BEFORE THIRTY Episode 22

 BEFORE THIRTY

Episode 22:

Luqman has been taken to a nearby hospital in his parents car. I can’t even explain what I’m feeling at the moment. That I just discovered that I have an elder brother or the fact that the man I see as a future husband turns out to be more than I had thought?

This is so unfair. Who would have imagined everything will end this way? I lock the door from 

behind, taking a seat on my bed. So, dad had a son out of wedlock. He is a love child. I remember how he taught us to be good children. All his life, he preached modesty and religious consciousness. Could this the be reasons? This means the story he narrated to me that year was his. He didn’t hear from her and finally married my mother two years later. But he never knew she was pregnant of his child. I walk to my wardrobe to bring out the album that had his photos. I look at them thoroughly as if searching for answers. I wish you were alive, dad. I wish I could see the expressions on your face, finding out I am not your eldest child as we all thought. 

Probably this is the reason why I and Luqman are yet to find the right persons. He told me his heart is fragile and can’t withstand any further heartbreaks while I kept assuring him that we are meant to be. 

I hear Rahmah’s voice calls for me to open the door of which I did. She hug me with tears, looking disturbed.

“I’m sorry sis. Allah knows best. I’m sure dad must have regretted doing this too. What else can be done than to accept this as density.”

“Yeah!”

“Anti mi, are you sure you are fine with this? You are scaring me,” she stares into my eyeballs.

“Rahmah, should I kill myself? Honestly, life goes on.  It’s just obvious I can never find a good man for marriage. All I want to do now is to concentrate on my work, immersing my whole life into it. Life is nothing but abode of trials. Once Luqman, I mean, brother Luqman opens his eyes, I will return to Ibadan. What else will I be doing here? Ehmm... Where is mum and your brothers?”

My sister is speechless. Probably she is expecting me to be crying. Hasn’t my matter grown beyond crying? But I feel for Luqman. He had high hopes before now. 

“Rahmah, stop looking at me that way.”

“They’ve gone to the hospital. Everywhere is just silent. No one had envisioned everything would turn out this way.”

“Good to know they are with his family to console them. I hope he gets over this, sooner.”

The following day, I go to the hospital to check on him when I heard he has regained consciousness. Thoughts of how to feel around him disappear when I see him lying on the bed. He manages to brace up resting on the pillow. His mum appreciates me for coming, seeking for forgiveness for what happened.

“It’s not your fault, ma but what had been destined. No leaf will drop from tree without the knowledge of Allah. Brother Luqman, I am happy you are fine now. Kindly get a grip on yourself. In sha Allah, I am leaving for Ibadan once I get home. I was only waiting for you to recover before I leave. May Allah grant you the best.

“Aameen and you too,” he coughs slightly.

“Thanks my dear. I’m sure the best is on the way for you.” his mother adds while I laugh within. I wonder when people around me will stop saying this. I am about to leave when a young beautiful nurse walks in smiling.

“Assalam Alaykum, Mr. Luqman. I hope you are fine today? I am just resuming work, that’s why I haven’t shown up since. I got these fruits for you.” she brings out the fruits from her bag. Luqman didn’t say anything but nod.

“Thanks my dear.. I really appreciate this,” his mum grins.

I make my intention of leaving known, praying for him to get well soon. His mum accompanies to the gate and I leave for home. I can’t believe that’s how everything will end. He is now my elder brother. 

Getting home, I see my mother and siblings alongside some family members in the living room. They are all bothered about my reactions. 

“Fareedah, it’s normal to cry okay? This one you are acting as if It’s cool, I hope you won’t break down easily?” uncle Tahir’s wife insinuates.

“ I thank everyone for your kind words. However, I am pleading everyone one not to pressurize me ever or ask when it’s time to come for my marriage. May Allah bless you all. I will be resuming work tomorrow. So. I need to start leaving.”

Everyone is speechless, gaping at me.

I go to my room, pick my suitcase. I bid goodbye and about to exit when maami suggests my sister goes with me. 

I ask if she’s fine with and she nod.

Getting to Ibadan, I crash in couch thinking about my life. Then, the memory of Luqman visiting me start flashing in my head. He sat exactly the same spot I am sitting. The way we talked that day. How happy we were and how eager we were to see that day. Just then, I find myself weeping like a baby. The tears start flowing like a river. 

“Rahmah, why me? Do you remember the day we first met him. He mentioned that you are also his sister right? Why I didn’t I suspect since that day? I am a bad person. That’s the reason why I am yet to settle down.”

“It’s okay sis. You are not a bad person. I am sure the best is on... ” she is saying when I stop her.

“Just stop it. What best? Didn’t you see what just happened? But it’s okay ooooo. I have accepted my destiny. It’s just so hard for meeeeee. What others are getting with ease seems rocky for me. Henceforth, I am not ready to consider anything marriage. After all, it isn’t the key to a fulfilled life. And whoever brings up the issue of finding me a suitor shall hear it from me. Everyone should just leave me and allow me live my life,” I cry inconsolably. 

I tell Rahmah I will be needing a privacy, walking to the bedroom. I take a sit on the bed, freeing the tears from it’s bank. When my eyes are tired of crying, I go straight to the bathroom to perform ablution asking Allah to lesson my worries and give me the strength to withstand the pains.

Naheemah and Zulaykhah are sad too when they heard. It’s just too much for us to bear. But as Muslims we need to thank Allah for whatever happens either good or bad.

The day after, I get to work to find a staff in uniform of a cleaner. This means Fawzaan’s workload has bee reduced or what? I ask the security man when she was employed while he states that it was two days ago.

“Two days ago?”

“Yes ma. She’s the one who took the place of Fawzaan since he resigned on Saturday. With immediate effect, we placed vacancy outside. Fortunately enough, this woman showed up and she was hired and asked to resume today.”

My throat goes dry. Fawzaan resigned? Is this the reason why he was bidding farewells on Friday? What could be wrong? Why didn’t he tell me? My head is about to explode. I go straight to my office dialling his phone numbers but to in vain. When I can’t hold my horses anymore, I inquire from a colleague, Ameenah who explains in details. He came to work that Saturday morning and resigned giving the excuse of changing environment.  I ask myself questions till I close from work that day. 

Leaving the company, I head his grilling joint but isn’t found. I decide to inquire from the people working at the restaurant. I am shock when the owner tells me the last day he set her eyes on him was on Thursday. I dial his digits again it is switch off. 

I leave from there lost in thoughts, stopping at a supermarket to pick some items. On my way back to my car when returning home I bump into Abd’Salām, the young man assisting Fawzaan with his business. We exchange greetings and pleasantries. 

“AlhamduliLlah I found you. Where is Fawzaan? ”

“He has left for Abeokuta where his mother lives.”

“Why? And he did without telling me? Why did he do that? His phone is switched off too.”

“His phone is faulty. He dropped on the floor and the screen squashed.. And he actually left because of you. I have been telling him all these while to tell you about his feelings for you but he wouldn’t listen. He said he wouldn’t want to be like an opportunist and coupled with the fact he had debt to pay to you.”

“I don't understand. What feelings are you referring to?”

“Anti Fareedah, brother Fawzaan loves you.” he says and the bag in my hands falls off.