﷽
*Let's Change Our Mindsets About Marriage*
*Episode 26*
*SEX EDUCATION IS A NECESSITY IN MARRIAGE*
I am not a fan of sex education, and I disapprove the idea of sex education from the western perspective. However, even though we keep running away from our reality, plus, some narrow minded Muslims are criticising it, saying even animals know how to have sex. My question is are human beings animals? Do we have same value or even nature? plus in some societies it is shamed and considered a taboo. Sex education is very important especially for young girls and even the matured ones. One would surely underestimate its effects on Marriage if you happen to know the statistics of marriages that ended as a result of lack of proper sex education. Like it or not, sex is part of marriage, and it constitute more than 50% of marriage routines.
Today we come to know that there are tons of books written by scholars with references from the Qur’an and sunnah about how to have a healthy and proper sex life. If sex is not important in our lives why our beloved Prophet Muhammad (Blessings and Peace be upon him) shares the etiquettes of sunnah sex in books of hadith? Are we more knowledgeable than him or more deserving than him to know what is right or wrong? It is to that point, I wish to say that it is an obligation on every mother to educate her daughter properly about sex before and after marriage. I collected a list of suggestions for that:
1. As early as the age of 7 to 10, make your child aware of the difference between male and female sexuality by highlighting the restrictions placed by Allāh between the two sexes. Also, make them aware of the fact that there are certain places in the body that are off limit.
2. At the age of 10 to 15, educate your child about the consequences of interacting with the opposite sex and the Shari'ah (Islamic Law) of Allāh on who goes against the limit. For the girls, tell them how to know when male is having a bad intent towards them. And let them learn to detect harassment when they see one. At this age, children are very curious about things related to their sexuality. Please, don't lie, tell them what they need to know in a moral way.
3. When they near marriage, an elderly person or their mother should talk about sex with them, on a lighter note. When their marriage comes very near teach them everything physically, show them, explain the body anatomy to them. Let them know everything. In some cultures, girls are grouped and taught together by an elder.
4. When they get married, follow up on that and make sure you are doing it right. And endeavour to ask them to know whether they need help. A sister couldn't intimate her husband for 3 months after marriage, just because she was told by a friend that it could be painful at first.
5. Never allow your child to learn about sex from an outsider such as school, TV, porn etc. When you let that happen, they find it the wrong way. And they misuse the information.
6. When you remove every barrier between you and your child, it is easy to control them and their mindset. When you shy away, then you allow the world to teach them.
Married couples as old as 30 to 40 are still battling with their sex life, because they make mistakes every day. There is a way of doing everything. Our Creator did not make us do things without guidance. Guidance to good sexual relationships can be found in the books of Sunnah. Stop listening to tales from ancient and medieval people that are saying talking about sex is a taboo. Yes, it is not a matter to talk about in public, rather, it is a matter that requires secrecy. So talk about it, learn it and share your knowledge.
(Copied)
*{To be continued In-sha-Allāh (If Allāh Wills)...}*
*"And keep reminding, because reminding benefits the believers."* (Qur-ān 51:55)
*Let's Change Our Mindsets About Marriage*
*Episode 26*
*SEX EDUCATION IS A NECESSITY IN MARRIAGE*
I am not a fan of sex education, and I disapprove the idea of sex education from the western perspective. However, even though we keep running away from our reality, plus, some narrow minded Muslims are criticising it, saying even animals know how to have sex. My question is are human beings animals? Do we have same value or even nature? plus in some societies it is shamed and considered a taboo. Sex education is very important especially for young girls and even the matured ones. One would surely underestimate its effects on Marriage if you happen to know the statistics of marriages that ended as a result of lack of proper sex education. Like it or not, sex is part of marriage, and it constitute more than 50% of marriage routines.
Today we come to know that there are tons of books written by scholars with references from the Qur’an and sunnah about how to have a healthy and proper sex life. If sex is not important in our lives why our beloved Prophet Muhammad (Blessings and Peace be upon him) shares the etiquettes of sunnah sex in books of hadith? Are we more knowledgeable than him or more deserving than him to know what is right or wrong? It is to that point, I wish to say that it is an obligation on every mother to educate her daughter properly about sex before and after marriage. I collected a list of suggestions for that:
1. As early as the age of 7 to 10, make your child aware of the difference between male and female sexuality by highlighting the restrictions placed by Allāh between the two sexes. Also, make them aware of the fact that there are certain places in the body that are off limit.
2. At the age of 10 to 15, educate your child about the consequences of interacting with the opposite sex and the Shari'ah (Islamic Law) of Allāh on who goes against the limit. For the girls, tell them how to know when male is having a bad intent towards them. And let them learn to detect harassment when they see one. At this age, children are very curious about things related to their sexuality. Please, don't lie, tell them what they need to know in a moral way.
3. When they near marriage, an elderly person or their mother should talk about sex with them, on a lighter note. When their marriage comes very near teach them everything physically, show them, explain the body anatomy to them. Let them know everything. In some cultures, girls are grouped and taught together by an elder.
4. When they get married, follow up on that and make sure you are doing it right. And endeavour to ask them to know whether they need help. A sister couldn't intimate her husband for 3 months after marriage, just because she was told by a friend that it could be painful at first.
5. Never allow your child to learn about sex from an outsider such as school, TV, porn etc. When you let that happen, they find it the wrong way. And they misuse the information.
6. When you remove every barrier between you and your child, it is easy to control them and their mindset. When you shy away, then you allow the world to teach them.
Married couples as old as 30 to 40 are still battling with their sex life, because they make mistakes every day. There is a way of doing everything. Our Creator did not make us do things without guidance. Guidance to good sexual relationships can be found in the books of Sunnah. Stop listening to tales from ancient and medieval people that are saying talking about sex is a taboo. Yes, it is not a matter to talk about in public, rather, it is a matter that requires secrecy. So talk about it, learn it and share your knowledge.
(Copied)
*{To be continued In-sha-Allāh (If Allāh Wills)...}*
*"And keep reminding, because reminding benefits the believers."* (Qur-ān 51:55)
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