Family 3rd Party* [[------8-------]]

 *Family 3rd Party*

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بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Most marriages today do not work not because the husband and wife aren't meant for each other but because third parties are being allowed in the marriage.

What does it mean to have a third party in your marriage?

It simply means you allow external people to interfere in your marriage. eg:

As a woman you always run to your parent to tell them what your husband does wrong or as a man, you allow your family members to dictate to you what should be and not be in your home thereby making your wife irrelevant when it comes to decision making.

We must remember that,

Marriage is a union between a man and his wife and not a man, his wife and the entire extended family or friends😀. Of course these people are necessary in ones life but they should have their limits when it comes to family matter in order for peace to reign in that marriage.

*The biggest issue:*

The couple normally set high expectations when they are entering into marriage believing that they would have a wonderful 100% perfect marriage since the love they had for each other is so strong.

But like all marriages, they would start having little misunderstandings, the husband begins to see the things he never knew the wife had in her and the wife also starts seeing things she did not bargain for in her marriage.

As young couples they can’t take it and normally they would decided start talking to people about their problems. Both get different types of advice from different people that does not help them.

My People,

No one should be allowed to interfere in your marriage. Yes. And when you start thinking you have someone else to talk to if your wife does not want to talk, things will get worse till communication gap widens. When there is no communication, things go from worse to worst, from Fry-pan to Fire.

The people you go to meet might not be having a good marriage, so what do you expect to get from such places? I believe in couples sitting down to settle their differences instead of having others do it for them.

But,

In the case where the husband is physically abusing his wife or vice versa *(for longer than necessary)*, she or he needs to seek help and not suffer in silence. But anyone they bring in should come to help, restore and be a blessing, not to push the marriage from Fry-pan into Fire. This is evident the saying of Allah (swt) in 📚Surah An-Nisa' 4:35,

وَإِنْ خِفْتُمْ شِقَاقَ بَيْنِهِمَا فَٱبْعَثُوا۟ حَكَمًا مِّنْ أَهْلِهِۦ وَحَكَمًا مِّنْ أَهْلِهَآ إِن يُرِيدَآ إِصْلَٰحًا يُوَفِّقِ ٱللَّهُ بَيْنَهُمَآۗ.."

"And if you fear dissension between the two, send an arbitrator from his people and an arbitrator from her people. If they both desire reconciliation, Allah will cause it between them...." 📚An-Nisa' 4:35

To be continued...