A Story Of A Porn Addict.`

 `A Story Of A Porn Addict.`

My Muslim brothers and sisters, I started watching porn at the age of 12. It was introduced to me by my father's co-wife. She showed me porn when I was 12 years old. Since then, I would smuggle it from her room and went and watched alone. For good 5 years my love for porn continued to increase. I went and registered my name to a movie seller, who used to bring the latest porn in the market. At one go, I would buy 12 DVDs and i would watch from morning to night, non-stop.

Slowly, I started to masturbate as early as 18 years. And I was already exposed to bad women. By the age of 20, I already had my first sex with a prostitute. I wasn't lucky, I caught STD. And I was under isolation for a long time before i fully recovered. I almost lose my penis.

Even after my recovery, I continued to watch porn. Slowly I began to experience the following:

— My eyesight started to deteriorate. My vision became very weak. At the age of 22, I had to use glass. And a times my eyes kept releasing milky liquid like tears.

— I used to memorize the Quran. In fact I memorized more than half of it. But within no time, I lost everything.

— My memory started to decrease. I used to be bright and intelligent in class, but I became stupid. My thoughts were crazy and corrupted

— At the age of 26 - 28 my mental health was touched. Because I became unintelligent like a baby. Simply instruction I could not understand.

— I got married by 30 years. Even after marriage, with my wife, but I still watch porn and masturbated. Slowly I started to lose my manhood. My penis can’t stand for good 2 mins.

— My Imaan was lost. I did not have any fear of Allah. I used to miss my salah. I became very prone to violence and crimes. Sin became normal. I lost everything.

— My wife left me. She said I m mentally unstable. That's true. Because I used to hallucinate sometimes. It is a sign of a mental disorder.

— I’m still addicted, I repented a million times, but after 1 month or so, I returned back to my porn addiction. 

I’m sharing my story with you the Muslims because I don’t want you to fall victims like me. I’m regretting every second of my life. And I will never forgive my father's wife who introduced me to pornography.

If you are already watching porn, then stop, else, you cannot reverse the damage it will do to you. if you have not started watching, then don’t try. It is more addictive than cocaine and Heroin. I quit smoking and drugs easily, but I still can't quit porn. if you are a Muslim and you believe in Allah, please pray for me, may Allah change me to a better person. May Allah cleanse my soul.

As I’m crying while writing this, I hope you will look at my condition and pray for me.

May Allāh ﷻ forgive us, protect us, our offspring, the Ummah & humanity at large from this disease. AmeenL