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*Let's Change Our Mindsets About Marriage*
*Episode 240*
*Consideration in Mahr and marriage parties*
Aisha (RA) says that the Prophet (SAW) gave his wives 12 awqiya as Mahr (marriage gift given by the husband).
Umar (RA) narrates the same hadith about the wives and the Prophet's daughters.'" The Prophet (SAW) also said. “The best Mahr is the one that 1s the easiest (to give). ”'* An expert on this subject writes:
“Adopting the middle road and avoiding extreme measures, vanity and show bring about a successful marriage. The rich and famous should take the lead in these issues because they are the ones who start trends whereas others follow.”
Extravagant mahr and marriage parties require great resolve and expenses.
Again, people adopt two extremes in this issue. Some people are stingy to the point that they merely give their wives a few coins Then there are those who spend so much on the first night that they could afford to get many others married for the same amount of money. Both extremes are condemned.
Someone might ask: What does extravagant spending and stingy mahr have to do with a successful marriage?
The answer is that when a person takes on the responsibility to earn money beyond his capacity and starts to spend extravagantly, he will soon nun dry on emotions and then begin to blame his wife for every little thing that goes wrong in the marriage. He starts to say things like: ‘I earn for you and all you do is spend and you are the reason for all my problems.” Then, when all this is accompanied by the demands of “loan sharks” and others, matters get from bad to worse. Eventually, he can no longer cope and resorts to divorce. And even if he does not, the marriage is a total nightmare.
However. if a certain amount of foresight is used and the ceremonies of marriage are offered according to the practice of the Prophet (Blessings and Peace of Allāh be upon him) it is most likely that the expectations of all concerned will be more in line with reality.
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