Family 3rd Party* [[------4️⃣-----]]

 *Family 3rd Party*

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بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

The first to third year of every marriage is not supposed to be tagged *"Honey Moon"* but *"Adjustment Period"*. Yes. For good marriages don't come easily. And marrying your perfect person doesn't automatically guarantee that your marriage will be perfect.

My People!

As great as your first to third year of marriage can be, it does come with its share of both highs and lows

"Marriage is hard," but since it's an act of worship greatly rewarding by Allah, been patience in the institution called "Marriage" is the only way out.

Let me explain,

“Patience” means remaining steadfast upon righteousness and obedience of Allah in face of obstacles and opposition. It means abstaining from sinful behavior and rejection of the truth, even when tempted by base desires, or provoked by physical or intangible calamities and afflictions. It also means returning the evil actions meted out by others towards you, with good retaliate conduct and behavior.

Remember that,

It is no longer news that there is no challenge-free relationship and so issues will always come up in every relationship, it will be building castle in the air to expect a challenge-free marriage. And a marriage must be nurtured to grow and flourish.

But,

*Why Is It So Hard?*

The good news is, the tough first to third year of marriage doesn’t last forever. Yes. Wise couples settle down and get used to the marriage and most go on to have many easier, less bumpy years after that.

Now,

The first to third year really is the hardest—even if you’ve already lived together. In fact, it often doesn’t matter if you’ve been together for multiple years, the start of married life is still tricky.

Try to keep some perspective. Yes. If you find yourself feeling low or irritable, take a breath. Are you and your partner fighting because they’ve actually done something wrong? Is the marriage really the problem or are you just taking out your own feelings of frustration on your partner? Oftentimes, if you take some time and think about it, the problem will lie somewhere else.

By the same token, if there are problems with your partner, don’t feel like you can’t mention them now that you just got married. Yes.
keep communication open, but do this with wisdom and maturity.

So,

To a large extent, it's not advisable for couples to allow third parties to mediate in their marital problems.

One thing we should not ignore here is also the fact that when we are hurt, emotions run wild and we say things we don’t mean, that are half truth or completely untrue, or divulge secrets of your spouse, all in order to make a point, or blackmail him or her, to prove a wrong doing. It is quite alarming how careless we get because we are mad at each other in a relationship. And words are like eggs, once spoken you can’t retract them, and when said in the presence of a third party, it becomes more difficult to forget and forgive. Also, a vicious circle of “do me, I do you” is created in this kind of marriage. Remember there is no art by which you can cover at home, the nakedness of your spouse which you exposed outside, via the third party.

To end this episode,

Not being able to control yourself when you’re angry can hamper your success in many realms of your life including marriage. Remember,......

To be continued..

*Share this very write-up to remind others*

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