Muslims Till Death

 Muslims Till Death:

🍀بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم🍀
ﷺ ♥‌‌‌🍃ﷺ♥‌‌‌🍃ﷺ

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I find the story of ‘Aatikah bint Zayd al ‘Adaweeyah fascinating. It gives us insight into how free the women were from the clutches of toxic cultures we’ve all inherited. She was Umar ibn khattab's cousin. She was considered very beautiful and known for her piety. She married Abu bakr (ra)’s son; Abdullah ibn Abi Bakr. Abdullaah loved her with so much passion and was so overwhelmed by her that he wouldn't participate in some battles. At one point, Abu Bakr commanded him to divorce and he did so. He only commanded him to divorce her because he felt she was distracting him from his akhirah. But one day passing by, Abu Bakr (ra) heard his son recite the following poem:

‘I shall never forget you as long as the sun keeps rising,
and as long as the moonlight covers the confined pigeons.

"My heart turns to you every day and every night,
with the hidden affairs that souls are attached to.
I have never seen the likes of me divorce the likes of her,
nor have I seen the likes of her divorced without fault."

Abu Bakr allowed him to go back to 'Aatikah under the condition that his love for ‘Aatikah does not take him away from battles. Abdullaah then participated in the battle of Taa-if with the Messenger of Allaah - صلى الله عليه وسلم – and was struck with a spear and later died in Madeenah.

Aatikah recited mourning him:
رزئت بخير الناس بعد نبيهم ... وبعد أبي بكر وما كان قصرا
فآليت لا تنفك عيني حزينة ... عليك ولا ينفك جلدي أغبرا
فلله عينا من رأى مثله فتى ... أكر وأحمى في الهياج وأصبرا
إذا شرعت فيه الأسنة خاضها ... إلى الموت حتى يترك الرمح أحمرا

‘I suffered the loss of the best of people after their Messenger, and Abu Bakr, he was not neglectful.
So I took a pledge upon myself, that my sorrow for him,
shall not detach itself from me, nor the dust from my skin.
For who has seen the likes of such a young man,
who was more energized, heated up and patient in battle.
when the spear head entered him he took it,
to death, until the spear became red.’

Such a beautiful love story. She was loved so passionately by one of the best men. And she vows to never marry again- never to rub the 'dust from my skin'

But after her 'iddah ended, Umar ibn Khattab proposed to her.
And...she accepted!

She wasn’t considered “second class” because she was once married, she wasn’t expected to mourn her husband’s death until her own, her husband loved her so much - she could’ve remained unmarried to honor his memory. But she didn’t. Because life goes on. For both men and women. As it should.

At the waleemah, Ali ibn Talib, asked Umar for the permission to address his wife [another lesson here, notice he asked to speak in public directly to the bride]. Umar allows. So he stood beside the door and said to her: ‘Where is your saying:

فآليت لا تنفك عيني حزينة ... عليك ولا ينفك جلدي أغبرا

‘So I took a pledge upon myself, that my sorrow for him,
shall not detach itself from me, nor the dust from my skin. ‘

He is mentioning to her - in front of her new husband - the pledge she made to her ex husband! Not just that, recites her love poetry.
No one would dare do this now among the practicing Muslims.

'Aatikah starts crying.

What was Umar's reaction? The man known for his strength and gheerah. He defends her. And says: ‘What caused you to do that O Abul Hasan, all women do this.’
Ali responded : ‘Allaah said:

يا أيها الذين أمنوا لم تقولون ما لا تفعلون كبر مقتا عند الله أن تقولوا ما لا تفعلون

O you who believe! Why do you say that which you do not do? Most hateful it is with Allaah that you say that which you do not do. [As Saff: 2-3]

Ali radi Allahu anhu, simply wanted to warn her to not say what you don't know of the future. To not say something you can't be sure you will keep to.

Such sincerity and love among both the brothers and sisters. Devoid of extreme segregation and toxic cultural practices that bound women forever to “cultural norms” of today. So much of this interaction would be classified as “3ayb” or “shameless”.

But these were the most of modest of people.

Umar ibn khattab was then killed. And 'Aatikah became a widow once again. So she recited the following poetry.

عين جودي بعبرة ونحيب ... لا تملي على الامام النحيب
قل لأهل الضراء والبؤس : موتوا ... قد سقته المنون كأس شعوب

‘The abundant tears in my eyes and my crying,
are not sufficient for the Imaam.
Tell the people of distress and misery to die,
death has given him to drink from the cup of nations.’

Shortly after, she accepted another proposal from the sahabi Az Zubayr ibn ‘Awaam. He, too, was later killed in the battle of Jamaal.

She has now married three times! According to our society, she would have been de-valued completely, someone portrayed as not loyal enough. But rather, her status rose even more. Ali ibn talib proposed to her. She sent to him saying: ‘I will refrain O cousin of the Messenger - صلى الله عليه و سلم – for fear that you will be killed.’ Indeed he was to be killed. But instead Ali's son Hasan ibn Talib proposed to her and she accepted. Now she is married to the grandson of the prophet salalahu alayhi sallam. He, too, passed away in her lifetime. And he was the last of her husbands. It’s interesting to note how old she must be when Hasan radiAllahu anhu proposed to her. She had seen Abu Bakr passed away, his son killed, Umar Ibn Khattab killed and Zubair Ibn awwam also killed. And then she rejects Ali radiAllahu anhu’s proposal and instead married his son! 

These were the best of people who ever walked the earth. Who are we to come up with  notions more “noble” than them?
 
🍃🌹🍃🌹🍃🌹🍃🌹🍃🌹.