﷽
*Let's Change Our Mindsets About Marriage*
*Episode 25*
*THE DUTIES OF A HUSBAND*
Lots of problem in marriages starts when partners start to neglect their duties. Or feel reluctant to do the right thing. Ihsan is good in Islam, that is being extra kind to one's wife. The following are the rights of a wife over her husband:
★- Financial rights: The scholars of Islam agreed that it is obligatory for husbands to spend on their wives, on the condition that the wife makes herself available to her husband. If she refuses him or rebels, then she is not entitled to that spending. In talking about spendings Allah says to Men: “Let the rich man spend according to his means; and the man whose resources are restricted, let him spend according to what Allaah has given him” [al-Talaaq 65:7]
★- Clothing: It is undeniably true that men are responsible for clothing their wives. And it goes in line with the above ayat (verse of the Qur-ān), which is to cloth them according to your means. Mind you, wedding cloths are not compulsory, Eid clothes are also not compulsory, what is compulsory is to cloth her to a degree that she is protected from exposure. No more no less.
★- Education: It is a basic right of a wife to educate her, because learning is the first instruction revealed to our beloved Prophet Muhammad (Blessings and Peace be upon him). That Iqra, meaning read [al-‘Alaq 96:1-4]. So if you want your children to be educated, you need to educate their mother. Note that, education here means, knowledge from both Islamic perspective and western.
★- Security and Protection: It is the right of your wife to feel secured within or outside. So right to security is an obligation and most be maintained. ‘Ali ibn Abi Tālib said, narrating from Ibn ‘Abbaas: “Men are the protectors and maintainers of women” Bukhari
★- Accommodation/Shelter: This is also one of the wife’s rights, which means that her husband should prepare for her accommodation according to his means and ability. Allaah says “Lodge them (the divorced women) where you dwell, according to your means” [al-Talaaq 65:6]
★- Fair treatment of co-wives: One of the rights that a wife has over her husband is that she and her co-wives should be treated equally, if the husband has other wives, with regard to nights spent with them, spending and clothing. Failure to be just, The messenger of Allah says “Whoever has two wives and leans towards (i.e. favours) one of them (over the other), will come on the Day of Resurrection with half of his body leaning.”
★- Kind treatment: The husband must have a good attitude towards his wife and be kind to her, and offer her everything that may soften her heart towards him, because Allaah says “and live with them honourably” [al-Nisaa’ 4:19] & [al-Baqarah 2:228]
★- Sexual Intercourse: having sexual intercourse with your wife is a must in Islam. Whether you like it or not. You can't leave her because you are angry or something. The messenger of Allah says “Fear Allah concerning women! Verily you have taken them on the security of Allah, and intercourse with them has been made lawful unto you by words of Allah. You too have rights over them, and that they should not allow anyone to sit on your bed" Muslim.
In conclusion, Ahmad (20025) and Abu Dawood (2142) narrated that Mu’awiyah ibn Haydah (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: I said, “O Messenger of Allah, what are the rights of the wife of any one of us over him?” He said: “That you should feed her when you feed yourself, clothe her when you clothe yourself, you should not hit her on the face, you should not curse her and you should not forsake her except in the house.”. If your treatment of your wife goes entirely against the above teaching, then you are nothing but an oppressor, and you can be called a Zalim.
*{To be continued In-sha-Allāh (If Allāh Wills)...}*
*"And keep reminding, because reminding benefits the believers."* (Qur-ān 51:55)
*Let's Change Our Mindsets About Marriage*
*Episode 25*
*THE DUTIES OF A HUSBAND*
Lots of problem in marriages starts when partners start to neglect their duties. Or feel reluctant to do the right thing. Ihsan is good in Islam, that is being extra kind to one's wife. The following are the rights of a wife over her husband:
★- Financial rights: The scholars of Islam agreed that it is obligatory for husbands to spend on their wives, on the condition that the wife makes herself available to her husband. If she refuses him or rebels, then she is not entitled to that spending. In talking about spendings Allah says to Men: “Let the rich man spend according to his means; and the man whose resources are restricted, let him spend according to what Allaah has given him” [al-Talaaq 65:7]
★- Clothing: It is undeniably true that men are responsible for clothing their wives. And it goes in line with the above ayat (verse of the Qur-ān), which is to cloth them according to your means. Mind you, wedding cloths are not compulsory, Eid clothes are also not compulsory, what is compulsory is to cloth her to a degree that she is protected from exposure. No more no less.
★- Education: It is a basic right of a wife to educate her, because learning is the first instruction revealed to our beloved Prophet Muhammad (Blessings and Peace be upon him). That Iqra, meaning read [al-‘Alaq 96:1-4]. So if you want your children to be educated, you need to educate their mother. Note that, education here means, knowledge from both Islamic perspective and western.
★- Security and Protection: It is the right of your wife to feel secured within or outside. So right to security is an obligation and most be maintained. ‘Ali ibn Abi Tālib said, narrating from Ibn ‘Abbaas: “Men are the protectors and maintainers of women” Bukhari
★- Accommodation/Shelter: This is also one of the wife’s rights, which means that her husband should prepare for her accommodation according to his means and ability. Allaah says “Lodge them (the divorced women) where you dwell, according to your means” [al-Talaaq 65:6]
★- Fair treatment of co-wives: One of the rights that a wife has over her husband is that she and her co-wives should be treated equally, if the husband has other wives, with regard to nights spent with them, spending and clothing. Failure to be just, The messenger of Allah says “Whoever has two wives and leans towards (i.e. favours) one of them (over the other), will come on the Day of Resurrection with half of his body leaning.”
★- Kind treatment: The husband must have a good attitude towards his wife and be kind to her, and offer her everything that may soften her heart towards him, because Allaah says “and live with them honourably” [al-Nisaa’ 4:19] & [al-Baqarah 2:228]
★- Sexual Intercourse: having sexual intercourse with your wife is a must in Islam. Whether you like it or not. You can't leave her because you are angry or something. The messenger of Allah says “Fear Allah concerning women! Verily you have taken them on the security of Allah, and intercourse with them has been made lawful unto you by words of Allah. You too have rights over them, and that they should not allow anyone to sit on your bed" Muslim.
In conclusion, Ahmad (20025) and Abu Dawood (2142) narrated that Mu’awiyah ibn Haydah (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: I said, “O Messenger of Allah, what are the rights of the wife of any one of us over him?” He said: “That you should feed her when you feed yourself, clothe her when you clothe yourself, you should not hit her on the face, you should not curse her and you should not forsake her except in the house.”. If your treatment of your wife goes entirely against the above teaching, then you are nothing but an oppressor, and you can be called a Zalim.
*{To be continued In-sha-Allāh (If Allāh Wills)...}*
*"And keep reminding, because reminding benefits the believers."* (Qur-ān 51:55)
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