Remarrying Issue* [[--- Part 7 ---]]

 *Remarrying Issue*

[[--- Part 7 ---]]
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*Stepchildren Issues*

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

As Muslims, we learned from our beloved Prophet - Muhammad (pbuh) to invest heavily on children's upbringing so that they become righteous and God-fearing, so that even after our demise, we will continue to receive rewards until the day of judgement.

Remember,

A child is a child, irrespective of whether you are the biological parent or a stepparent. Besides, it's possible that people's children Allah (swt) may use to grant you mercy & favors in this world and the next. Yes. We have seen parents who did not  enjoy their own biological children like they enjoyed Stepchildren they took care of.. So, if you have opportunity of helping people's children *(either by marrying a divorced Woman or a widow)*, pls do.

Now,

*Problems Caused by Stepchildren:*

*Number 1:* Disciplining as a Step-Parent

A new stepparent may perceive that the biological parent is favoring his or her children due to concern for their well-being. This may be particularly true if the stepparent already dislikes the children. If the newlyweds both have children, either party may show obvious partiality to their biological children, causing the other spouse to feel resentful.

Now,

One of the most common blended family problems is learning how to discipline as a step-parent. Yes. Step-children often act out, especially after their life has been drastically altered by a new marriage.

Maybe they’re ignoring your simple requests to contribute to household chores or anything. Or maybe they’re testing their boundaries when it comes to curfews and arguments😃. Whatever the case may be, it’s not easy. And the most common response you may hear when attempting to discipline is, *“You’re not my real parent!”* - Please Sir/Ma, let this not pull you to draw back when it comes to playing your role as stepparent. Yes. It's not easy though, but it's your responsibility to put your heads together (husband and wife) to discipline your children.

Evidence:

Abdullah ibn Umar reported: The Messenger of Allah (pbuh) said, *“Every one of you is a shepherd and is responsible for his flock. The leader of people is a guardian and is responsible for his subjects. A man is the guardian of his family and he is responsible for them. A woman is the guardian of her husband’s home and his children and she is responsible for them....."* 📚Source: S‌ah‌i‌h‌ al-Bukha‌ri‌ 7138, S‌ah‌i‌h‌ Muslim 1829

This task may be difficult, but always remember the rewards it carry along. Rewards? Yes rewards. Allah (swt) says in Surah 64:15

إِنَّمَآ أَمْوَٰلُكُمْ وَأَوْلَٰدُكُمْ فِتْنَةٌۚ وَٱللَّهُ عِندَهُۥٓ أَجْرٌ عَظِيمٌ

"Your wealth and your children are but a trial, and Allah has with Him a great reward". 📚At-Taghabun 64:15

So,

The first step is to discuss the misbehaviors with your partner. Bring them up to speed with the issues and talk about what punishments they feel are appropriate.

Then, approach the child together, as a team. Let the biological parent do the talking, but make sure they use words that represent you as a couple. Yes. Words such as, *“We feel that you’re acting out.”* - With this, over time, your presence will become more accepted and you’ll gain more authority and control as a parental unit.

*Problems Caused by Stepchildren No 2:* Bonding as One Unit

If dad always handles his biological child’s activities and mom handles her own child’s schedule,......