soften our hearts, bless us with righteous spouses, and make our relationships pure, honest, and filled with barakah. May He keep us away from people who will harm our deen or our heart, and grant us partners who fear Him, respect us, and value us. Āmīn.*

> Ahmad Zahir Enagi Abu Khalif ✍️