Together Forever* [[-- Episode 5 --]]

 *Together Forever*

[[-- Episode 5 --]]
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بسم الله الرحمان الرجيم

Sometimes, after marriage, the strong love you felt can start to feel weaker. This happens to many people. It does not mean you married the wrong person. It often means you have stopped learning about each other.

Why does love change after marriage?

When you were dating, you tried very hard to know each other. After marriage, you might think, "I know everything about my spouse." But this is not true. People change. What they like changes. If you think you already know everything, you can become bored or disinterested.

My People,

Marriage is a journey of knowing each other again and again. You must keep learning what is important to your spouse. This keeps your love fresh.

In fact,

Researchers found that in the happiest marriages, the husband makes a real effort to know his wife well.

Yes!

Men and women are different. They feel and act in different ways. A wife may talk more about her feelings. A husband may stay quiet and keep his feelings inside. Both ways are normal, but they can cause misunderstandings.

You must be a safe place for each other. If you do not talk at home, you might go outside to complain about your spouse to friends or family.

This is very dangerous.

When you share your private problems with outsiders, they might add "salt to injury." They might agree with your complaints and tell you bad stories about other couples. This can make your small problem feel like a big crisis, and create more anger.

The Prophet (pbuh) said, “I severely dislike that woman who puts her cloak on and leaves the home in order to complain about her husband.” 📚(Tabrani)

Furthermore,

Wise Arab advice for new couples is: "Do not disclose his/her secret, for if you do, you will make him/her hate you."

What should you do?

(1) Talk to each other, not about each other. Make your home a safe space where both can share feelings without fear.

(2) Choose the right time to talk. Do not talk when you are angry. Wait for a calm moment.

(3) Talk to build up, not to break down😃. Yes. Your words should help your marriage, not hurt it.

(4) Keep learning about your spouse. Ask questions. Be curious. Their "favorite things" today might be different from last year.

5) Understand your differences. A woman’s nature can be changeable, like a network in a village😃—sometimes strong, sometimes weak. This is not bad, it is just how she is created. The Quran says, "...And the male is not like the female...." 📚(3:36).

The Prophet (peace be upon him) advised us to be kind to women, because they are created from a curved rib. If you try to straighten it by force, it will break. If you accept its shape, it remains strong. So, treat her with kindness and care. 📚Bukhari & Muslim

In summary:

Love can diminish if you stop paying attention. Yes. Do not let outsiders into your private life. Instead, turn to each other. Talk kindly. Keep learning about the person you married. Make your home your safe place.

When you both try to do this, your love will not diminish. It will grow stronger every day.

May Allah (swt) protect your marriage, fill your home with patience and true love, and make your union a means of entering Jannah. Ameen.

To be continued...