Remarrying Issue* [[--- Part 10 ---]]

 *Remarrying Issue*

[[--- Part 10 ---]]
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*Stepchildren Issues*

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

For divorcees or widow or widower, it's better to bury the past completely to enable you concentrate on the future. Yes. Bury the past completely including working out things which will cause K-legs to the future, eg children, because, stepchildren are often the dissolving agents in subsequent marriages. And children from a prior marriage, if care is not taken, make subsequent marriages even more complicated😃. Yes. The more children the more complications.

Now,

*Problems Caused by Stepchildren No 3:* Financial Stress

When many of us are looking for a partner, and thinking of getting married, and where there are stepchildren involved, how many people do "Discuss Who pays which bills?"

Couples that function the best in marriage have made their expectations clear from the outset. But many couples don't have those discussions and are operating on auto-pilot. "Lots of couples operate on what they assume in their head.

*Stepchildren Custody Agreement:*

Newly married spouses are advised to create time to discuss child custody agreements in order to clearly spell out useful informations such as the actual number of stepchildren and where they will stay and who will pay their bills (especially in the case of divorced women or widows re-marrying). Yes. There is no problem if divorced woman or a widow bow to pay the bills of her kids from previous marriage *(especially if the new husband can not afford it and she can)* in order to allow her new husband to accommodate the kids staying under his roof.

Evidence:

وَإِنِ ٱمْرَأَةٌ خَافَتْ مِنۢ بَعْلِهَا نُشُوزًا أَوْ إِعْرَاضًا فَلَا جُنَاحَ عَلَيْهِمَآ أَن يُصْلِحَا بَيْنَهُمَا صُلْحًاۚ وَٱلصُّلْحُ خَيْرٌۗ ...."

"And if a woman fears from her husband contempt or evasion, there is no sin upon them if they make terms of settlement between them -  and settlement is best....." 📚An-Nisa' 4:128

Settlement between the husband-to-be & wife-to-be regarding the custody of children from previous marriage is necessary because, parents and their new spouses may not have the same resources as their former husbands or wives, so they should discuss these issues before moving in together.

Servants of Allah!

It’s perfectly understandble to prefer to marry a person with no kids, but if you actually marry someone with kids from previous marriage, then, you need to embrace them and grab countless rewards, because Allah (swt) says in Surah Al-Kahf 18:110

"...فَمَن كَانَ يَرْجُوا۟ لِقَآءَ رَبِّهِۦ فَلْيَعْمَلْ عَمَلًا صَٰلِحًا ...."

"So whoever would hope for the meeting with his Lord -  let him/her do righteous work...." 📚Al-Kahf 18:110

*The Bottom line:*

When two people marry, they become a family. A kid is a part of that family, whether biological to both or just to one. Yes.  If a person can’t fully accept the reality that their spouse will spend on kids – then don’t marry the person, or be ready to fully accept it, because, *"Kids"* deserve kindness, patience, and love.

To be continued...