First Thing First

 *First Thing First*

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بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Second Caliph in Islam: Khaleefah Umar (r.a.), before his death, as ruler, he was concerned with the well-being of the poor and disadvantaged. At that time, it was the custom to cut off the hands of thieves. However, Umar (r.a.) did not allow this to be carried out because he felt responsible for not being able to provide full employment for his citizens. In the latter part of his rule, he developed a form of the welfare state, which offered aid to both Muslim and non-Muslim poor, elderly and the disabled.

*Lessons from the Above:*

Umar (r.a.) did not fail as a leader because he did not fail in responsibilities.

Today, many marriages have failed because husbands have failed in their responsibilities as the head of the family. In fact, some men do blame their failures on lack of employment.

My brother,

Your wife expected you to provide for her when you married her. And when you fail in this responsibility, she becomes frustrated and your children too become social parasites😃.

Except in few cases, where married women will remain faithful to their marriages by all cost (in permissible ways), marrying a woman who believed that you will provide for the basic family needs and you eventually fail in this responsibility, she will continue to look for the means of taking care of her basic needs haram ways. Yes. And we are NOT saying this in support of husbands who have but choose spending on ladies or women outside, or men who are starving their wives & children because they are saving money to marry another wife. No!

For husbands who have tried their best and are still working harder to succeed in meeting up with their family responsibility, there's is no harm in wife of these categories of husbands supporting them financially.

In Africa,

There is a general notion shared mainly by African women that *“My Husband’s money is our own, My Money is my own.”*

If your African wife takes money from her own purse to take care of the family without adding it to your “debt” or taking it back “in a way.” You should be grateful to God😃, for very few of them exists.

Muslim Faithful!

Indeed giving charity is a virtuous act. Whilst it is not compulsory upon the wife to share family financial responsibilities, it would be highly imperative to assist him in his financial woes. In fact, a woman spending on her husband and family will earn her double the reward she is getting.

Evidence:

Abu Sa’id (r.a.) narrated that ‘Zainab the wife of Ibn Mas’ud came along and said to the Prophet “O Messenger of Allah (pbuh) You have commanded us today to give Sadaqah. I have some jewellery of mine and I wanted to give it as Sadaqah, but Ibn Mas’ud claims that he and his children are the most entitled to my Sadaqah. The Messenger of Allah (pbuh) said: *“Ibn Mas’ud is right. Your husband and your children are more deserving.’’* 📚 Authentic hadeeth

My People,

The above hadith does not imply spending every penny in our custody on our family. Yes. Islam encouraged us NOT to spend our money only on our family. Spending on other than our families is supported by hundreds of Qur'an verses including this:

إِنْ تُبْدُوا الصَّدَقَاتِ فَنِعِمَّا هِيَ وَإِنْ تُخْفُوهَا وَتُؤْتُوهَا الْفُقَرَاءَ فَهُوَ خَيْرٌ لَكُمْ...-الْبَقَرَةِ  271

*"If you disclose your charitable expenditures, they are good; but if you conceal them and give them to the poor, it is better for you"....*. 📚Al-Baqarah (2) 271