Let's Change Our Mindsets About Marriage* *Episode 171* *ROMANCE – Do something romantic for your partner every once in while!

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*Let's Change Our Mindsets About Marriage*

*Episode 171*

*ROMANCE – Do something romantic for your partner every once in while!* (Copied)

Romance in this day and age in underrated, unless you’re having extra-marital affairs, in which often the driving force right after sex is being flattered with romance. It is no secret that most couples who get divorced or who are unhappy in their marriages haven’t had romantic time for months if not years in most cases. Every day we hear and read about cheating stories in the paper and it is often alleged that married couple had not even talked to each other nicely for years! Every marriage will go through tough times and there will be times where both of you will need some space. However, this doesn’t mean that spouses should not put in extra effort for romanticising each other throughout the marriage. Romance is not difficult, what it basically means is engaging in activities that shows care and affection between a husband and wife. It doesn’t have to be physical. In fact, physical romance is just one dimension of romance, it’s the small non-physical romance that makes a huge difference.

Romance can include simplest of things, just holding each other’s hands once in a while, complementing each other often and reminding each other how much you value their company. If your spouse is busy taking care of kids, help her out with the dishes or cleaning or simply join her and the kids to create a memorable family experience together. If your husband is working till late and working hard to provide for the family, make sure you create a peaceful and calm environment for him when he returns home. One of the reasons so many relationships turn sour is that spouses instead of appreciating the good thing that their partner does for them, they just cannot let go of small issues and past grievances. Always remember, there can be no fulfilling sex life of a married couple if there is no romance in there! Romance is the first step in creating a harmonious marital relationship amongst a couple.

There is another important point worth noting here which is particularly important for Muslim women especially from conservative cultures. If you won’t tell your husband how much you love him, how much you find him attractive and if you won’t express your desires for being with him, there are unfortunately a lot of horrible women on the street who will! I have personally witnessed marriages being destroyed for this very basic reason. An unhappy husband with no romance in his life can easily fall prey to cunning and deceiving women elsewhere who will lie and shower him with praises to get favours from him and since he already is yearning for that approval and appreciation at home which he doesn’t get, he becomes an easy target for such haram actions. A good example is an uncle of one of my friends. His wife would not have food on the table, when he came home she would complain, she would want him to listen to her woes and really not care much about him. When the uncle went to work there was a woman there that brought him home made food, she would praise him and say how good he was. Gradually he fell for her, although Alhamdulillah he did not do anything haram, he actually proposed to her! He got married to her and his first wife left him in anger. The reason this example was given is, it is not just affairs, if you want your husband not to get married again you need to let him know he means something to you! Again, Romance is an act of worship and ajar if done with the intention of keeping oneself and their partner chaste Insha-Allah!

{To be continued In-sha-Allāh (If Allāh Wills)...}

"And keep reminding, because reminding benefits the believers." (Qur-ān 51:55)